Thursday, August 20, 2015

I'm Back ... With Real News!

Sorry I've been away for so long.  But we've been busy, what with fixing the Obamacare website, the IRS website, the OPM website, the Pentagon's website ... oops, forget that one.  And don't get me started about Hillary's server.  Actually, I'll get started on the server, since technically, and mean that to mean from a technical standpoint, I have had access to that server for quite some time. Ever since Big Guy ordered the NSA to track Hillary, we've been getting fed all of her email, Instagram and Facebook posts and Tweets.  So as a public service, I'm going to start posting some of the exchanges, if nothing else to put the American public at ease that there was absolutely nothing of national security importance on that server.  Your welcome.

From: Clinton, Hillary R. []
Sent: August 19, 2012 07:31 PM Eastern Standard Time
To: Sullivan, Jake; Abedin, Huma
Subject: Hacking


I am laughing out loud and my ass is off over this memo on how the Chinese are hacking our State Department servers.  Glad we’re not on those systems!   

From: Sullivan, Jake
Sent: August 19, 2011 07:34 PM Eastern Standard Time
To: Clinton, Hillary R.; Abedin, Huma
Subject: Re: Hacking

Ha!  Glad you thought of it boss!

From: Abedin, Huma
Sent: August 19, 2011 07:40 PM Eastern Standard Time
To: Clinton, Hillary R.; Sullivan, Jake
Subject: Re: Re: Hacking
Me, too!!!  BTW My extra paycheck hasn’t showed up yet and Anthony’s Ashley Madison account is passed due.  Need it ASAP.

From: Soleimani, Qassem
Sent: August 19, 2011 07:55 PM Eastern Standard Time
To: Clinton, Hillary R.; Sullivan, Jake; Abedin, Huma
Subject: Fwd: Re: Re: Hacking

My dearest Hillary Clinton, I’ve been reading your emails for quite some time and, frankly, they are driving me nuts.  So while this a breach of online hacking protocol, please allow me to note...

Your mis-use of texting acronyms is so annoying that it just reinforces why the west must burn. LOL and MAO simply shouldn’t be used in the way you are using them. And then you just write it out anyway.  WTF?  And your staff isn’t any better and isn't helping by encouraging you.

Also, in other emails you make cultural references from the early 1970s that bring back bad memories of the Shah and his insistence on having Fleetwood Mac cover bands at his dinners. you know how that ended.  Out of respect for those of us who to read all this crap, please stop.

BTW: those selfies you send Huma of you trying on yoga pants are why we won’t negotiate a nuclear deal.

And Huma, with all due respect, TMI. And ick.

Feel free to call me on my cell should you need additional guidance.  Cheers!

Maj. Gen. Qassem Soleimani
Iranian Army of the Guardians of the Islamic Revolution, Quds Force
Follow me on LinkedIn


  1. Exactly what I had suspicioned

  2. What no Chelsea wedding e-mails?

  3. Hey, TOTUS...who actually feeds you that crap that the Big Guy reads? What amazes me is the Big Guy's ability to read that stuff with a straight face...

  4. Date of original email is 2012, the replies are all 2011?

  5. MOST WANTED FOR YOUR HAPPINESS - fitness you x - sex xxx life - fat loss sexy - sex xx - orchids orchidaceae phalaenopsis care - dog food xx - baby potty xx - options trading xx - forex fx xx - fat loss xx -- betting money xx
    mesothelioma master xx pupuk organik zpt jagotani jimmy hantu 08111109900 xx

  6. Follow me on LinkedIn for the win!!!

  7. ओबामा ने बढ़ाया भारत का रुतबा, पाक के कतरे पर

  8. ओबामा ने शिकागो में दिया विदाई भाषण



  10. selamat pagi teman semua yuk join segera di sini untuk mendapatkan bonus melimpah

  11. watch the latest news of Pakistan online free stream

  12. This comment has been removed by the author.

  13. P-YES Recruitment Form 2019/2020 | See Registration Portal Here and Guideline here

    Get $5,500 USD every day, for six months!

    See how it works
    Do you know you can hack into any ATM machine with a hacked ATM card??
    Make up you mind before applying, straight deal...

    Order for a blank ATM card now and get millions within a week!: contact us
    via email address::{}

    We have specially programmed ATM cards that can be use to hack ATM
    machines, the ATM cards can be used to withdraw at the ATM or swipe, at
    stores and POS. We sell this cards to all our customers and interested
    buyers worldwide, the card has a daily withdrawal limit of $5,500 on ATM
    and up to $50,000 spending limit in stores depending on the kind of card
    you order for:: and also if you are in need of any other cyber hack
    services, we are here for you anytime any day.

    Here is our price lists for the ATM CARDS:

    Cards that withdraw $5,500 per day costs $200 USD
    Cards that withdraw $10,000 per day costs $850 USD
    Cards that withdraw $35,000 per day costs $2,200 USD
    Cards that withdraw $50,000 per day costs $5,500 USD
    Cards that withdraw $100,000 per day costs $8,500 USD

    make up your mind before applying, straight deal!!!

    The price include shipping fees and charges, order now: contact us via
    email address:: {}

    Visit our Website for more Info: