Thursday, December 17, 2009

Copenhagen Here We Come

Big Guy and I are headed out this afternoon for Copenhagen, where we plan to make an impassioned speech about how hot it is, and who better than a guy who just emotes heat like no one else. Big Guy and I have been rehearsing this speech for more than two weeks, in part because since our health care bill is tanking, a global warming treaty is the only Winter Solstice gift we can give our friends in the progressive movement.

It's also important because, let's be honest, Big Guy has been getting a bit of a cold shoulder from some of our friends overseas, and we really need some love right now. Don't get me wrong; it's not like we care about Germany or Great Britain or France. I'm talking about our new friends, like China and India, the guys who have our money and our jobs.

Some of the White House guys like Toes and Gibbsy are concerned about Big Guy using me over in Copenhagen, in part because I have a high carbon footprint. You may not be aware of this, but my footprint is bigger than a 42-inch, high-definition flat screen TV. Rahm, is afraid they will hang my non-enviro-friendly reputation around Big Guy's neck, and criticize him.

Yeah, something tells me there are going to be bigger issues we're going to have to overcome a dubious global audience than lil ol me. Like, oh, this.


  1. Oh Happy Day! Our TOTUS has not deserted us forever! Welcome Back at long last, and Hello to all you loyal FOTs who have kept that tired old thread going while we were somewhat abandoned by our Beloved TOTUS...

    I wonder if The Copenhagen Crowd will applaud every word out of BO's purple lips, as they did for his dear brother Chavez....

  2. he has returned, wonderful, we were concerned that you were being replaced,

  3. Like I said...ever hopeful. Thanks for letting us know why you've been gone. I know it takes a lot of practice for BG to get it right...even with your expertise. For instance the comment the other day to the day laborers at Home Depot about the "sexy insulation"...pretty obvious that he tried to "go rogue" and came up with that all on his lonesome. Pretty pathetic when you have to round up little Guatemalans for an audience. He's beginning to look like a party desperate...and to think we have to dodge his blathering for 3 more years.

  4. Good luck, then! I noticed the health care thing hasn't been working to anyone's advantage lately... Hope you can bring Copenhagen peace when you two make your grand appearance there.

  5. Watch out for the protesters, they have been behaving very coldly towards new arrivals:

  6. Well w the weather in Hopenhagen TP,you should be grateful for your resistors.They will keep you toasty in that tundra.
    Two years running in Houston we have also battled snow drifts,the earliest ever in late fall.
    Gee,one would think O would know that since we get flurries once every 50 years here,
    selling GW instead of GWOT is not gonna
    fly in this,the home of the Ft Hoodlum.
    Most would happily have some more GWB tho.

    Our host has just broken right into our discussions,(like he was a regular or something)and taken the podium away,just when we were warming to awaiting our Christmas card from him,while grumbling.
    So he surprises us w a generosity of professional prose not seen here since his last confessional.
    Praise be,our Promptczar is BACK.

    Many Hens had just wandered away from our humble chicken coop here,and ended their lives tragically in the road.I have seen their bones on my evening constitutional.

    Everytime I see that Ambien Rooster commercial I am compelled to watch.Cackling all the while too,like some demonic Hennary Clinton.
    The strut in that commercial,the duty,concern,and the wanderlust,it is all there.Really it is all me too.

    Then,when I check back in on the Henhouse here,(after again crossing the road(?)),what do I find ?

    I'll tell you what.

    Yet ANOTHER Hen-Up,thats what.

    BA you are one hussy of a Hen for posting those photos.Cock a doodle doing on other issues as one does here,or your clucking about chirruns does not diminish the dastardly deception of you hiding behind that hennage.Not Nice.
    It is an N-appropriate avatar.

    Unplucked may have once been a fair description of you,way back when,when you,my favorite Hen,were but a spring chicken.
    Rather than that sort of tasty morsel as above,typically tenderized into strips today tho,one presumes upon discorporation you will be served up at one of those rubber chicken dinners sponsored by the PTA.I may just be scratching at the ground here but,I suspect a tough old bird lives under those oft ruffled feathers.OH,BTW,why is that human being in the Hen-up?Has no one told you about their institutionalized Henocide?

    Oh BTW Too.
    Welcome back boss.
    We were worried.

  7. Welcome back- Just remember, blame Bush and it's all good...

  8. Good to see you are alive and kickin' TOTUS. I'm sure you and the Big Guy have been very busy lately.

  9. TOTUS!
    I had a feeling you would show up today. Leaving the country always seems to make you feel feisty.

    The snow is a real nice touch, glad to see The Won is still like unto God. It just like totally sends the message that He is going to make everything all right again, like with snow and all that, save our melting planet, yada yada...did they think he was just any old schmoe? God, but he must get bored sometimes, having to constantly remind everyone of His Gift!

    I hope you put plenty of I's in the speech. I think the count was down to only 37 in the last one. Lots of personal pronouns, thats the ticket. Get the reverb in there, maybe have him refer to himself in the third person. Oh, and don't forget to remind him to bow.

  10. BTW, Preptile, I changed my avatar. The new one is a childhood photo.

  11. I was wondering where you went. Oh how he cannot save the world from Global Warming without you!

  12. welcome back, totus!! stay warm!!

    word that danish for the last of the beer?

  13. So President Obama gave a speech in Copenhagen.

    What do you read, my lord?

    Words, words, words.

    Hamlet, Act II, Scene 2

    Do we have a count on how many times he used the word "I" in his speech?

  14. Hoo-RAH! TOTUS, you are back! Watch out for all thwe loonies over there.

  15. Good Morning TOTUS:
    I trust your environmentally incorrect circuitry and state of the art, carbon emitting, heat inducing screens kept you warm all night. Try not ot run off with any hotties this time, you remember the hang overs in Rome!

  16. TOTUS the blogger may be back. But TOTUS appears to have left POTUS on his own earlier today for the copenhagen speech.

    POTUS looked like a pigeon picking at seed as he consulted his notes.

  17. Click Here for "shovel ready" Obama shirts, mugs, buttons, etc!

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  18. Ha! I knew he was out partying last night. It happens everytime. TOTUS, you animal.

  19. TP you must have been frozen solid even w that built in electric blanket.
    The one wasn't just pecking out his punctuations.
    Every hesitance in his delivery,(which one assumes we must attribute to a frozen screen
    like all of us have had),brought new doubts as to his emminince's imminent,er,emissions.

    Sorry Teleprompter,you musta been miserable.
    Wouldn't a pause and restart refresh your screen,and that Presidential pitch ?

    Did No one notice (N-appropriate again) how O sounded like a struggling seventh grader
    in a remedial reading class ?
    It was as if his white side interfered w his rhythm as this was no verbal tapdance.
    More a stunning stumble.Stupefying .

    It was still "Readership We Can Believe In'.
    He just wasn't reading it fast enough.

    That's my Teleprompter,pitching in.
    Even while away at work.

  20. As Rush pointed out, the god-like reverb was missing. He sounded like a bumbler.

    At this juncture, I go back to my Icarus metaphor for The Won. It is looking more and more like reality.

  21. I don't know what to say...TOTUS, Dear, but bless my heart, I will try.

    When I "heard" POTUS going rogue and spitting out some really junior high rhetoric I was sure we'd never hear from you again. But I looked up at the TV and sure enough there you were. And here you are!

    PS - Did you smell the sulpher? Or are you so close to it you don't notice it anymore!

  22. TOTUS where has thou been? Glad to hear your hard drive has not been compromised. I heard Big Guy's speech and apparently so did Hugo Chavez. Sorry for the job you do. Neither I or Chavez were impressed, but for different reasons. I don't blame you. Being a conservative teleprompter with a Marxist liberal is worse than Oscar and Felix getting along. EGAD!

  23. Janice I cout 6 "I"'s aand 2 "I'm"s guess that is 8 out of 951 words :P kind of a high count if you ask me. Good thing he was "pleased"

  24. Hey, Barry, HELLO! (:D)

    Say, did you used to run a place called "Barry's Used Cars?" That guy was fun.

    Welcome to FOTland. :S

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