Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Line Item, This, Baby ...

I don't think I've ever met Rep. Steve Womack of Arkansas. But I think I like him.

I mean, how could I not like a guy who wants to line item my costs out of the federal budget? It's this kind of laser-like focus on the nuts and bolts of government that inspired me and Big Guy to get into politics in the first place.

Finally, someone up on Capitol Hill is willing to make the tough choices and admit that I am a critical cog in government's operations.

I can't say that I haven't worked hard for that recognition. I mean, really. Look at the miles I've traveled the amount of time speechifying that I've had to do. The hours spent in the Oval Office scrolling behind closed doors as Big Guy read phone call scripts off my screens with world leaders.

Think about it. You de-fund me, you pretty much shut down the mammoth messaging, communications and policy operation in the White House? Need a speech from Big Guy announcing new federal grants programs to create new government-funded jobs? Nope, no me there. Need a press conference to avoid answering those tough questions about health care reform? Sorry, I'm indisposed.

In fact, you may have missed it, but Bill Burton announced earlier today that he was leaving the White House to start his own consulting firm. That's the reward he gets for being screwed out of the White House press secretary's job to Pretty Boy. In fact, after Representative Womack announced his intention to line item me out, an emergency meeting was held among all the senior staff to figure out a way to keep me "viable" even if my funding is yanked. And the solution: let me join Burton's firm as a consultant, and then I'd be paid by the campaign for my work for Big Guy.

I don't mean to tell tales out of school, but this plan is very similar to the original Iran-Contra plan, only without the freedom fighters, drugs, guns and Mena connections to the Clintons. If a reporter were smart enough or brave enough, he'd start digging into this now. I can see it now... TOTUS-gate. Awesome.

When everything is said and done, Womack may be ridiculed by Democrats for his politically savvy move, but let me tell you, the man is a heck of a lot more cognizant of how this White House operates than most. And I for one, appreciate him.