Thursday, April 16, 2009

Once Upon a Time in Latin America

Big Guy is getting ready to fly down Mexico way and then to Trinidad and Tobago for the Organization of American States. Oh, sure, he’ll apologize for everything we’ve done, and for sending all those guns to Mexico and stealing all their labor talent, but I think it’s fair to say that he’s going to be feeling a lot more at home at this meeting than with all those Europeans a couple of weeks ago.

He and Lady M are particularly looking forward to meeting Nicaragua President Daniel Noriega and his wife, First Lady, Rosario Murillo. Noriega came back to power a few years ago, winning an election with 39% of the vote. David Axelrod is fascinated by this statistic and is working with our outside electoral consultant, George Soros, on how we can replicate those results across the country for House, Senate and even Presidential campaigns moving forward.

Some of you may remember Ortega from his time as a Soviet shill and dictator. But all of that has changed. In fact, Ortega has told friends that Obama’s speeches and leadership have inspired him. Here is a snippet he particularly liked, from O’s speech in Chicago the night of the election: “United, we are going to organize to recover our notion of the citizen. We are going to work with optimism and confidence, reaffirming our will to construct and apply a new sociopolitical, economic and cultural model that represents the interests and the rights of all; a model that prioritizes the Human Being over all.”

Oh, wait, my bad. That wasn’t Big Guy; that was Noriega’s wife’s speech from a year ago. She’s basically his No. 2. Just like Lady M is to Big Guy. But, really, you thought it was Big Guy, didn’t you. Maybe I can have some fun with this.


  1. Will the Big Guy be gifting Ortega with a pair of Ray Bans? (that's for us older folks)

  2. "Shovel Ready" shirts, Mugs, Buttons, Magnets, Bumper Stickers!

    DEMS Gone WILD! and other Tea Party items.

  3. TOTUS, we know that on the last trip the protocol office forgot to load the Austrian language database into your system. Are they on top of the trip this time and will you have the Mexican language database available. The Big Guy needs the right words in the native languages. You might also need access to Brazilian.

  4. Hard to keep all these hispanic names straight, isn't it? I'm sure they will all be very forgiving down there, especially after Big O apologizes for everything the US has done in the last 200 years.

  5. The President may have learned his lesson about bowing. Will he curtsie this time?

  6. TOTUS, Rush is talking about your blog on his show. Congrats

    You'll get your own show soon.

  7. Oh wait , your bad indeed .
    That was a term paper I wrote in college .
    That sentence contains words numbered
    498 ,499 ,and 500 which I remember counting .
    All these co - presidencies must be confusing for someone w your standing TP.
    First Hill and Bill ,then Bo & Mo ,now these
    two as well . Add that to State's co directorship w the Secretary and his pretty young assistant and most would be spinning in confused circles .
    Should this happen to you TP ,
    set brake on left wheel until stable .
    That ought to fix it .

  8. TOTUS, down south, make a few slips to show BO's socialism or communism----I mean, his inner child and good humor.

    Or, the socialism/communism thing.

  9. Did they really have to stock the audience with 8-10 year olds in order to get that applause??

    And, Hey TOTUS, where the hell were you??? The MSM refused to allow you into any camera shot on any network. If I were you, I'd have a talk with some of the network union cameras and get them to stop cutting you out of all these shots. Fair credit for your work - that's what I say!

  10. Totus, if you care about your cousins, aunts, uncles, etc., like TV screens and computer screens, I beg of you, do something...make the Great Apologetic American Underminer (aka the Big Guy) stop already! When I heard he went ahead and released those CIA documents I came this close () to throwing the remote at my little television. Seriously, it's only a matter of time.

    Not only does POTUS seem to want to bring down America, he also seems to have it in for TV's across the land. When we aren't throwing things at them, we are screaming vile things that are really intended for the big guy... and it's not fair to the messengers (your kin). Come on...take up their cause. Step in and get POTUS in line.

  11. I was actually in Nicaragua 2 months ago on a mission trip. Probably the 2nd poorest place I've ever been, next to Cuba. I mean poor! Noriega's doing a great job.

  12. maybe BO can pick up some more pointers to use against the USA taxpayers

  13. Oh, TOT, I am so sick of hearing POT pile on US. Couldn't you just make him lose his VOTUS?

  14. maybe they'll like Mexico so much they'll take a 4-year vacation there.. starting now.

  15. This comment has been removed by the author.

  16. Maybe, they will keep him down there!

  17. Hey, Shaun, he just may curtesy. He nearly did to Saud [major knee bend action in posterior view]. That's what they taught him in the 1980's in PAHkeestAHn: deep knee bend, bow head (below chin of potentate), kiss ring, grovel, grin foolishly, drool, stutter -- nothing forgotten (amazing!).

    Maybe he'll give ol' Lula [the economic crisis is the fault of "white people with blue eyes"] of Brazil a big kiss on the cheek. Very likely -- that last time B.O. spotted Lula, about 2 weeks ago (just a few days after the "white/blue eyed" remark), Dopebama giddily gushed, "There he is! That's my man. I love this guy!"

    Imagine if President Bush had said that to a White Supremicist.

    Yeah, and ...... imagine if candidate Bush had sat in the pews of a racist church for 20 years........... and never revealed his birth certificate.......or his medical or school records........or called in inhaler a "breathalyzer?"

  18. Here's how it is likely go....

    D'oh!: "Uuuuuuuuuuuh.... hola.... uh... guten tag mas bueno gracias. Uuuhh, I don't... uh... speak Mexican as good as Ortiegum does. (giggle) That is, uh..... President Bush's fault. He took the uuuh........ Mexican/Arabic dictionary with him. You do know that I am the president."

    Castro: "Oh, si, Senor Obama. Whoever captures White House, he is president. Like me, you are president of auto factory, too, no? Look, here's a photo of me standing next to the 1955 Chevy truck. All original. Nice. If you need advice about economics, just ask me.

    D'oh!: "Thank -- er, I mean, arriva, arriva! Yeah, you're way ahead of us down here, Rowl. But, we'll get there (bares teeth), heh, heh... we'll get there ... [Aside: with the help of those useful idiot "SUV's are evil" folks.]"

    Lula (coming up behind D'oh! and tugging D'oh!'s ear lobe): "Haaaaylo, Bahrahk! Welcome to thee land of brown people with brown eyes, brother!"

    D'oh! (jumps a foot): "Aaaaaaaaa! DON'T DO THAT, Lula. Pig Latin! You may be my main man, but I haven't had a cigarette in 2 hours -- you never know what I might do! [isn't that the truth!] (to himself, "whoops, the cameras are rolling, better do a little damage control") [-- D'oh! grabs Lula and gives him a big smack on the cheek. Then, seeing Lula's digusted, macho, face, D'oh! realizes he just messed up and gives Lula a big thump on the back, "I love you, man." [GIANT GRIN]...............................================================================

    [Taxed] Enough, already! This is getting sickening. Before long, the brother Marxists will be off to their steak dinner, carefully avoiding the eyes of their servers who will go home that evening to yet another dinner of rice and beans.

    With "trickle up poverty" [Michael Savage -- nice quote, Patrick -- thanks!], we'll all be passin' the beans pretty soon, too, unless God intervenes.

    Socialism: equal misery for all [Winston Churchill] (except the dicators, the elite, who are, "more equal than others" [George Orwell in Animal Farm). They will live quite nicely. Just like Putin and his gang; Castro; Chavez; Kim Jong Il; and Mugabe; Marxism/Fascism works -- for THEM.

    The rest of us will be living in...... in a hut! ["If it's good enough for my brother in Kenya, it's good enough for you, whitey." B.O.]

  19. The "smack" D'oh! gave to Lula above was a big kiss. If it had been a manly slap, Lula would have just grinned and slapped the Obamanation right back.

    Which would, of course, have dropped the Empty Suit. [Big Mo never strikes him, she just GLARES really hard and Barry does "whatever you want,..... dear."] And been a real downer (bah, ha, ha, haaa) for the Big 0.

    ..........And it would kind of throw a pile of fish heads into the middle of the party.....

  20. Seriously, B. Hussein will probably have a "No Press" conference with el president of Mexico and say something like:

    "The border patrol of the country that I'm running is getting way too effective. They're ruining my Overrun-the-U.S.-with-Welfare-recipients program, one of the 5 pillars, er, columns in my CHANGE America policy. Here's what I'll do for you. I'll double the amount of guns the U.S. Government is currently supplying your police stations with. You just make sure all the young men you hire to be police officers continue to take "early retirement. Comprende? The drug smugglers are doing THEIR job -- they get more than 50% of those new hires to run away with the guns we're giving them -- let's increase their numbers. That'll teach the Border Patrol to disobey their king."


  22. Totus...when you return from your trip, can you do some research and find out the economic tiping point that MSNBC will cancel a few shows that come on after 8pm, est ?

    Thanks so much!

  23. ...oops, skipped a "P", that is "Tipping" point!

  24. Understandable error, Jayie: you were tiping.... um, make that "typing."

    TruthWillWin, since Obama once enjoyed cocaine (he wrote about it himself!), maybe he'd rather NOT supply guns to either nation's border patrols----you know, so as to keep those other supplies flowing.... which would explain those odd giggling episodes.

    Btw, TOTUS, how low does BO bow to Lady M?

  25. TOTUS, can you manage to slip in the lyrics to "They're Coming to Take Me Away, Haha" the next time the Prez makes a speech on the economy? 'Cause you just know he'd read it, and it would at least make a little more sense than the rest of the stuff he says, particularly on the economy...

  26. Actually, if you're going to slip in lyrics, perhaps it could be to something totally off the wall. Perhaps the Bohemian Rhapsody would match Big Guy's speaking pattern well.

  27. I gave a Shout Out to TOTUS a blogger who figured out how to remove the middle man.

    My Week in Review the Response of the mainstream media to the Tea Party Protest.

    My Impression of the Mainstream Media’s Coverage of Tax Day, Tea Partys held across the country this past week. Predictable, Preconditioned, Conforming & Devoid of Objectivity. They reminded me of Zombies.

  28. Hey, Mountain Mama, great idea. Of course! Another reason Crackhead Dopebama would want to aid the drug "lords" in their export business by indirectly supplying them with more guns would be -- COCAINE.

    Say, TOTUS, can you play music CD's? "Cocaine" playing as Dope walks up to the lecturn would be a nice touch.

    Great idea for lyrics, El Cerdo. TOTUS, see if you can get BOTUS (Blackberry of the United States) to vibrate in B.O.'s armpit while you flash a photo of D'oh! bowing to Saud to get B.O. all giggly. Then, scroll, "They're coming to t... ." Oh, crap!!! It won't work.

    This is how the Reader of the Free World would interpret his "lines:" "They're ... uh..... coming... uh.... to... uh... take me away... hee... hee..... uhhhhh... ho...uh.. ho....ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...." Rats. Nice idea, though.

    Shaun, a song by that egomaniac [Ha, ha, haaaaa -- wish that guy could read this -- I FORGOT his name. Haaa, haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!] lead singer of Queen [group that recorded "Bohemian Rhapsody"] would fit the BIG EGO of B.O. perfectly.

    "I see a little silhouetto of a man... ." [i.e., the Empty Suit -- what a stick he is.]

    BTW: TOTUS, I had to try and try and try to post this comment. ARE YOU BEING SABOTAGED BY HOMELAND SECURITY?!!!?!

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