Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I'm Back. Recharged. Ready for Tomorrow Night

Wow. Is it only 2010? Given the mood around here in the Oval, you would've thought we'd already seen the outcome of the mid-term elections.

As you can probably guess, since the holidays, we've all been hunkered down here. Big Guy and Toes didn't take kindly to the way we were treated up in New Jersey and in Virginia with those states races. And now we've got some guy from Massachusetts double parking his truck infront of the White House so Big O's agenda can't get moving.

Well, all of that is going to change tomorrow night. Big Guy and I have been working tirelessly for the past three weeks with world-renowned film director, lovable character actor and speechwriter Jon Favreau on the State of the Union address, and it's a doozey.

For example, Big Guy spent a lot of time working on this new middle class tax cut plan he'll roll out tomorrow. He and Timmy Geithner and Biden worked for days trying to figure out the best policy approach. Big Guy wanted to cut taxes 10 percent. Biden said that wasn't enough for blue collar folk, and said 20 percent. Timmy tried to split the baby and go with 15 percent.

In the end, all of the proposals just seemed unworkable to Big Guy, not because he's a socialist or anything, but because he realized to cut taxes, you actually have to have people making enough money to pay taxes.


  1. Welcome back! We are waiting for what you have in store.

    John's Space

  2. Totus -

    Welcome Back! Great job on your performance at the elementary school the other day!

  3. TOTUS! Make him say "underwear" during his speech or how about "I lied. Wilson was right."

  4. You were great with the kids! I think you should tickle BO every time he says "duty" becuase it sounds like "dooty" because that's what his speech will be (no offense).

  5. Glad to hear you are well, TOTUS. Obama is nothing without you. Wait. He's not much with you. No offense.

  6. Out of curiousity, whose idea was it take you to the 6th grade class the other day? No offense buddy, but what kind of leader can't speak to 6th graders without a teleprompter?

  7. "to cut taxes, you actually have to have people making enough money to pay taxes"

    OMG, is this a new relevation to our fearless leader? Maybe he discovered this when he gave his speech from your amazing memory to the 6th graders? Was there a Q&A session from the students so he could learn something?

    My mind boggles with the possibilities....

  8. I'm surprised you have enough energy after the Laker's gathering - all the whoopla with the Kobe crowd and stuff...

  9. Nice feature on The Daily Show!

  10. TOTUS:
    We thought you were dead. What a revelation about the taxes! I mean, tax payors paying taxes so that the governamnt works is probably a new idea to gobbern-ment payees and all that, but thank GOD you are alive. We thought that you had gotten sucked up in the void that has been the excuse for JoeyB.

    What a relief. Hello.

    Sorry for the over exhuberance - but it was just htat martini hand. Oops.

  11. TOTUS:
    I was thinking that you are the typical 21st male offering communication at it's finest (typically male=easiest) and have thereby become an 21st century jerk of the first order - the guy who is talked to who never responds until he thinks the coast is clear.

    All you male FOTae jump in right now so I can whip your asses. But as far as I can see? you are a girl's silent rock. The guy in the movies the know it all dumb ass who doesn't know shit.

    TOTUS just had better show up here with a better tough guy rhetoric. Because he's the biggest puss on the block, right now.


    "......And he could have been a part of history. Instead, shame his poor unbeknowenst Mother: tell that Atari bitch, that her son was MEDIOCRE."

    And that's all I have to say to TOTUS; one compropmising son of a STAR FIGHTER, who let a perfect opportunity go by. Because he could. I'll apologize when TOTUS starts posting a few times a week. Hurry up. Kootie Guy. Your mother put the DOS in prompt. Fess up on the Big Guy dope.

  12. Well, well, welcome back TOTUS. I was beginning to despair. I hoped MeShill hadn't broken your lens with that tantrum over the MA situation. So looking forward to your inside version of what Mr. Charles Krauthammer today called "Obama's Three Card Monte" being prepared for tomorrow night.

    bettyann, I think you've had enough of those Martini's tonight, dear.

  13. Welcome back, tomorrow night should be interesting to say the least...

  14. Obama looks like he's watching a slow-motion tennis match with these teleprompters. That and the wagging finger and the incessant 'Let Me Be Clear's.' I refuse to watch.

  15. I'll also be among the many not watching the performance, someone else will have to count all the instances of Letmebeclear, Fight, Unprecedented, Middleclass, Mandate, TheAmericanPeople, etcetcetc...not to mention uh, er, ahhh, annnnnd & his snapping to & fro with Teleprompters.

    Bettyann, are there enough martinis in the world to make watching him bearable?!

    TWW, here's hoping you can make another good screenplay out of the Narcissist in Chief's latest I, Me and Mine fiasco...

    Good luck to all who possess enough fortitude to tune in and watch!

  16. Been hearing about different folks BG will plant in the galleries to give a shout out to during tonight's SPEECH.

    I wondered if he'd invite the Danish guy who took down the Panty-Bomber. He is an American Hero. Er, a hero to Americans, or Canadians, who might have been in the flight path of NW Flight 253.

  17. Tonight we will be watching reruns of "Bait Car" or "Trauma: ER" during the speech but will be recording it on u-verse so that tomorrow we can have fun editing it, fast forwarding, fast rewinding and finally erasing it as a cleansing exercise!

  18. Well you have a heck of a job tonight, TOTUS. Tell you what, later we can go slumming at Radio Shack or something... Or maybe you're gonna just wanna chill out for a while and cool your circuits.

  19. Your vacation plan must suck hind teat, TOTUS - he's kept you busier than a one-armed paper hanger - how DO you do it?!?

  20. Since the Scott Brown win I have not heard the phrase “Teabagger” being used by MSM Reporters. It’s not because those same Reporters weren’t relishing using it as an epithet for Average Everyday Americans. Their Corporate Masters called them off because of the Scott Brown win?

    I think tonight’s State of the Union Speech will have a strong Clintonian flavor.

    It’s NYT week at You Have To Be This Tall To Go On This Ride.

    Why does Maureen Dowd compare our President to Mr Spock?

    The State of the Union “Rescue, Restore, Rebuild. Mr Spock makes his move.

    “When the men on the chessboard
    Get up and tell you where to go”


  21. I'm glad you're back. I thought maybe they replaced you with a mac or something.

  22. Tonight's address should be titled "The State of The Teleprompter Address", since Big Guy has no message (or clues). He does however, have you! Nice to have you back TOTUS.

  23. Will the Teleprompter at least wear a tie tonight?

  24. TOTUS,
    So glad you're back. You know I've got to give you credit. I see that Pres.0 is now so dependent on you that he needs you to speak to grade schoolers and small groups of "consultants". Less than a year and you've got him eating out of your hand. I'm impressed.

  25. WB ! Thought you had been unplugged.

  26. [MTVA] (me, too): "I'll also be among the many not watching the performance, someone else will have to count all the [flies he catches with his bare hands - SNAP!]."

    Glad you're still here -- (and all the others -- IT'S SO COOL TO SEE EVERYONE cruise by the bus station and give a toot on the horn when TOTUS arrives back in town).


    LOLOLOL, Betty Ann. You go, girl! Moved, seconded, and ... CARRIED!

  27. Susan] "folks BG will plant in the galleries to give a shout out to during tonight's SPEECH."


    "Aaaaaand a shout out to Dr. Martin Luther King who taught me everything I know: Happy Birthday, yo!.....

    [aide whispers in O's ear]

    .... uuuuuh... Oh. [GRIN] He's, uh, passed on, yeah, sooooo........ Happy Birthday toooooo....... Martin Luther King, JUNIOR, yeah [GRIN]. Have a good one!"

  28. TOTUS LIVES! Welcome back :~)


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