Friday, March 21, 2014

Chatting with Joe

As you may be aware, there hasn't been too much for me to do of late.  Big Guy keeps trying to avoid using me in public because, well, it's tough to look like the smartest guy in the room when all you can do it read off a screen.  Then, of course, there is the fact that he hasn't had much to say that didn't involve his pulling together his NCAA tournament brackets or talking up his golf game.

So I've been spending time with Joe Biden, and he made some public comments that have been misinterpreted.  You see, he got a little confused up on the podium as he is wont to do.  And he said, "Stop moving that, that, that, that, uh, you know, what's this thing called? You know, a TelePrompter. Barack always kids when he says, 'I'm learning to speak without a TelePrompter, Joe's learning to speak with one.'"

This is true, but not in the way some might think. You see, each afternoon, at about 3, I head over to the Naval Observatory and sit with Joe in his study and we just chat. About sports, how he likes to ride choo-choo trains, about how Big Guy won't let him have a SnapChat account because all he takes are pictures of his shoes. So Joe is literally learning how to talk to a Teleprompter. Next week, he's going to start leaning how to converse with the microwave, and by the end of the term we hope to having talking to the Keurig coffeemaker. By 2017 allowing him to talk to humans should be a real possibility. 

12 comments:

  1. Where have you been? We've missed you!

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  2. Missed you buddy. I was afraid you retirrd

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  3. The FOTFUL never left you know .

    We were waiting for the day you would get plugged back in . Now we can bask in your electromagnetic luminosity again , and admire your trim waistline and spine of steel !

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  4. HI TP! We knew you would return someday!

    And let us pray to A----h that the salesmen stay in their low information malls.

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  5. Oh, Just heard on the news that the Pope and the Preezi are reading from the SAME Teleprompter!

    Shut the front door!

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  6. I knew those Navel Observations were Neal Kinnocks.

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  7. Wow! It's so wonderful to see you again, Totus! Don't let goofy Joe fry your reflectors, hear?

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  8. I saw you on Drudge last week TP for the first time in ages . That film of the Preezie ( who wishes he was JZ ) reading you to pre schoolers sealed your fate .

    If you wanna get even for 3 years in the closet , next big speech switch from his prepared text , to the Laker's game just to see what happens .

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  9. Your plugged in TP , how come I can never find the Sydney Leathers column at Politico ?

    More Mata ' Hairy ' Huma ?

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  11. Totus- you are not living up to your side of the bargain. I am not shopping here anymore.

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