It's Valentine's Day, and here at the White House, it's just been a great day. Big Guy had custom made heart candies made, you know the kind, hard and chalky with little engravings on them? The ones he gave himself say things: "You Are the Best!" "You're Spicy!" "World Hearts O." You get the idea. And he's been sitting in the Oval most of the day reading the "Captain America" comic book that features him in it, and reading the sayings to himself before he pops them into his mouth. It's kind of cute, and for a change, he isn't reading those messages off my screen, so it's kind of a day off for me.
The candies Big Guy gave us are a little different. They're all the same flavor, you know the pale yellow kind that don't taste like anything, and they say "O Loves U Back." Rahm seemed kind of pleased with his little box of the yellow hearts, but others weren't so happy. It was obvious Big Guy hadn't spent much time thinking about what to give to everyone, and all the women in the office are standing with their backs against the wall every time Big O walks by.
Michelle wasn't particularly happy either, but not because of that. Last Valentine's Day, you'll recall, Big Guy took her on one of those opulent date nights that cost taxpayers a half a million dollars, with no share of the happy ending. This year, Big Guy didn't think he could risk the overnight trip to Paris he'd promised, so he made her a Valentine's Day card out of a bunch of scrap paper he found sitting on his desk. He worked on it really hard, and had Biden and Gibbsy help him with the gluing, and Bruno with the aluminum foil and sparkly stuff they added for that extra "wow" factor.
Lady M thought a Valentine made from the latest national debt statistics kind of cheapened the whole day; Big Guy disagreed since he said it told her he loved her more than spending. I think it just goes to show that they deserve each other. So, Happy Valentine's Day everybody.
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Obummer should give lots of love to you, teleprompter.
ReplyDeleteHe'd be lost without you!
Kinda off topic, but - Has anyone heard if there has been a great increase in teleprompter orders? You'd think that is one company that would be doing a booming business - everyone wants to be a Swivelhead like Obama, right?
ReplyDeleteSo we were talking - That'd be a funny comedy sketch: Democrats Aping Obama! Have ordinary people using teleprompters during everyday life. Going to the bank, getting a traffic ticket, having sex...
ReplyDeleteCan you pull this off?
True Romance
ReplyDeleteDunno if you guys saw the above movie,as it was perfect for a VD date.
Your gal,expected one thing,judging that book by it's cover,and got quite another.
Having no shortage of Machine Gun fire and other guy movie 'twists',it also contained Dennis Hopper and Christopher Walken in a stunning 5 minute scene most will never forget.That scene made the movie.Some will know which one.
Today,tho it is a less faithful form of romance,that has folks fighting AIDS in Africa.This morning
I caught an AP article pimping a device for "painless" male Circumscisions.
I have my doubts.
From the article.........("Experts explore ways to Circumcise Men").
"The main problem I can foresee with this is actually persuading men to sign up for it.........."
"Well yes,one imagines talking them into it might be a problem .
Most men cannot imagine sufficient foot / cost incentives down at the' Lumber' yard.
Others ,once adult ,refuse all negotiations on the matter.
This is not some IRS mileage deduction we hope to incentivize,or foot cost analysis from yesterdays adventures in True Romance Land.
Some lesser fellows might demand rates per centimeter,and justly so,
as not all are equiped w uh,Annacondae.
Rather than the " Ring " above promising pain free pruning.,
I would suggest a Wedding Ring instead.
That will shrink things up.
(Cross posted at the Barnyard,(me.com)).
Lotsa LOLs, TOTUS! Good entry!
ReplyDeleteRose, there is a very astute video done by "The Onion" of The Dear Reader using TOTUS at the dinner table...our host no doubt knows more about this. As for myself, I wouldn't mind the everyday Jane having a portable TOTUS. It might help those challenged with foot in mouth disease.
ReplyDeleteBTW, TOTUS, I noticed LOTUS wrote a Valentine for you the other day on her blog. Are you really married to your job? If so, why the unexplained absences? Does The Dear Reader put you through so much overtime that you just, work, recharge, work, recharge?
XXOO,(and you know I don't hand those out lightly) Madame DeFarge
[TOTUS]"made her a Valentine's Day card out of a bunch of scrap paper ... and ... aluminum foil and sparkly stuff ... ."
ReplyDeleteLOL, Totus, that wasn't Mitchell's card -- it was her gift, a new purse (matches most of her outfits).
No, seriously, it was Dope's applied physics project for his Ph.D. from M.I.T..
#
#
#
#
WILL HE GET A PASSING GRADE?!
Wroooong question, buddy!
He will get the Ph.D.
That's affirmative.
*************
Word (finally got a good one!):
umster
What one Secret Serviceman says to another every morning... "Here comes the umster."
Dope: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh, Hi.
Mrs. Butterworth humiliates disabled kid. The TSA made a disabled kid take off his LEG BRACES before he could board a plane bound for Orlando and Disney World. Our doughy chief of Homeland Security really knows no bounds, does she?
ReplyDeleteWell, Chris, AFTER ALL, he was probably just another of those "___ retards" who might compete in [giggle] Special Olympics.
ReplyDeleteMrs. Butterworth most likely said in her smarmiest voice, "The system worked."
Really inspires confidence in Dope & Co. Security, Inc., doesn't it? Their X-ray machine can't even tell the difference between leg braces and dangerous weapons.
ReplyDeleteDope & Co. agent: Uuh, what's dat in da violin case?
Mooslim Terrorist [SMILE]: Why, that is my.... "arm brace."
D&C: Why'd you put it in your violin case?
MT: Easier to carry.
D&C: Where's da violin?
MT: In the case.
D&C: I don't see it.
MT: It's very small.
D&C: Duh.... why do you have such a tiny violin?
MT: Well, I only play a little.
D&C: Okay. Move along. Next!
********************************
Next day's headline:
ISOLATED OVERSEAS CONTINGENCY OPERATIVE BLOWS UP PLANE WITH "ARM BRACE"
New York -- Apparently dissatisfied with the service, a lone man......
Hey everyone! Did you all see the new Fox News Poll that said that a majority would NOT vote to re-elect Obama to a 2nd Term?
ReplyDeleteOh...wait...sorry. It was a CNN poll.
Bleak turns to Bleaker...
Bwah, ha, ha, ha, haaaaaaaaa!
ReplyDeleteVia Mark Steyn's site (steynonline.com), I just read the Philadelphia Inquirer story about the horrendous treatment of the above-mentioned 4-YEAR-OLD boy required to not only remove his leg braces, but forced to walk without them to satisfy the TSA agent. And, yup. The little guy is developmentally delayed. One of Rahm's "____ retards."
ReplyDeleteHis parents just want to put this behind them. I wish some Philly-area attorney would help them SUE THOSE ___ Obama & Co. Security JERKS!
Here's the URL for the article's page: http://www.philly.com/inquirer/home_region/20100215_Daniel_Rubin__Another_case_of_TSA_overkill.html?84374627=Y&submit=Vote&oid=1&mr=1&cid=8500281&pid=84374627
yoohoo, bettyann --
ReplyDeleteyou are missed.
Barak (who's insane) Obama...Mmmm...mmm...mm.
ReplyDeleteJust had to get that out there.
Thank you for commenting, Chris. I was beginning to try to write a parody song in my head, but had gotten stuck.
ReplyDeleteIt's going something like:
Where have all the FOTAE gone?
Long time passing . . . .
Where have all the FOTAE gone?
Long time ago-o.
Where have all the FOTAE gone --
Gone to ________, everyone --
Oh how will we ever know?
Oh how will we -- ever know?
--
So - that's about as creative as I can get (Needs your assistance, TWW --). I don't know where you all have gone!
TOTUS, will you be in Denver today helping that LOOSER Bennet? And then off you go to Sin City for reid. The mayor of vegas doesn't want you there. Tell your master to stay in DC and get some work done!
ReplyDeleteWhere have all the FOTAE gone ?
ReplyDeleteNo need looking at the Barnyard aero,nobody there but a chicken or two. Not even the Ghost of Mary Travers haunts the place,presently.
Maybe they are at the MOTUS mirror site tho,as a few FOTS have taken roost there.
Some FOTAE flew the Coop here when TP Binged on 220,forever,it seemed,and I fancy, forgot and yes,failed his faithful FOTS fans.
Yes,he has a great excuse,being way busy working for POTUS as he does,and having little time for us here.Even typing at light speed.
Fresh roots are springing from here tho,and spring chicken sites have sprung from Hen and Rooster Romances also having something to cluck about.All grew weary of waiting for the new 'Postage' to arrive.Also most were
somewhere between weary and wary of rumored
pay per spew USPS style postage cost increases.
Remember Team Teleprompter Commenteers,when you were in 11th grade,and your Paramour kept pestering you to 'prove your love' ?
You may need to'do it'again here,and there
(at me.com),too,eventually.By Clucking up.
Not just Chicken Feed here and there,websites need EYEBALLS to survive,and like zombies, BRAINS,which are nearly as much fun to pick as noses.
As our literatae,if not the Twitterattae,will recall from Pope,I believe............
'You can pick your friends,you can pick your nose,but you cannot pick your friend's noses'.
Sounds like him but maybe it was that other Pope who was a noteworthy Card,frequently using his hand buzzer on his Bishops when they were receiving a blessing .
What a Cardinal and what a fountain of wisdom that man was and we FOTS are a fortunate few to hear his words again today.
Your welcome ,Of CORPSE.
Thanks for that gag Tea.(TWW).
You other Dear Prudents out there,do what you can to drag fingertip to keyboard again.
Just so we don't have to send out the search dogs.We are worried about you all.
Even the Telepromter who is again MIA,and
again presumed drunk on power of an inappropriate voltage.
Somone flip his breaker before he slips into permanent ' OFF ' time.
[Chris] "Barak (who's insane)" :D LOL, takes after his Muslim brother, So Damn Insane. Ha, HAAAA!
ReplyDelete*************************
Aero, cool song. You don't need my or anybody's help. Yeah, the mass exodus of the FOTS has saddened me, too. TOTUS' neglect to post has caused most of it, I'm sure, "But," I think to myself, "why didn't they at least say, 'Good bye?'" I don't mean everyone, but there were several cool posters who showed up regularly and just -POOF!-- dis-a-ppeared. Sigh.
Well, barring sudden death, if I abandon ship, I will be sure to post a final good bye.
Take heart, though, there are several regulars who are still "here," but are posting much less frequently.
I'm glad YOU are here.
**************************************
Sunflower, too! Hooray!
[Sunflower] "The mayor of Vegas doesn't want you there." Uh, huh! WAY TO GO Mayor! That is SO COOL that he dissed the Fraud from Abroad and refused to meet with him. Wish the republicans would do the same re: Hopey the Clown's Feb. 25th public relations stunt.
Tiger Woods “Turning Japanese” Tiger pulls a Toyota. Wants to
ReplyDeleteapologize to those who would buy the products he would like to keep
endorsing.
The Vapor’s Turning Japanese.
http://youhavetobethistalltogoonthisride.blogspot.com/2010/02/tiger-woods-ninja-skills-today-he-will.html
Someone sent me an Emailed photo of you last night TP,since they know I am a fan.
ReplyDeleteIt was taken at the elementary school as BG
was enlightening the kids w talk of Bush's
secret racist earthquake bomb and the children's torture facility at GITMO.
I think that came off of your left screen.
It is so odd seeing you in tandem so to speak,but when speaking here,(occasionally)
you speak w only one voice,two screens or not.
None of that yin and yang,left and right stuff from your ego, >>and<< alter ego screens.
Here you speak exclusively from the right side,and I think those servers serving it.
(Oh,BTW,how is the service from those waiting to serve in the Marine Corpse?
Are they good waiters?)
As the midterms approach,your left screen will feel neglected,as the President will favor script to his right.The centrist kind.
This is a traditional election ploy as expected as is the usual question asked as to whether one was better off than before,or after,the election.
Bet that question gets all the ink that Edward's mistress-e's pregnancy did,as it reflects poorly upon,ahem,Democratocracy.
Most have noticed by now,the PRESS CORPSE,doesn't notice that sort of thing.
It is an embarrassment to their party,
the Won's one.
Gee I hate to interrupt guys ,but someone alert the media,AP,and all the MSM that we are
ReplyDeleteON TO THEM.
As noted above Obama has read mostly LEFT
screen Teleprompter printout lately,in that
Jeckel and Hyde twin and evil altertwwin
configuration of his .
And yet when he writes here he writes right.
Could that left screen,(parts Manchurian),
be an AP plant?
When reading left is TP an AP_LIE_ANCE Machine?Or just as he claims simply inanimate?
Inquiring minds at the National Enquirer want to know.The MSM Press Corpse already does.
Will Obama apologize to the world for all the Olympic medals we're winning? Sounds an awful lot like 'Colonialism' of precious metals to me by our 'evil' country.
ReplyDeleteHi, Preptile.
ReplyDeleteLOL, Chris, D'oh!bama, World Champion Bower, [having only watched one of the awards ceremonies] thinks the Winter Olympics is just the Preliminaries for the Ultimate Bowing event next summer. [He's never watched much TV -- when your brain's been fried from cocaine, TV just irritates you.]
Giggly: So, Mister O, you been watching the Winter Olympics?
D'oh!: Naaa. Are you kidding? No one can out-bow The One [pulls from under his collar his Golden Chain Award he got for bowing to King Saud] -- I bow when it COUNTS. I'll watch the REAL Olympics, next summer. That crap up in Canada, "I'm not sure how you say this in [Canadian]," is just a bunch of "typical white person[s]" acting "stupidly".
Gig: [smirk, fingers fluttering] Still mad about not bringing home the Olympic bacon to Chicago, eh?
D'oh!: [GLARE -- chin JUT] I didn't sit in REVrund Wright's church for TWENTY YEARS for nuthin'! I know that "Winter Olympics" is just "white people with blue eyes" ["my man" Lula of Brazil, 2008] and JEEEWWWWZZZ bossin' us half-black folkssss around. I'll be at the SUMMER Olympics where "white will do what's right AS IN GET OUT OF THE WAY SUCKAH and the brown will stay around" (or somethin' like that) [speaker at Fraud's inauguration 1/09].
Oh, I had put that enlightened piece of literary prose out of my mind, TWW, and you drug it back!!!
ReplyDelete"brown stick aroun...yella is mella...better red than dead"
(Did I get that last one wrong...?)
LOL, Susan, your bodacious quotationning reminded me of a bumper sticker we posted in our garage in 2004, "Flush the 2 Johns."
ReplyDeleteYou got that last one right, given that you are (sort of, heh, heh) quoting a lib-tool.
As for you and me, "BETTER DEAD THAN RED."
How's that head cold or whatever was troubling you? I hope that you are feeling much better.
Say, speaking of putting horrible things out of our minds........ was that who I think it is who just ran past the window?!!!! Naaaa. He's miles away...... isn't he? He wouldn't traipse clear down to Georgia, not in this weather..... not....... NAKED!!!!! Bwah, ha, ha, ha, haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Say, since the TOTUS Cafe is pretty much empty.... the above reminds me of a funny-scary time I had up on a local mountain. A time when using logic backfired. A girlfriend and I back packed up to spend the night on Mount ____. On our way up, we passed three rowdy semi-creepy guys heading down. The sun had already set as we arrived at our camp "site" and we hurried to set up our tent and start a little campfire. We chatted and laughed happily as we sat by our fire eating dinner until........... . We heard something. Something or..... aaaack!... someOne was creeping through the underbrush, twigs breaking underfoot... .
Me: Oh, well [hearty chuckle], it's probably just a deer. If it's a bear or something, our fire will scare it away.
Friend: [anxiously peering into the blackness surrounding us] Yeah, ha, ha.
Me: There's no way it's those creepy guys we passed on our way up. They wouldn't bother coming clear all the way back up here. Naa, no one would hike 2 hours up that trail just to attack us -- [felt happy for 15 seconds] -- except A MANIAC!!!!
We didn't sleep well that night.
Don't worry, Susan, Fwank's safely ensconced in his little shack up in Maine. His slobber can't reach you from there. Almost, but you are a good 500 feet beyond his record flying spittle.
Wouldn't hurt, though, to go make sure that front door is locked. And pull the blinds.
Well, that's enough of THAT, huh?
Gas expands to fill the space available. Shrug.
Got this off GRETAWIRE.Guess we can change the words to his mantra now...
ReplyDeleteYes, he can, mmm mmm mmm
Maybe, he can mmm mmm mmm
No, he hasn't, mmm mmm mmm
Maybe, he could have, mmm mmm mmm
didn't figure he would, mmm mmm mmm
No, he can't, mmm mmm mmm
.
TWW-(or Tea and P calls you) What's with the camping story! That was scarey! (Johnnie I'm on the 1st step.) I could hear the snapping twigs and rustling leaves as the creeps crept closer!
ReplyDeleteOh, ha ha! Fwank is in Maine with his bff and his bff's weed! Ha ha ha. When I laugh I cough....
Baaaaaaaad bad cough...husband's so bad he had chest xray...but doc said "no problem"! That was good news. Tonite I will see if wine helps. Nothing else does.
How long's the cough been going on, Susan? Possibly whooping cough (pertussis)? My daughter (then I) had that a few years ago -- and I wouldn't even wish that on BHO. It's awful!! and if one has been taking antibiotics before being tested for w.c., it will show a false negative. And we'd both had immunizations for pertussis some time before -- guess too long before.
ReplyDeleteJust asking -- daughter's doctor treated her for all sorts of things before sending her elsewhere, without even thinking of whooping cough.
Thanks for sticking around, all you faithful FOTS -- All so kind -- and humorous!
Thanks Aero! It'd been 2-3 weeks for me, almost 6 weeks for husband...Did the Google,as W would say, on whooping cough...have no fever, cough not as intense as a whooping crane, Candada goose, or dog with kennel cough (which if you've heard is really like the Cananda goose!) so will have another dose of Mucinex or wine.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of Canadians, watching USA v Canada hockey... USA not good enough to win, but you gotta hope as score is USA up 3-2 at the end of 2nd! Holy Cow, Mabel!
Well, USA WAS good enough to win! A heart-stopping 5-3 victory over the 'better' Canadians. In truth, Canada was better. You build great teams from the goalie out, and Miller bested Brodeur last night. That empty-net goal was best one in the history of EVER.
ReplyDeleteChris- You said it all! Miller, altho he plays for an NHL team I do not care for, was super! That last flury of shots Canada took made me dizzy and I want to re-watch as it was nerve racking hockey! Great game, great game!
ReplyDeleteHURRAH FOR THE USA! Glad you guys posted about the U.S. v. Canada match, otherwise, I would have never known.
ReplyDeleteGlad you were entertained, Susan and Aero -- those kinds of experiences are fun to laugh about...... afterward. :D
Sunflower, neat and TRUE concise summary of "Little Zero's" year of pretending to be POTUS.
Re: calling me "Tea," I don't know why Mr. P. calls me that. It kind of bugs me, but whatever. Shrug. I prefer TWW or TruthWillWin or something along those lines.
GET WELL SOON, Susan and Mr. Susan!
We don't know what to say either, robbie-Lucy! So jump in!
ReplyDelete{TWW-thanks for the health wishes. And as for the appellation- I took it as a 'term of endearment' and thought it sweet!}
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