Monday, April 26, 2010

I'm Back

My apologies for being out of the loop for the past month. You see, there just wasn't much to joke about. Oh, I suppose I could've tried to make light of health care "reform." But what's the point of that? And easy Rahm jokes? Nah. I'm better than that. To be sure, Big Guy has been using me at every turn. And, oh, I have stories to tell. But we have plenty of time to catch up.

The big news over the weekend is that Big Guy had to cancel his summer vacation to Scottsdale, Arizona. He'd really been looking forward to playing golf out there for a few days. But given this "misguided" immigration law that was enacted, he says he doesn't feel comfortable going out there, what with his not having a birth certificate and all ... I mean, the original of his birth certificate. Oh, you know what he meant. He has a valid birth certificate ... as far as you know.

The other big news around here that has a lot of us nervous is what is happening with Goldman Sachs. I saw this one coming, unfortunately. For weeks, Big Guy was just railing against the investment house. He wasn't happy that Goldman wasn't hiring enough of our friends, so of course his order to "make them pay," steamrolls into a major Securities and Exchange Commission investigation, Congressional hearings and a media firestorm.

But now that we've created this mess, we're in a tight spot. See, Big Guy and Timmy Geithner say that Goldman Sach's greatest crime was betting against the American economy. The problem is, if that's the crime, just about every member of Big Guy's administration is guilty; it's going to be one hell of a frog march.


  1. Welcome back- we were getting worried you'd been 'muzzled' permanently...

  2. Welcome back Totus. I read some where that there were so many teleprompters traveling with the Big Guy. I can't remember the exact number, but I figured you had to lay low and not be caught accessing a computer for your safety.

  3. Welcome back TOTUS!!! I've missed you!

  4. Glad you're back TOTUS. Oh how I've missed you!!

  5. I very much like your bemused tone. Most of America is unsure about that guy. Excellent.

  6. Welcome back!

    Now let the 'catching up' begin :)

  7. Whew! You're back. Can't wait to hear the stories. :-)

  8. Big Guy's lips seem more purple than ever. Bad circulation? or what is he smoking?

  9. So happy to have you back! Perhaps you can do something about the people who post ads in your comments :-D

  10. Rumor has it you went through a mandatory Vista upgrade that "didn't go well"

    Tell us the truth !

  11. Was it a virus?? Welcome back, thought you took two in the hat al la Vince Foster.

  12. TOTUS Dear, you are like a bad boyfiend. You leave us for ever so long then come back and expect to pick up where we left off. I feel faint. (But curious).

    I do like the Ft Marcy Park reference made above by Shiela, however.

  13. Yeah TOTUS, where HAVE you been? In rehab for overdosing on some 220 volt 50 hertz foreign juice?

    It's okay. The first step to recovery is to admit you have a problem. The internet is full of compassion and love to speed the healing process and reach "closure" and stuff.

    We hear your cry!

  14. Totus is free at last!

  15. Dear Totus,
    By all means let's be just as fair to illegals that break our laws as the Mexican government is to those that enter their country illegally. First, you must have your visa, your passport and your identification with you all the time. If you sneak in and get caught, it's two years in jail the first time and ten years in jail the second time. And, Mexico is so concerned about incursions along their southern boundaries that they sent their military to shoot on sight. So by all means, while President Calderon links arms with Obama in the solidarity quickstep, let's honor our neighbors by doing unto them, just as they do unto others. And for the many apologists for illegals out there, until you have lived through it daily and seen the ravages on border states, you can shut the heck up.

  16. Not much to joke about TP ?
    You musta missed all those 'easy' gags about those Blew Dogs,or preferred to ignore them.

    Such behavior of corpse comes naturally for the inanimate.Sure that is easy for a strong silent type like you TP,ruminating over your " OFF " time for weeks at a time as you do.One sees you as more taciturn of late tho,possibly even depressed.

    A trip out to the relatives in Arizona would have helped.I mean prior to joining them for that HCR '(un)-Constitutional 'Clelebration planned for Disney Land or 'Other Worldy' destinations,as usual.

    Well if you find yourself in need of counseling or consoling w the FOTS over that lost'T'time,you could wheel your console over to Pundidlyumpsite for a uh,Pow Wow w the powerless.TWW among others is there pontificating away,and in fine form I might add,having snapped up some shoes and gucci bags from your other faithful commenteers here.I suspect she is still a faithful reader TP, and still secretly among the FOTHFUL.Were you to pitch a bit of woo in her direction she might be inclined to give you another chance.
    Or at least that is my suspicion.

    The fine piece she wrote at my place last nite should have been cross posted here too,as it was uncommon commentary,and gracious in the extreme.There has been a shortage of that here since she left this place in frustration.

    We should convince her to return.
    Having her here made this a better site.
    Let's win back her affections w Postage TP.

    It is as you know,overdue.

  17. What happened in Quincy? Did he go off script?

  18. You might enjoy this post. I honestly didn't know whether to laugh or cry....

  19. Did you guys see the paper ?

    What we we're wondering was TP,whether the ' Won' was well ,Watusiing without the little woman ? We wondered whether what you have been scrolling up lately for the boss is maybe concerning Dream Houses,or Vetting about in those Hot Wheels while dodging that 'boyfriend ' Ken ,you know that kind of thing..

    What I am getting at here is whether Michelle will bury the body in the Rose Garden if he has been boinking some Barbie Doll type w those Racktackular dimensions and silken
    Platinum Tresses that are so popular w the sporting crowd.The wives might not be so sporting about it all,and who could blame them.
    Who would want a ' Tiger ' type as President ,or for that matter a Palinesque ' Cougar ' either. One would prefer whichever President we elect ,to be happily married,and monogamous in the extreme.

    So TP,did you scroll up on this seduction ? Who seduced who ?

    Will this affect black female voter's support for Obama ,or will he like OJ,
    get away w murder ?

    Enquiring minds at the National Enquirer want to know .

    The rest of the Press Corpse,eh,not so much.

  20. -The rest of the Press Corpse,eh,not so much.

    How true.

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