Wow. What I can I say. Wow. I'm honored. Clearly Big Guy - who can't stop dancing on the bed up in the residence right now, by the way - won this award for his speeches. I mean, after nominating himself for the Nobel Prize for Peace two weeks after entering the office of the Presidency, let's face it, it isn't like he had anything to show for it.
He said if he'd known it was this easy to win a Nobel, he would have nominated himself for the Nobel Prize for Literature years ago for his 5th Grade essay on "Raisin the Sun" (of course, he would have had to share that prize with Billy Ayers). Or his yeast science project from 7th grade for the Nobel Prize for chemistry.
There's so much to do now before the awards ceremony in Oslo. I'm going to have to buy a white tie and tails, and really get a good, high-gloss screen polishing for the awards ceremony. Big Guy is hoping that after accepting the Nobel for peace, if he gives a really good speech, they'll give him a second Nobel for talking, because he's really earned that one.
Lady M is thrilled, because a check for $1.5 million comes with the medal. While Big Guy was hoping to use that check to break ground on his Presidential Library on the South Lawn of the White House (oops, did I just let that out of the bag?), Michelle says she wants to use that money to "stimulate the economy a little bit." That $1.5 million means they can actually go out on a date night and pay for it themselves instead of the taxpayers!
Of course, there are some hurt feelings around here this morning. Big Guy had the Secret Service up in Chappaqua check in on President Clinton to make sure his head hadn't exploded at about 4 am this morning. Al Gore apparently has locked himself in the closet again and they can't get him out. We're hearing there's this weird whirling sound down in Atlanta near Martin Luther King's grave. Joey B. seems kind of sulky during the morning briefing, because he assumed since his name was on the 2008 campaign bumper sticker, he should get half the prize, too. And apparently Poland and the Czech Republic just unitlaterally surrendered to Russia.
But there are some positive things coming out of this surprise award. Big Guy is actually thinking that now that he's won the Nobel, he might take a call from the Dalai Lama now that theDalai is his almost his equal. I say "almost" because, the Lama won his for bringing world attention to the plight of the Tibetan people. That's not quite as great an effort as the one Big Guy exerted to draw world attention to himself.