Friday, October 9, 2009

That's Nobel-Prize Winning Teleprompter to You ...

Wow. What I can I say. Wow. I'm honored. Clearly Big Guy - who can't stop dancing on the bed up in the residence right now, by the way - won this award for his speeches. I mean, after nominating himself for the Nobel Prize for Peace two weeks after entering the office of the Presidency, let's face it, it isn't like he had anything to show for it.

He said if he'd known it was this easy to win a Nobel, he would have nominated himself for the Nobel Prize for Literature years ago for his 5th Grade essay on "Raisin the Sun" (of course, he would have had to share that prize with Billy Ayers). Or his yeast science project from 7th grade for the Nobel Prize for chemistry.

There's so much to do now before the awards ceremony in Oslo. I'm going to have to buy a white tie and tails, and really get a good, high-gloss screen polishing for the awards ceremony. Big Guy is hoping that after accepting the Nobel for peace, if he gives a really good speech, they'll give him a second Nobel for talking, because he's really earned that one.

Lady M is thrilled, because a check for $1.5 million comes with the medal. While Big Guy was hoping to use that check to break ground on his Presidential Library on the South Lawn of the White House (oops, did I just let that out of the bag?), Michelle says she wants to use that money to "stimulate the economy a little bit." That $1.5 million means they can actually go out on a date night and pay for it themselves instead of the taxpayers!

Of course, there are some hurt feelings around here this morning. Big Guy had the Secret Service up in Chappaqua check in on President Clinton to make sure his head hadn't exploded at about 4 am this morning. Al Gore apparently has locked himself in the closet again and they can't get him out. We're hearing there's this weird whirling sound down in Atlanta near Martin Luther King's grave. Joey B. seems kind of sulky during the morning briefing, because he assumed since his name was on the 2008 campaign bumper sticker, he should get half the prize, too. And apparently Poland and the Czech Republic just unitlaterally surrendered to Russia.

But there are some positive things coming out of this surprise award. Big Guy is actually thinking that now that he's won the Nobel, he might take a call from the Dalai Lama now that theDalai is his almost his equal. I say "almost" because, the Lama won his for bringing world attention to the plight of the Tibetan people. That's not quite as great an effort as the one Big Guy exerted to draw world attention to himself.


  1. I love a good laugh first thing in the morning. Thanks Totus!

  2. Great news! I hear that next week Obama wins the Cy Young award.

  3. I can't wait until he wins a special Oscar for Lifetime Achievement next week. Or an award for Best in Show at Krupps. Both would be as richly deserved and should be awarded immediately. He'll grow into them!

    If there was ever doubt that the "Nobel Prize" is meaningless (except as a red badge of incompetence), this was it.

  4. Only $1.5M ?? That's barely enough to buy MO another pair of shoes for her next homeless shelter appearance.

  5. Where's Kanye West when you need him?

  6. This has to be the worst April Fool's joke ever! Could someone please say it isn't so?

    I smell lutefisk!

    Growing up, I heard a lot of Norwegian jokes. Having a certain amount of Norse lineage, I used to get offended (racists). But in light of this charade, they all make more sense. Maybe it is because the Vikings are undefeated this year. There has to be some explanation, because Obama has done nothing to deserve this.

    Loved the Al Gore dig. He probably spewed carbon all over the Lear jet. I am guessing it sounded somewhat like the Swedish Chef during a temper tantrum.


    In reference to the troop packages, I was thinking travel sized toiletries would be helpful in the packages. I will start loading up for when it is my turn to send them. I have also heard that food items that require only water to make ready work well. It is kind of like back packing. You can pack a lot more if it does not have the weight of fluid.

    Once on a back packing trip I found a cast iron skillet had been stuffed in my gear. My Norwegian uncle had put it there. Today, I feel like he has crashed that skillet up side my head. Nobel Peace Prize?

    I can't wait to see my verification word.

  7. Amy,


    You are right. Where is Cognac West when you need him?

  8. Thanks for the laugh, Totus. I was a little depressed after hearing this, but your outlook on things has made my day!

  9. A Peas prize ?
    Where does one appply?
    Appeasement a prerequisite?
    Politics favoring 'pardon' for threatening genocide and such pushed?
    One might still sleep peacefully over this eventuality if not stirred to answer a siren's call to again ,pee.
    In this case by prosing the question :

    What price peas prize ?

    Our pride,that pound of flesh,seems high.

    I second the above VDH list,especially the part about WINNING wars.
    We wuss out instead.

  10. I think that TOTUS really deserves the prize! We are obviously in the twilight zone. I thought Al Gore's prize for his support for the global warming theory was a big farce. This really takes the cake since has done anything yet but not be George Bush. I guess that's the point.

    John's Space

  11. This is the equivalent of a 'Whack-a-Mole' prize with a Miss America bouquet of flowers to go with it. Hilarious.

  12. TOTUS is next in line for a prize -- the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction.


  13. TOTUS!

    You are brilliant! Certainly, you are the brains behind the man!

    When will you run for office? Seriously, who cares if your delivery is a little stiff? It's the brains that count, not the delivery!

    ...Oh that's right, this is America in the 21st century.

    Perhaps you can team up with Sarah Palin in 2012??? That way we can get brains and beauty in a candidate.

    Or, maybe we can just write you in.

  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

  15. TOTUS:
    Congratulations! This is exciting, The Messiah recognized as The Won by a global committee which rewards ass kissing!

    There will be no living with him now.

  16. This comment has been removed by the author.

  17. Thanks, TOTUS, you're brilliant!

    I've been commenting here and there that the prize is really for the wonderful speeches you're giving him to read, and that the prize should go to you, not to the guy who reads them aloud. That the prize is given for 'Peace', not for 'Speech', must be an error in transcription.

    Better luck next time. You deserve it.

    Oh. I should add that when a friend of mine skyped in the news this morning, I responded "Joke alert! :)" and went on with whatever I was doing at that time. Took some convincing to show me that he wasn't pulling a fast one on me.

  18. FOTs, I am too angry to repost what I did on the next thread, so I'll just write:
    Please check out the list at the bottom of the thread just previous to this one (I wrote it last night) regarding our sending FOTs packages to the troops.
    Love you, TOTUS. SORRY you have to be NEAR this fraud "president." I am RALPHING with this jerk daily....

  19. Oh dear, in my giddiness over the news I posted the wrong link. So sorry, here's the correct one.

    TOTUS! I'm thrilled for you! I will help you pick out the white tie and tails for the big event.

    Lady M and I will be out shopping with some of that "stimulus" prize any way, so no problem.

    And not to take anything away from your big day, but it's really a great day for me too, as you can see in my post Michelle! My Nobel!!!

  20. Oh. Now I got it. He gets it because today is the first time the US bombs something not on our planet. That's prizeworthy.

  21. Saw this on Drudge first thing this morning. Had to check the calendar to see if it was April First. Upon realizing that it was not a joke, the next thing to come to mind was, where in the world did they get all those horse's heads to put in the beds of the Nobel Prize Committee members?

    Poor horses.

  22. Totus how did you mix up "humbled" with "embarrassed" in the acknowledgment of the award this morning?

  23. Check The Alexandria Daily Poop article "an altogether fitting and proper award". Obama deserves this Nobel. Really. Seriously. Good for him. Bad for us.

  24. The Fickle Finger of Fate would have been a more deserving honor. Having said that, as I look at the list of also-rans and buffoons that have won the award in the past, I guess the Fickle Finger of Fate and the Nobel Peas Price are synonymous.

    2007 Albert Gore

    2002 Jimmy Carter (the worst President in far)

    2001 Kofi Annan

    1994 Yasser Arafat

    1977 Amnesty International

    1965 UNICEF

    1919 Woodrow Wilson (progressive)

    1906 Teddy Wilson (progressive)

    I am outraged! Where is Michael Moore. He would fit right in with this list.

  25. Yeah, the recipients of the Nobel Prize for Peace leave a lot to be desired!

    They pass over truly deserving candidates to give it to people like Jimmy Carter, Yasser Arafat, etc. BLEAH!

  26. Koffi Annan was a great recepient. That one really proved what a corrupt friend-helps-friend system this has devolved into.

  27. Yikes,

    Teddy Roosevelt...oh well Wilson,Roosevelt what's the difference.

  28. They were going to give the Nobel Peace Prize to Rush Limbaugh, but they were afraid he would use the prize money for Oxycontin and Twinkies.

  29. I found this great article:

    Let’s take a look at the president’s first 12 days in the White House according to his public schedule to see what he did to deserve a Nobel Peace Prize:

    January 20: Sworn in as president. Went to a parade. Partied.

    January 21: Asked bureaucrats to re-write guidelines for information requests. Held an “open house” party at the White House.

    January 22: Signed Executive Orders: Executive Branch workers to take ethics pledge; re-affirmed Army Field Manual techniques for interrogations; expressed desire to close Gitmo (how’s that working out?)

    January 23: Ordered the release of federal funding to pay for abortions in foreign countries. Lunch with Joe Biden; met with Tim Geithner.

    January 24: Budget meeting with economic team.

    January 25: Skipped church.

    January 26: Gave speech about jobs and energy. Met with Hillary Clinton. Attended Geithner's swearing in ceremony.

    January 27: Met with Republicans. Spoke at a clock tower in Ohio.

    January 28: Economic meetings in the morning, met with Defense secretary in the afternoon.

    January 29: Signed Ledbetter Bill overturning Supreme Court decision on lawsuits over wages. Party in the State Room. Met with Biden.

    January 30: Met economic advisers. Gave speech on Middle Class Working Families Task Force. Met with senior enlisted military officials.

    January 31: Took the day off.

    February 1: Skipped church. Threw a Super Bowl party.

    So there you have it. The short path to the Nobel Peace Prize: Party, go to meetings, skip church, release federal funding to pay for abortions in foreign countries, party some more.

    Good grief.

    By Tommy DeSeno

  30. bettyann,
    since there is a stranger present, I will post that info on the post that was waxed .....

  31. WE GOT WAXED post has the information.

    I was trying to be sneaky.

    So sneaky that I was the ONLY person who knew what I meant, LOL.

  32. Applause, applause! TOTUS. Well done!


    [Andrew Price] "the "Nobel Prize" is meaningless"

    That's affirmative.


    [Preptile] "Appeasement a prerequisite?"

    Yup. It's Appease Prize. :D


    Thanks for the list of horribles, Shovel. :S Utterly meaningless.


    Great article, Betty Ann. Oh, brother. So..... it's affirmative. We have the:

    Con Man in Chief, a.k.a.,

    Embarrassment in Chief, a.k.a.,

    Undocumented Alien in Chief, a.k.a.,

    Imposter in Chief, a.k.a.,

    Saud's Loyal Subject, a.k.a.,

    Dope... Wimp ..... Empty Suit..... Herr Hussein.... Pobre Ignoramus ..... Zero..... Leader of Cult of Obama..... Magic Negro [L. A. Times]..... Hopey the Clown.....

    ..... BLEEP!........ and..... BLEEP!

    Mmmmm, mmmm, mmmm.


    Peach "D'oh!" Obama could yank the gold medal from around Mark Phelps' neck, wear it around town, and feel good about himself. D'oh! could grab the tiara off Miss America's head and wear IT around town humming, "I Feel Pretty." Say............................ that's a great idea (inspired by Chris above)!

    Let's make Peach Obama the next [cue music]...... MISS AMERICA! "Here she comes....."

    And then, let's make him a NASCAR champion and the Heisman Trophy winner and give 'im an Oscar [AndrewP.] and the Pulitzer [Moogie] and the Betty Crocker Cook-off First Prize and make him winner of the Kentucky Derby and the A.K.C.'s Best in Show and......


    [Scene: Kohl's Department Store, Toy Department, 2007]

    Santa Saud: And what would you like Santa to bring you, little boy?

    Barry: Uuuuuuuh.......[no teleprompter that day]..... I wanna be the president of the United .... uuuuh....States..... aaaaaaan.... I wanna gold necklace aaaaaand.. publish a book .....ummm....aaaaan I wanna be on TV a lot....... aaaan.... I wanna be on TV some more an..... I wanna Nobel Prize in Medicine ---

    SS: -- how about Peace? Medicine's a little tough for Santa.....

    BS: [ANGRY look] -- weeeehhll... okay, but I wanna lotta money an I wanna fly my plane wherever I want to annnn I don't want nobody tellin' me what to do (especially that d--n Mitchell)..... aaaaan --

    SS: -- time's up. Santa's gotta take his break. Here, have these nifty balloon toys [a wiener dog and a giraffe, Betty Ann :D]. Now, get off my lap!

    BS: [tumbles to the floor, looks ANGRY] BUT SANTA!!!

    SS: Buzz off, Fly Boy.

    BS: BUT SANTA, [looks coy] I didn't tell you what I want to do to, er, I mean for Israel at Christmas.. er.. Hannukah. [GRIN].

    SS: [screeches to a halt, spins around and runs back to Barry eagerly] To... er, I mean... for Israel? Get back on my lap, son!!

    BS: [smirking] ..... an I wanna bunch of nuclear warheads so my best friend Acccchhhmahdimmahjahd can shoot 'em at those rotten Jews.

    SS: [smiling and nodding] You have asked wisely, my little friend. No...... hey, don't do that! (whispers) Don't bow to Santa. They only do that in Indonesia. And.... [walking away toward exit].... stop with the "Pahkeestahn" and "Tolleybahn." It makes you sound weird and [cough] kind of dumb. [hurries out the door and into limo at curb which peels out and zooms up the street just as Barry reaches for the limo's door handle.]

    Loud, "Ho! Ho! Ho!"'s heard as Saud's car disappears around the next corner.

    Barry stands pouting for a moment. Then, brightening, he pulls out the joint Santa gave him, lights up, and ..... giggles all the way home.

  33. Barack Hussein Obama
    He won a really big prize
    It doesn't matter what he did
    Or even if they are lies
    Barry S. Soetoro
    a truely amazing yoke
    bouncing from cloud to cloud
    yet it's all a cosmic joke

    from the New York Post..

  34. Just heard on CNN that BG won the Hot Dog Eating Contest!
    Mmmmm, mmmmm, mmmm.

  35. This blog is an insult to the truth. It cannot be denied that the world has entered a new golden era of economic and social justice. An era of peace led by and made possible by President Obama.

    President Obama is the son of Kings and Queens who ruled over the greatest civilizations in human history. The world waited a long time for the arrival of Obama. We did not always know what his name would be or what he would look like but we knew a son of Africa would return to restore light to the world.

    President Obama is of such character that always sees a task to it's completion. He has an extraordinary spirit of inquiry such that he will always find the most wise course of action. He loathes greed and hate and he treasures truth and justice.

    It is natural and is the destiny of historical truth that he leads us today. You fear the truth.

  36. Truth First, this blog is not an insult to the truth. It is an insult to President Barack Obama, who is descended from people who spent much of their time and effort enslaving people that looked just like them, for the purpose of selling them like cattle to other people.

    I wish that your posting was simply black humor, but I fear that it was written in earnest. Do you really think that President Obama has even the smallest amount of empathy for people of color? Do you really think that he cares for anyone other than himself? He has allowed himself to be perceived as good, kind, generous, merciful, and just, when he is actually none of those. He is a mean, petty tyrant, whose day in the sun will hopefully be short. It is a shame that he has deceived so many, and especially when he has pretended to give hope to some of the most disadvantaged citizens of our country.

    There are few words that can describe such treachery against those that perceive him as "one of theirs". He is no heir of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s, legacy. I would liken him more to an heir of Stalin's legacy. And, as Stalin did, he will turn against "his own" and hand them to the wolves without mercy.

    God help us all through these difficult times. The truth is cruel, sometimes.

  37. TruthFirst: ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!

    you poor thing, how long are you going to be confined to that Mental Institution?

    BHO is an EVIL, EVIL person; he's not evan man, so I won't dignigy him by calling him one.

    BHO himself is the insult, to AMERICA. The sooner we're rid of him and his cohorts, the better for all AMericans.

  38. Hey- Misters Truth First-

    Wanna a hot dog?
    Mmmmm, mmmmm, mmmm!

  39. This is for mr. 'truth first', although I believe that tf was just a "drive by" poster and won't be back for a dose of the REAL truth.

    Here is a dose of truth about the person you claim "loathes greed and hate and he treasures truth and justice".

    === Rezko and other Obama cronies financed Obama’s political career, contributing several hundred thousand dollars to his campaigns, while Obama helped funnel government subsidies to these Chicago slumlords to help them build low-income housing.

    So what did the Illinois taxpayers get out of these deals?

    * Allison Davis, Obama’s former law firm boss, built several slums which were famous for the chronic plumbing failures that caused sewage to back up into residents’ sinks. Obama actually wrote letters to city and state officials supporting a bid by Rezko and Davis to get $14.6 million from the taxpayers to fund housing for seniors.

    * Cecil Butler, another Obama donor, had one of his apartment complexes confiscated by the government when city inspectors found over 1,800 code violations.

    * Valerie Jarrett, an Obama fundraiser and advisor, was the chief executive of a company that managed a housing complex that became so run-down it was seized by the federal government. ===

    Its obvious that Obama wasn't looking out for the poor people who lived in those slums. He was looking out for the GREED of his cronies who contributed to his campaigns. Those poor people never got JUSTICE from Obama, SO, I doubt that they would agree with your claims about him.

  40. Congrats on your award, TOTUS! You deserve it for all of your great speeches!

  41. Excellent data once again, Jamie!

    Truth First,
    You've been DUPED, buddy!
    You don't know a THING about Barack Obama's past, since Obama has HIDDEN the details very carefully.
    Thankfully, witnesses who knew or studied with Barack know the TRUTH of what he was like. For example, people who went to Harvard with him KNOW that Obama was very secretive about himself and his family.
    He's not brilliantly smart, either. He has never published ONE professional paper or book. All he's produced are two AUTOBIOGRAPHIES ----you know, about HIMSELF! Both of those books are rumored to have been ghost written (btw, that's how Kennedy produced "his" Pulitzer-prize-awarded book, "Profiles in Courage," too).
    Know what sort of values Obama's mother had? View (nude) pictures of her at the "Atlas Shrugged" website of Pamela Geller.
    Obama's mother had a LONG affair with the man who took those photos, the well-known communist author, Frank Marshal Davis. He was a very close friend of Obama's grandparents (his Mom's parents).
    FW Davis wrote that he AND HIS WIFE TOGETHER started an affair with an "Anne," (Barack's mother's name), when "Anne" was only 12 years old! Can you spell, "pedophilia?"
    FW Davis was savvy enough, though, to wait to take (nude) PHOTOS of Baracks' mother/Anne, until she became of age.
    This FW Davis might be Obama's father, some say, but I think Obama's head shape and smile look like what's common in Kenya.
    But see? People don't know who is Obama's father, btw, because NO ONE in authority has seen Obama's detailed birth certificate from Hawaii. The only copy of his BC available is the NOT-detailed version, which doesn't list the hospital, etc., about a baby's birth.

    You've been DUPED, Truth First. Obama isn't ushering in a "golden era of economic and social justice" or "an era of peace." He doesn't give a hang about YOU or anyone else, for that matter; all that matters to him, is HIMSELF.

    As for your silly words, "President Obama is of such character that [he] always sees a task to it's [sic] completion"---->

    MANY liberals are fed up already with Barack, precisely BECAUSE he has NOT fulfilled many promises he made to liberals like yourself:

    - he hasn't closed Gitmo,
    - he hasn't ended either war (Iraq or Afgh.),
    - he hasn't invaded Pakistan,
    - he hasn't passed a health care bill,
    - he hasn't lowered the oceans,
    - he hasn't rid government of lobbyists,
    - he hasn't have ethical advisors,
    - he hasn't ended racism,
    - he is NOT bi-partisan, and
    - he has the LEAST open of all administrations!


    Steer clear of whatever has given you delusions.

  42. Janice! Most excellent SLAP-down! You go, girl!

    [Mrs.] "BHO himself is the insult, to AMERICA." Yes!! Nice one!

    More superb research, Miss Jamie! Well, waddaya know, Dope stinks!

    Right on, Mountain Mama!

    "Truth" 0 - FOTS 1000! FOTS win!

    Truth hurts. Bwah, ha, ha, haaaaaaaaa!

    This just in:

    Washington, D.C. -- Press Secretary Robert Gibbs was admitted to Bethesda Medical Center Friday morning. Gibbs had just finished reading a note handed to him while in the middle of a routine White House press conference. ".... Obama has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize," Gibbs read before bursting into uncontrollable giggling. He was quickly escorted from the room, apparently hysterical.

    Gibbs has been under the care of a physician for several months with a "nervous disorder," according to one high-placed source. "Guess this was the straw that broke the camel's back," one reporter was overheard to say after the incident.

  43. "...the world has entered a new golden era of economic and social justice. An era of peace led by and made possible by President Obama."

    Truth First:
    This is the United States of America. Here, we elect our officials, and they work for us - WE ARE THE PEOPLE. The are not born into some mystic revelation of justice, or ordained by some cosmic voodoo. If we don't like them, we fire them. Got that?

    Obama is a thief and a liar. He is no golden boy. He is a treasonous bastard who is betraying what our forefather's died to give us - freedom.

    All people came from africa. That's been genetically proven. How do you know that the original people were not white, and black skinned folk evolved afterward? You don't.

    You are a bigot and a fool. And your Magic Negro is a false messiah.

  44. And why not an academy award next up? Oh and STFU Betty Boob Ann

  45. He won it for getting rid of the worst administration (ever).

  46. President Obama rules with African wisdom that has been with us since the beginning of civilization. He is the son of Kings and Queens. We are living in a new era now. It is an era of hope, justice and peace. An era of social and economic justice. An era where the wicked are punished and the innocent are free from fear and injustice.

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