Thursday, April 2, 2009

About Those German Relations ...

Big Guy sat down briefly with German Chancellor Angela Merkel earlier today to discuss holding bilateral talks later this year.

It was a bit awkward. Merkel was embarrassed at the way we in the Obama campaign got tight with the Social Democrat Party during our presidential race, and how we used the SPDs to get our speaking gig in Berlin last summer. To make matters worse for us, it looks like Merkel is about to kick the SPD's heiny in the upcoming national elections, making the party we sucked up to inconsequential, and thus harming relations with our strongest ally on the continent. Oh, well, live and learn.

We understood the strained nature of the relationship before we went into the meeting, so we knew that we couldn't offer up Biden for the bi-lats, because, well, we all know how that would work out. So Secretary of State Dick Holbrooke and his aide, Hillary, suggested that Big Guy send Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi to lead the bilateral talks.

That idea didn't go over well, either. Merkel said the Italians have been sending their trash to Germany for years, and that Germany didn't the U.S. doing the same with our Italian tra-, er, leaders.


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. Why not send Michelle? She's got great bicepts.

    What? Oh, bi-laterals. Nevermind.

  3. Merkel has NOTHING to fear from that empty skull.... unless she gets into a staring contest with her. Just like little Mogli in "Jungle Book," Ms. Merkel, take my advice, don't look into Ka the serpent's eyes. "Trussssst in meeeeee.... ."

    THAT'S what that snake B. Hussssssein is trying to do when he stares into the 52", behind the camera, new teleprompter screen, hypnotize the REST of us.

    Ha! Speaking of large screens, D'oh! will hit 50 soon and his eyesight is likely deteriorating as we speak. Pretty soon, all these giant bill boards ("Barry's Used Cars" and "Repo Rahm's" and "Giggly Gibbs' Grill" etc...) will surround B.O. wherever he goes. But they won't really be bill boards (wink, wink, nod, nod).