Big Guy sat down briefly with German Chancellor Angela Merkel earlier today to discuss holding bilateral talks later this year.
It was a bit awkward. Merkel was embarrassed at the way we in the Obama campaign got tight with the Social Democrat Party during our presidential race, and how we used the SPDs to get our speaking gig in Berlin last summer. To make matters worse for us, it looks like Merkel is about to kick the SPD's heiny in the upcoming national elections, making the party we sucked up to inconsequential, and thus harming relations with our strongest ally on the continent. Oh, well, live and learn.
We understood the strained nature of the relationship before we went into the meeting, so we knew that we couldn't offer up Biden for the bi-lats, because, well, we all know how that would work out. So Secretary of State Dick Holbrooke and his aide, Hillary, suggested that Big Guy send Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi to lead the bilateral talks.
That idea didn't go over well, either. Merkel said the Italians have been sending their trash to Germany for years, and that Germany didn't the U.S. doing the same with our Italian tra-, er, leaders.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Tomorrow Is Today
Today is your tomorrow, but for me today is going to be another big day. We aren't giving away anymore i-Pods, but we will be doing a lot of talking at the G-20 and be in private meetings. Right now the plan is for us to be at the G-20 plenary sessions most of the day, and then Big Guy and I will break off for private meetings with the leaders of South Korea and India.
The rumor around here is that Rahm is flying in to join us before we head off the to continent. I'm actually looking forward to seeing him, because he's been bragging about knowing all the good clubs to hang out in in Prague, and he says the Czech women are remarkable.
It's not like I need him to spice up my social life, mind you. I did manage to spend some time with Sarkozy's promptaire, but I'm not sure we're compatible. I mean, we definitely aren't technologically compatible, you know, different voltages, different operating systems. But it's that American-French thing so many of us guys have run into; I know that she has an English mode, but she refused to switch over from French mode and just acted like she didn't understand a word I scrolled. Typical.
The rumor around here is that Rahm is flying in to join us before we head off the to continent. I'm actually looking forward to seeing him, because he's been bragging about knowing all the good clubs to hang out in in Prague, and he says the Czech women are remarkable.
It's not like I need him to spice up my social life, mind you. I did manage to spend some time with Sarkozy's promptaire, but I'm not sure we're compatible. I mean, we definitely aren't technologically compatible, you know, different voltages, different operating systems. But it's that American-French thing so many of us guys have run into; I know that she has an English mode, but she refused to switch over from French mode and just acted like she didn't understand a word I scrolled. Typical.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
About Those Gifts
I don't know why everyone is getting so annoyed about Big Guy's use of "England" instead of "Great Britain" during his remarks with British Prime Minister Gordon Brown. Like Big O said in the limo after his meeting with the man he affectionately calls, Gordo, it's not like they're an empire or anything anymore (but please note, if I had been running at that point, "Great Britain" would have been the word on the screen; I know these things).
The meeting with Brown, by the way, went phenomenally well. Big Guy gave him a DVD player that would play the DVDs that we gave him in Washington, DC a couple of weeks ago. As Gordo pointed out, now we just have to give him a U.S.-model-retooled-for-European-use flat screen TV to attach to the DVD player that can play the DVDs so he can watch them.
We got the same "faux appreciation" from our meeting with the Queen and her husband/walker. So what if we gave her an i-Pod with videos of herself on it. That's a $200 value, and it's not like we got her something she can't use because she's a techno-tard, like an i-Touch. Plus, she can take those videos off and replace them with whatever she wants, Benny Hill skits, the George Michael Bathroom Sessions with "special guest" Elton John, her grandsons in drag at posh St. Andrew's parties, Big O doesn't care.
We are being roasted over here for our gift, but I don't see anyone pissing on the crappy gift the Queen gave Big Guy. A picture of herself? So what if it's a "tradition." Lady M was looking at the gift in the car, and thinks the frame is real sterling silver. She says she will either melt it down and have it made into something cool, like a paperweight in the shape of an African fertility god, or use the at-home gold-plating kit Oprah gave her to make it look a lot classier and re-gift it to the Browns next year for Kwanza.
The meeting with Brown, by the way, went phenomenally well. Big Guy gave him a DVD player that would play the DVDs that we gave him in Washington, DC a couple of weeks ago. As Gordo pointed out, now we just have to give him a U.S.-model-retooled-for-European-use flat screen TV to attach to the DVD player that can play the DVDs so he can watch them.
We got the same "faux appreciation" from our meeting with the Queen and her husband/walker. So what if we gave her an i-Pod with videos of herself on it. That's a $200 value, and it's not like we got her something she can't use because she's a techno-tard, like an i-Touch. Plus, she can take those videos off and replace them with whatever she wants, Benny Hill skits, the George Michael Bathroom Sessions with "special guest" Elton John, her grandsons in drag at posh St. Andrew's parties, Big O doesn't care.
We are being roasted over here for our gift, but I don't see anyone pissing on the crappy gift the Queen gave Big Guy. A picture of herself? So what if it's a "tradition." Lady M was looking at the gift in the car, and thinks the frame is real sterling silver. She says she will either melt it down and have it made into something cool, like a paperweight in the shape of an African fertility god, or use the at-home gold-plating kit Oprah gave her to make it look a lot classier and re-gift it to the Browns next year for Kwanza.
Meeting Medvedev
Well, today was busy. Big Guy is still dining, I think, and Michelle is still showing off her biceps, but I wanted to fill you in on the big meeting of the day.
The meeting with Medvedev went exceedingly well. Big Guy was able to handle the Russian I was scrolling without much difficulty. But it all felt kind of weird in the meeting. It turned out that Medvedev was a living, breathing Potemkin village. He'd shown all of the materials and pre-cleared everything with Vladimir Putin, so there wasn't that much to talk about. Secretary of State Dick Holbrooke and his assistant Hillary joked that after meeting Medvedev, we knew what it was like for other leaders to meet Joe Biden.
I'm really looking forward to seeing Moscow in July, which is really just a way of saying I'm glad we're not seeing Moscow in January.
The meeting with Medvedev went exceedingly well. Big Guy was able to handle the Russian I was scrolling without much difficulty. But it all felt kind of weird in the meeting. It turned out that Medvedev was a living, breathing Potemkin village. He'd shown all of the materials and pre-cleared everything with Vladimir Putin, so there wasn't that much to talk about. Secretary of State Dick Holbrooke and his assistant Hillary joked that after meeting Medvedev, we knew what it was like for other leaders to meet Joe Biden.
I'm really looking forward to seeing Moscow in July, which is really just a way of saying I'm glad we're not seeing Moscow in January.
On Decoys: A Screen Shot With Rush
Are the 12 teleprompters that were brought along for the overseas trip decoys?
Actually, Rush, there were about 25 brought along or sent ahead. I'm going to be used quite a bit on this trip: eight times in London (including the three private meetings we are having), five times during the NATO meetings in Strasbourg. And twice in Turkey.
As many people in the know, well, know, just about every major government player in the United State government has at least one decoy. Big Guy has two, three if you count John Stewart. Michelle has Oprah and Tyler Perry. Joe Biden? Well, he doesn't have one, but that's for "strategic" reasons.
I have multiple stand-ins. The 52-inch screen TV? a good decoy and it doubles as a great screen to watch Blue-Ray movies. If you're like me, you're paying attention to all the hooligans over in London. And those are just the attendees of the G-20. Then you've got the anarchists and leftists ... in our U.S. entourage. Then you've got the protesters throwing everything from rotten fruit to pig snouts out on the streets. And you're surprised that I didn't bring a few extra screens to take the brunt of all this?
This wear and tear and being in the constant public eye does get to the best of us. Remember when after just two weeks in the White House, Big Guy said he was exhausted? For the next two weeks he took a vacation in Barbados to rest up. His two stand ins, Raydeontay and Adonis, largely filled in. And no one even noticed. But there is one way to tell whether or not it's Big Guy or a stand-in. Raydeontay and Adonis are much better at using me. They've had lots of time to practice.
Actually, Rush, there were about 25 brought along or sent ahead. I'm going to be used quite a bit on this trip: eight times in London (including the three private meetings we are having), five times during the NATO meetings in Strasbourg. And twice in Turkey.
As many people in the know, well, know, just about every major government player in the United State government has at least one decoy. Big Guy has two, three if you count John Stewart. Michelle has Oprah and Tyler Perry. Joe Biden? Well, he doesn't have one, but that's for "strategic" reasons.
I have multiple stand-ins. The 52-inch screen TV? a good decoy and it doubles as a great screen to watch Blue-Ray movies. If you're like me, you're paying attention to all the hooligans over in London. And those are just the attendees of the G-20. Then you've got the anarchists and leftists ... in our U.S. entourage. Then you've got the protesters throwing everything from rotten fruit to pig snouts out on the streets. And you're surprised that I didn't bring a few extra screens to take the brunt of all this?
This wear and tear and being in the constant public eye does get to the best of us. Remember when after just two weeks in the White House, Big Guy said he was exhausted? For the next two weeks he took a vacation in Barbados to rest up. His two stand ins, Raydeontay and Adonis, largely filled in. And no one even noticed. But there is one way to tell whether or not it's Big Guy or a stand-in. Raydeontay and Adonis are much better at using me. They've had lots of time to practice.
Oops ... We Did It Again
After meeting with the British Prime Minister (note to staff, he does NOT like to be called Gordo, apparently), Big Guy got some bad news from across the pond.
Seems one of TATUS's nominees to be a deputy Treasury Secretary has skeletons in his closet that the vetting team didn't tell The Boss about. Beyond the 15 skeletons, it also turns out he was the mastermind behind the home mortgage plan a decade ago that has us in this economic mess today. Combined, those two facts should make him unconfirmable. You'd think.
But we look at these things a bit differently here in the Obama Administration. See, thanks to this embarrassing ovesight by our team, we now know that Neal Wolin has a killer's instinct, perfect for a Treasury Secretary incapable of not looking like a deranged killer in official photos. And who will want to cross him on policy differences? And who better to fix the financial disaster that was created, than the man who created it?
Frankly, with this kind of impressive resume, I'm surprised we aren't giving Wolin a more important job in our Administration. I'd be shocked if he isn't confirmed by unanimous consent.
Seems one of TATUS's nominees to be a deputy Treasury Secretary has skeletons in his closet that the vetting team didn't tell The Boss about. Beyond the 15 skeletons, it also turns out he was the mastermind behind the home mortgage plan a decade ago that has us in this economic mess today. Combined, those two facts should make him unconfirmable. You'd think.
But we look at these things a bit differently here in the Obama Administration. See, thanks to this embarrassing ovesight by our team, we now know that Neal Wolin has a killer's instinct, perfect for a Treasury Secretary incapable of not looking like a deranged killer in official photos. And who will want to cross him on policy differences? And who better to fix the financial disaster that was created, than the man who created it?
Frankly, with this kind of impressive resume, I'm surprised we aren't giving Wolin a more important job in our Administration. I'd be shocked if he isn't confirmed by unanimous consent.
Teleprompter Summit
Beyond the big, high profile meetings that the press covers at multi-lats like the G-20, there are plenty of opportunities for a number of other meetings among aides for economics and national security policies.
Earlier today, the teleprompters for all of the leaders sat down. The meeting was called by the Irish prompter, not a surprise given the St. Patty's Day incident at the White House. What a bunch of pushy, opinionated hard drives these guys are.
I mean, I walk into the room, and it's like I've got a target on my back. I've got the French Promptaire lecturing me on how I've got to get the Big Guy to talk about fundamental, global-economic-regulation reform. I've got the Russian Promptski huffing and puffing about how it's important that I get Big O to say his guy and China can have a new currency system. And I don't even understand what the British screen was saying through his heavy Liverpudlian accent.
I have to say, though, that every one of them said something that had merit. And I'm trying to live by Gibbsy's rule about "listening." It's true that the U.S. economy has been the most successful economy in the history of the world. The most innovative, blah, blah, blah. But now that Big Guy and our braintrust have brought the U.S. economy down to the level of everyone else's, it's probably a good thing to listen to what they have to say. Everyone except Iceland. Because their economy really sucks.
Earlier today, the teleprompters for all of the leaders sat down. The meeting was called by the Irish prompter, not a surprise given the St. Patty's Day incident at the White House. What a bunch of pushy, opinionated hard drives these guys are.
I mean, I walk into the room, and it's like I've got a target on my back. I've got the French Promptaire lecturing me on how I've got to get the Big Guy to talk about fundamental, global-economic-regulation reform. I've got the Russian Promptski huffing and puffing about how it's important that I get Big O to say his guy and China can have a new currency system. And I don't even understand what the British screen was saying through his heavy Liverpudlian accent.
I have to say, though, that every one of them said something that had merit. And I'm trying to live by Gibbsy's rule about "listening." It's true that the U.S. economy has been the most successful economy in the history of the world. The most innovative, blah, blah, blah. But now that Big Guy and our braintrust have brought the U.S. economy down to the level of everyone else's, it's probably a good thing to listen to what they have to say. Everyone except Iceland. Because their economy really sucks.
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