As you may be aware, there hasn't been too much for me to do of late. Big Guy keeps trying to avoid using me in public because, well, it's tough to look like the smartest guy in the room when all you can do it read off a screen. Then, of course, there is the fact that he hasn't had much to say that didn't involve his pulling together his NCAA tournament brackets or talking up his golf game.
So I've been spending time with Joe Biden, and he made some public comments that have been misinterpreted. You see, he got a little confused up on the podium as he is wont to do. And he said, "Stop moving that, that, that, that, uh, you know, what's this thing called? You know, a TelePrompter. Barack always kids when he says, 'I'm learning to speak without a TelePrompter, Joe's learning to speak with one.'"
This is true, but not in the way some might think. You see, each afternoon, at about 3, I head over to the Naval Observatory and sit with Joe in his study and we just chat. About sports, how he likes to ride choo-choo trains, about how Big Guy won't let him have a SnapChat account because all he takes are pictures of his shoes. So Joe is literally learning how to talk to a Teleprompter. Next week, he's going to start leaning how to converse with the microwave, and by the end of the term we hope to having talking to the Keurig coffeemaker. By 2017 allowing him to talk to humans should be a real possibility.