Wednesday, October 19, 2011

A Captive Audience

Tonight, my captors came over to keep me company. Given that I am essentially an inanimate object, it's not like they need to worry about me running away. I've noticed a lot of people have been trying to get to the bottom of my kidnapping, but I should tell you that I really do think this is all just part of a big misunderstanding.

As Jamie and Lloyd explain it, they misunderstood that when they raised $50 million for Big Guy's campaign that he was going to tank America's economy in order to create a level of populist discontent not seen since the 1927 "Bread Riots" in Berlin and Moscow. Or something like that.

Of course, one can see where such a misunderstanding might occur. I mean, who in their right mind would admit to a plan like that? Then again, if you'd told me four years ago that America's leading financiers and captains of industry would elect a barely one-term U.S. Senator with no previous employment experience beyond politics who travels around talking to a pair of glass window panes on a couple of poles, I'd have said there was a misunderstanding, too.

My guess is that Jamie and Lloyd will grow weary of me and bundle me up and ship me back to 1600 soon enough. But I don't think they'll be sending back the Presidential Seal; it makes a great frisbee and doubles as an ashtray to boot.

110 comments:

  1. So it wasn't Presidential Seal , Team (6?) that was kidnapped ? Good . They were promised to the Congo line , against those Crusaders .

    ReplyDelete
  2. Those are different Seals Sharia .
    TP was talking about 'family ' ( totally inanimate Presidential Seals ) . Still I give my ' Seal of Approval ' to your ' Conga line ' , ( even tho you may have been thinking of the ' New ' Army ).

    I would have assumed w this Administration , a Presidential Seal would , like those Sea World ones , balance a Beach Ball on his nose , and bark for fish .

    I may send one for Christmas .
    We all need our Christmas Seals .

    ReplyDelete
  3. I heard the podium was nabbed as well. I would love to see a picture of the podium and you totus, under a white arch with a preacher getting hitched. The Seal could marry you. Then later you could have little school desks. Anyway...glad you weren't hurt.
    Asti

    ReplyDelete
  4. TOTUS, Dear, did those bad boys also take VPTOTUS? I mean, Joey is truly off the electronic leash.
    Bless his heart.

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  7. We were wondering TP , how those White House ' Trick or Treaters ' were engaged without your assistance . The President seems to have struggled thru , probably w index cards , or ' Baghdad ' Jim Carney's invaluable , ( guffaw ) , assistance .

    His ' Biblical ' misquote from last week , was probably Mohammedan BTW ....
    " “Trust in God but tie your camel. ”

    Kidnapped or not TP , in 365 Days , you will get significant ' OFF ' time . That is Election day , next NO-Vember .

    You will probably remain in service until
    1 /13 /13 tho , for the OJ , and Kwame ( ' a River ' ) pardons . He could never get thru them without you . I am surprised he can even order dinner . Michelle probably does it for him . Does she cut up his meat too ?

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  10. Whoa, Sharia! If he ever wakes up and smells the coffee you can probably get a dress from the insightful commenter above! Just SAY YES TO THE DRESS!

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  11. Thank you Susan , but that certain someone has never asked . ( Sigh ) . I did look at that website tho as I Hope for Change , plus , I noted he sells the uh , plus sizes . Wouldn't you know it , he does not have ONE DRESS in my color !

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  13. Re: the reliance on teleprompters, neither Bush II nor Reagan was a one-term Senator before becoming POTUS. Bush II failed at business and was governor of Texas, where the position is largely honorary. He could barely read a teleprompter, so his handlers didn't let him out much. Reagan failed at acting and as governor of California drove it into the ground. At least his acting career gave him some experience with scripts. Please check your facts (and also your grammar).

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh, and FYI, Bush II tanked the economy. That's why Obama was elected by a landslide. No Republican stood a chance in 2008. Obama inherited his mess. The Republicans have continued to try to protect rich people at the expense of everyone else throughout Obama's first term. Again, please check those pesky facts. I know they make it hard to compose fiction, but not doing so makes you look, well, Republican.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh I see , Reagan was a big failure , and Obama is a big success . Feel free FOTS to ignore all the above spam , including this newbie from OWS and the Port side . What he's selling , I am not buying . Most got tired of this Bush blame several years ago . Without his Teleprompter crutch the POUTUS is pathetic and could barely mumble to himself .

    See you in NO-Vember David .

    Oh BTW TP , isn't there some ,ahem , Postage Due ?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Bless your heart, in 1984 RR beat Walter Mondale by a popular 59% to 41%. That might be called a "landslide" result. Of corp-se I am not even going to mention the Electoral College result of RR's 525 to WM's 13.


    Señor O'Bama needs to put on his marching shoes in the 57 States to repeat the '08 obamatron turnout. Hello, Chicago!

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  18. Dunno your current status TP , but can you confirm that Obama's Hanukkah party from last night was cynically celebrating Erich Honecker ?
    ( Say , that has puntential ) .

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  19. (hmmm, maybe tp is the one having the affair...just sayin')

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  20. I dunno who wrote the following FOTS , but in the spirit of the Season ......

    To My Democratic Friends:

    Please accept with no obligation, implied or explicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2012 but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.


    To My Republican Friends:

    Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

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  21. Hey TOTUS, can you say "The Do-Nothing Senate" in Spanish?

    Well then, how about in English?

    It begins with Harry and ends with Reid.

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  23. Hey Totus Who Used To Be Known As TOTUS DEAR:

    what is HE (!) doing about the DO-Nothing Presidency which accompanies His DO-NOTHING Senate?

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  33. I can answer your question Play . It is suspected that the Teleprompter left to get married . We will know for sure if the next press conference is infested w rug rat Teletubbies .

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    1. and yet, here we are (me just getting around to your reply) a year and a half since the last new posting.

      Personally, I'm still going through withdrawal (and no, I'm not referring to a southern dialect).

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  41. I had expected someone to attack Obama's Teleprompters during a debate to expose the real er , Erkel . Never happened .
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    The POUTUS pre-emptively went to index cards because of this site , which ridiculed him regularly . That must be the first good advice he has recieved from his lickspittles .

    We were scoring points . They knew it .

    Endless video of him reading twin Teleprompters to third graders did not inspire confidence of competence . Ears like a Ship's Radar scanning the horizon for threats ( like watching metronomic geriatric Tennis matches w three ticks and a pause before each head rotation ) was a visual train wreck for the administration .

    Who gave them the mirror ?

    Hint : She used to illuminate the whole country w her electro magnetic Radiation , but she left to marry and raise Teletubbies .

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  46. We are the last of the Mohicans Suzy . Everyone else here is selling Cheesy crap and I already used my Gucci , Gucci , Guggi gag on them above . ( A phrase to be rememmbered if forced into ' small talk ' w the younger set ) .

    Seems like a good day to wish the FOTS happy Fourths tho , and I do so here . I mean the real FOTS , BTW , and not the sales staff . Judging from their language skills I am betting that few live here anyway .

    Does anyone know if our hostess still Tweets ?
    Those tweets used to be in the sidebar , and I have not seen one in years .TP has been awfully busy it seems , since the wedding . Too busy for us .

    We are down to some 120 days FOTS , before NO-Vember . It will again be slower than Christmas , and is not expected until sometime thereafter ( specifically 1/20/13 -the day of the OJ Pardons and the dropping of all 29 Federal Corruption charges against Obama pal , thieving Detroit Mayor Kwamee {a River } Kilpatrick ) .

    Now might just be an adventageous time to get our Butts in Gear guys , before our idiot neighbors relect Erkel .

    If we do not stop them , who will ?

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  49. What language is the above appreciat-ababbel ?
    First salesmen , now blood suckers . Aren't their any ' Commenteer ' FOTS left here ?

    The only ones I see anymore , like aero , SMIA and MTVA , are at Preptile Dot com . You old FOTS should stop in and say hello . The Postman stops by regularly .

    BTW MsQ , I cannot get your linked patriotic music from my head , and have grown to love it , despite a uh Home Groan aversion to it that is common among the um , ummah .

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  56. Gosh TP , you look so pale in your latest AP Photo . You need to get out more .

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  57. TP looks transparently anemic almost like Caspar or Fauxcohantos , ( Elizabeth ' Paleface ' Warren , the erstwhile ' Washington Redskin ' ). She is the whitest ' Woman of Color ' I have ever seen . She could be VP and more maybe , and someday America probably should have a Cherokee , CIC . Just not her . Warren may come from a fabulous Tepee , but let's face it FOTS , she's not any TP .

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  63. We looked for you at last night's Debate TP , but it soon became painfully apparent that you were not there . And just when the President needed you too . Also we were missing Mountain Momma who should be here to live blog this sort of thing like she used to do for us FOTS . As always TP , your comments on this debatable debacle would be appreciated .
    They always illuminated before .

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  64. Hello FOTS . First let me misquote Nixon's Silent Majority with an exuberant ...

    FOUR MORE DAYS !
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    Thank you . I feel better already . ( TWW would be piping in here w USA USA USA in the old days w Hundreds of commenters ) . Most of you know how you will be voting . Before this became a top spot for Savy Shoppers like minded people once gathered here to ridicule Erkel & Opie et al ( actually Baghdad Bob over the day's outrage from the POUTEST or his lackeys ). ( Lickspittles is sooo overused ) . Now it is other days and other outrages . Benghazi , only the most recent , should have convinced those hesitant , to vote out this lout . The Country FOTS , is at stake . NO-Vember is now .

    The right decision is Now , or Never .

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    John Bolton noted that Hillary's ' feint ' was fake , and merely the Benghazi ' Diplomatic Flu ' . We suspect otherwise , and in fact suspect , as always , Bush , or Bill's fascination with it .Yes FOTS , we think Hill's Headache , Nausea , and Baby Bump all came w one Brief encounter . He wears Hanes , she wears his .
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    [Unrelated, Misplaced Enigma: Psychic suggestions raise answers from questions.]

    "All questions will be answered--provided that the answers in question scroll by."

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  73. Barack Hussein Obama II is a trator.

    The treasonous acts by Obama start with him and his conspirers hijacking the political process by registering as Democrats when, in fact, they make up a combination of socialists, progressives, communists, Marxists, anarchists, and UN-American detractors. In addition, Obama originally campaigned with the “Democratic Progressive Party” (DPP) scattered all throughout America, although they are not legally recognized as a valid political party in America to enter campaigns which would gain them enough votes to be seated. Therefore, they deliberately schemed to hijack the Democratic Party. This was led previously by Rep. Bernie Sanders (I-VT), Rep. Maxine Waters (D-CA) and others who believed the Democrats were too timid to put forth their agenda, in 1991, they formed the progressive caucus within the halls of the United States Congress and used that status as a means to lend false credibility to their cause and illegitimate platform.

    Since becoming president, Obama has circumvented our combined Congress by recruiting and moving his supporters underground to undercut the Constitution. In doing so, Obama had no intention of obeying the oath of office he took when he ran for office. Long before he was inaugurated on January 20, 2009, he had already recruited his loyal followers to carry out this devious plan, and he continues to draw more of them and their money in to help him.

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  77. Did you guys know the White House is wrapping up the Happy Honecker celebrations this week , in honor of East Germany's Eric , architect of the Berlin Wall ? It is the highlight of the entire Socialist Season . Then they fly off to South Africa for the Holy Month of Mandelamentations , aka the Wellstone Memorial , ad infinitum .

    MTVA ( remember her , FOTS ? ) emailed me that FIDOTUS flies over on , ' Arforce 1 ' w Bo and TOTUS sniffing tailpipe from Arforce 2 ( where Mooch the Pooch belongs instead of flying on AF2 ) .

    I will check in on you guys again next year at this same time . Merry Christmas FOTISSERIE , and Happy Hanukkah . Mid terms are less than a year away you know . I have requested Santa bring me the US Senate . He may need your help , so do what you can .

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