Monday, April 27, 2009

Breakfast with Bruno

Big Guy's got a lot on his plate this week, what with the celebration of his phenomenal First 100 Days, the publication of his book documenting his First 100 Days, his weekly TV show on Wednesday, the release of the commemorative plate, coin, and stamp of his First 100 Days, the speech he's making in St. Louis recounting his First 100 Days, and then film, fashion, and musical retrospectives of his First 100 Days.

He's also got to fit the policy stuff in where he can, so he had breakfast today with Bruno Napolitano, the head of the Department of Homeland Security.  As the point man for protecting our country, Bruno is under a huge amount of pressure with the swine flu pandemic threat. He asked for a memo to breakdown how it was possible that former U.S. military personnel and tea bags to have started this potential national disaster, and Big Guy wants to read it before it gets "leaked." Bruno is convinced that the swine flu has rebellion written all over it. After people were saying that the Tea Party protests were going to spread across the country.

If the memo isn't persuasive, my guess is that we'll do what we've done just every other day of our First 100 Days. Blame the previous administration.


  1. I am so looking forward to the musical. I'm buying my tickets early.

  2. LOL!!! Bruno! Oh that is precious!

  3. Blame Bush - what a brilliant idea! It's working, too. Your approval ratings are sky high with the dems. By the way, could the swine flu be passed through the drinking of koolaid?

  4. Oh, can you get them to re-stock the Obama Chia head? I never understood why it was removed from shelves.

  5. bruno the bear from bugs bunny cartoons...

  6. Just amazing, 100 days! Seems longer, but that's probably because every one of them was a PMS moment and bad hair day rolled into one. The only really fun times were all the meetings with BG's Marxist buddies. And the 'bow', of course.


    You are a hoot! "could the swine flu be passed through the drinking koolaid" is really funny, but Obama Chia head is a classic! Hope they do restock the shelves, it is an icon of our times.

    I'm still laughing.

  7. totus i see you were aware of big guys "contact" with the swine flu, but i am more worried for you! your health should be all of ours main concern!


  9. 'Bruno' is taking on Janet? I like him better without the latex padding. Nevertheless, I'm a fan & hope his new effort is as big a hit as Borat.

  10. Bruno seems to have a real affection for polyester pantsuits, just like Hillary. Why do I have the feeling that you can tell when Bruno has been in the elevator right before you because of the lingering odor of sweat, Jean Nate Body Splash and Absorbine, Jr.??

  11. Speaking of swine flu...who went to Mexico first? B.G. or Sec'y Hillary?

  12. Is the film going to be in 3D? That way be can REALLY experiance Obama AND reach out and touch him!! Excuse me... I have to go throw up now.

  13. Just reinforces Bruno's argument that we have to beef up security on the Canadian border.

  14. I guess “velocity is a virtue”, as has been said about Obama... when you’re trying to ram a radical agenda down the throats of a economically shell-shocked populace before they wake-up to what you’re doing. And what Obama is doing is dismantling everything that made America great… in the name of his wacked-out Marxist-professor mentors.

    Only a fool would cheer risky programs with no historical precedent of success like astronomical pork-barrel spending (while borrowing ALL of the money from communist China), a Jimmy Carter-esque pacifist foreign policy steeped in appeasement, embracing scum like Hugo Chavez while insulting traditional allies… and Obama & Co. display a pattern of dishonesty that is troubling- that's putting it politely.

    Check back with us in a year- when people start to come out of the ether after a couple international embarrassments and 10% inflation from the reckless print-money spending-spree that The One if foisting on us.

    In three years, people will wince at the very mention of the name "Obama"- and the GOP could win 40 states running Gilbert Gottfried.

  15. "... speech he's making in St. Louis recounting his First 100 Days..."

    Yeah, that'll wow 'em.
    "Here I am having my first diaper change."
    "And... next slide, Larry... LARRY! WAKE UP!... okay... here I am sleeping."
    "Diaper change."
    "Staring blankly."
    "Sleeping...... LARRRRRY!...."

    Actually, that was just a joke. Here's the real text of the St. Louis speech. No, I didn't break into the safe and steal it -- totally predictable:

    D'oh!: "Uh, so I've now been in office ... uh... (mumbles while counting on his fingers: now, let's see here... umm, forty... fifty-five... drat!...start over...)

    Big Mo (from backstage): "One HUNDRED, Dope!"

    (Heard from afar)Mark Levin: "Get off the stage, ya big dope!"

    D'oh!: "One hundred days. The same number of days that Jesus was... uh... camping or whatever in the... uh.... wilderness. With Satan. And.... well, I digress. Uh, where was I?... Oh, yeah... I guess you could say I have been tested. Like, you know, like Muh.. hmmm...Jesus. You know, people laughed at me. They laughed at me when I... uh... told them to pump up their tires. But, uuuuh.... who was right? Who's laughing now? That's all we need, folks. Just a breathalyzer and a tire pump. Heh, heh.... Ahem. Well, ... ummm... now that I've done a few little miracles like.. uh... make some well people sick, I suppose you expect me to ... uh...... walk on water or somethin'? Sorry. That's above my pay grade. Heeyeah, (chuckle, chuckle)... if I ... uh.. tried to... uh... do that, I'd look like... uuuuuuuh, I was in Special Olympics or somethin'. Like that Pig in Lipstick's son. [BIG GRIN].

    Big Mo (hissing): "Stop!"

    D'oh!: "Well... uh... sorry this had to be so short, ... uh... folks. I have... uh... to go ... do something. ........Uh.... God..........d-bless America." Punches air with clenched fist and a ferocious expression, then, instantly changes it to a GIANT GRIN and pretends his raised hand was on its way to tugging his ear..... 2 Cult Members swoon [yeah, the same ones -- they got a year contract]. D'oh! scuttles off the stage with Big Mo pushing him all the way.

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