Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Another Huge Success

Well, that just went exceedingly well. Has anyone seen my quart of Black Label?


  1. Helen Thomas was wide awake. Unfortunately.

  2. This was snooze city! There was nothing new here and what a lot of softball.

    John's Space

  3. By the way, good scrollin' tonight TOTUS. Loved the tweets, too - but how did you manage to do both at once? I mean, if Big Guy has trouble running banks & car companies while havin' 2 wars to run at the same time, maybe you can work with him on multi-tasking.

  4. So TOTUS, what did you find most "enchanting" about the first 100 days.

    *rolls eyes*

    Seriously, it would be great to see a post on that bunch of nonsense. Did Toes and Gibbsy just pull stuff out of a hat tonight? Did they play Mad Libs?

    Oh, and can you slip in to the next press conference a question about the rumors that you have a dungeon being built in the east wing to keep Timmy Terrific in? The theory on Drudge is that you're (yes, you TOTUS) going to tell him it's his new bedroom and then slam the door behind him when you need to pretend the economy is getting better. IF he's in the dungeon, he can't appear on TV. Apparently the brain trust believes he'll fall for this again and again.

    Let me know, ok?

  5. TOTUS, could you possibly work with the Big Guy so we won't have to call him the wizard of uhs? I know he told Harry Reid, "I have a gift". Listening to him tonight with his many uhs, I realize that the gift he was referring to was you.

  6. Mountain Mama...I've heard donkey's create a lot of that! hee haww hee haww

  7. Can't you dip into the AIG bonus fund and buy yourself some JW Blue Label King George V?

  8. Darling TOTUS,
    The Big Uh strikes again. Do not despair. We feel your pain. Oh yes, we feel it deeply.

  9. You know what's annoying... when some people out there refer to POTUS as TOTUS because of his obvious dependence on our hero.

    What an insult to TOTUS! He is his own screen after all.

  10. I thought I heard a burp there at the start of the presser. Que passo?

  11. About that Black Label... check Giggly's waste basket. If he doesn't run and hide in Canada, he'll use it to fortify himself for tomorrow's daily press briefing.

    For once, I kind of feel sorry for the poor guy.


    Reporter1: "So, tell us what we're going to do to "help Pahkeestahn?"
    Giggly (shrugs, clasps self): "I don't know."

    Reporter2: "Why did the president say the Pahkeestahn government was completely ineffective? Are we going to take them over?"
    Giggly (juts chin, wipes brow): "I don't know. You guys have just got to stop asking me questions I can't answer."

    Reporter3: "So Pahkeestahn's government is stable and we won't be helping militarily?"
    Giggly: "Look. We can do this all day. I'll just have to find out. I, uh, (giggle) just don't know."

    Reporter4: "Who was that guy who asked about being 'enchanted?' A former boyfriend? Does that mean your boss is into witchcraft?"
    Giggly (more sternly, waving hands about randomly): "That was more than one question. I only answer one question at, uh, a time."

    Reporter 1: "So, what about Pahkeestahn and the Tolleybahn? Are we just going to talk at them or what?"
    Giggly: "Boy, I sure do wish I knew the answer to your question. (shruggedy, shrug, shrug, shrug) Can't help you."
    Reporter77: "Okay, Mr. Gibbs. Maybe you can answer THIS one. Why did Barack Obama smirk when he said the flight of Air Force I.B.
    'won't happen again.'? Is he going to pull his next stunt at night? Why the smirk?"
    Giggly: "He, heh, heh, oh, boy... he didn't, uh... wheee...... hmm. He didn't smirk."

    Reporters1-77: "Did!"
    Giggly: "We can stand here all day and you won't, hmm.. (scratches nose, twitches) force me to say ... uh.... Aww, come on! Let's move on. Here you are, focusing on a trivial thing like a facial expression when gas is $2 a gallon."

    Reporter15: "So, you're saying it was gas... the smirk?"
    Giggly (rolls head from side to side, sweating profusely): "Oh.... I suppose you might conjecture... and I could .. uh... pontificate... and -- exuse me......... [dives beneath the lecturn..... (this is where your Black Label comes in, TOTUS).... stands up, staring fixedly, ... wipes his mouth]... okay, we have time for just one more question."

    Reporter2: "How's the teleprompter doing?"
    Giggly (looks at watch): "Ooops, out of time. (Smile) Gotta go. I'll get back to you ... uh... sometime... . [runs off the stage... immediately dashes back onstage, grabs something from lecturn, tucks it under his jacket, runs off again and doesn't stop ......

  12. [Imgage Remix said] ".... some people out there refer to POTUS as TOTUS... ."

    Yeah. I heard Amanda Something-or-other say on Fox News (on O'Reilly, I think) tonight that many bloggers are doing that. Either she or they are ignorant of the TOTUS blog, I think.

    TOTUS is NOT to be equated with that dope, POTUS. While TOTUS may be the de facto POTUS, those bloggers are taking TOTUS' name in vain to call D'oh! "TOTUS."

    That isn't even funny. "Reader of the Free World" is funny.

    From another, later comment Ms. Amanda ___ made, she doesn't sound overly bright. Maybe she was just nervous being on TV, but she asserted that the reason some blogger commented something to the effect of "disgusting, makes me want to hurl" vis a vis Dope's press event tonight was that the bloggers were bored.

    Uh, no. The reason we are disgusted and want to hurl whenever we see/hear Dope is because he is disgustingly nauseating.

    Amanda actually sounded more like a liberal TROLL trying to figure us out and not-quite-getting-it.

  13. "Wizard of Uhs" [Barry's Used Cars]

    "Big Uh" [Lighthouse]


    Let's see... now we have:

    Wizard of Uhs
    Big Uh
    Reader of the Free World
    Empty Suit
    Con Man in Chief
    Any others?..................

  14. Just discovered your site, TOTUS, and laughing my head off. Looks like Obama's team did a lot of research to find a better prompter than Bushie had. Your hard drive must be 1000 times bigger and your processor must include artificial intelligence that allows understanding of difficult concepts, like "America is not the ONLY country in the world", "Cutting taxes is not the ONLY approach to improving the economy", "Going to war is not the ONLY approach to foreign policy", "War on Terror means waging war on a noun", "Having respect in the world IS important", "Corporations shouldn't run our government", "Imperialism is old school", "Terrorism is NOT the only issue in the world", and on and on.

    You must pine for the good ole Bush days, when a teleprompter didn't have to think at all and only had to repeat less than 10 words or phrases: "terrorist, fear, nukaler, family values, god, Saddam, Iraq, evildoers, hard work".

    Great concept. Have fun with it.

  15. Glad to have been able to witness the MSM peppering Barry with prying and insightful questions. By doing so, I can free up Saturday afternoon. I was going to watch my son's T ball game, but I limit myself to one game a week.

  16. That shantalar (above) spells "God" with a small "g" says it all.

  17. You are a bright one TruthWillWin. I wasn't trying to be subtle about how I feel about our new president vs our last one. Or about how I am tired of religion, fear and terrorism driving all of our politics. Capitalizing the word "god" is a political statement. I could care less what religion you are or what you believe in, but I'm tired of people of "god" telling me what I should believe in and trying to legislate it. So when they tell me I should capitalize, I don't. I don't have to believe in your God to be a good person and want a better country.

    That said, I am being honest about this concept being funny as hell. I don't have to agree with the premise for something to be funny. No worries though, I'll stop by and read what TOTUS has to say because it's funny, but I won't comment after tonight because I don't have the energy or desire; just like to have a laugh now and then.

  18. Are his ears getting larger? .... or maybe it's the lies spewing out his mouth that are making his ears grow instead of his nose.

  19. Shantalar, be logical: TOTUS wouldn't have to think, if BO could on his own. Talk about artificial intelligence.

    Look, the Obamas are fakes. In Chicago, it's well known that they don't care about the middle class, much less the poor. And they aren't that bright; BO has never written a thing of scholarly import (his smug autobiographies do not count).

    Sans TOTUS or his subs, BO perseverates on "D'Oh, uh, uh" and cannot BEAR to look Americans in the face.

    You have been had, and it's not funny for you or America. You and BO utterly fail to grasp the real danger of our economic crisis or terrorism (duh: declaring "War on Germany" was also waging war vs. a noun), and we are already suffering PLENTY for it.

    Sorry for this troll's fake compliment, TOTUS. We know YOU are the Intelligent One.

  20. Doctor TOTUS-

    I spent all night after BG's presser blowing my nose in my sleeve, coughing with my mouth shut and cheking the air in my tires.

    Oh, wait, that was last years fatherly advice, sorry.

    But I'll be sure to wash my hands!

  21. I think Helen Thomas is also the Penguin in the 'Batman' movies.

  22. TOTUS you were mentioned on O'Reilly's show last night! Congrats!

  23. TOTUS, please tell BIG GUY to cut his speaches down to about 15 minutes. Anything after that amount of time is "a waste of time". You are in control are you not? He can't speak without you, cut him off after 15. I can't take it anymore but i thank you for listening. You are my therapist that allows me to vent. Another thing, keep him of tv for a few days. Tell him you have the SWINE flu and can't work........Keep him from bad mouthing the TEA PARTIES and FOX NEWS, it sounds very PETTY...

  24. TOTUS:
    Somebody else won your lotto money. If you run out of black label we can start a fund.

  25. [Truth-W-W
    Great presser with Giggly. Enjoyed mucho.]

  26. Poor TOTUS. How bored you must get listening to the same rhetoric over and over and over. How many times can one hear "uh" without wanting to scream?

  27. TOTUS, you looked marvelous last night. What was up with Big Guy's scowl as he walked up to the podium?

  28. Thank Obama you're here Shantalar - I thought for a minute there they fixed the public education system.

  29. Mountain Mama, YOU GO, GIRL! Excellent riposte. SLAM dunk.

    Susan, loved the picture you painted of your diligently following The One's advice. Ha, ha, haaa. And, thank you for your kind words. That stuff almost writes itself.

    Hey, Celtic, I noticed the "cool," hooded eyes [drugs, perhaps? Hmmm.] look, too, for when I watched the Fox commentary show following the "event," I was unable to avert my eyes in time to avoid seeing Barry do his runway strut.

    Man alive! That was just about the most sickening example of an arrogant teen-aged punk trying to look COOL that I've ever seen. [A friend of mine thought it was a not-so-subtle appeal to the Gay community... . Ahem! ---- and, given the "enchanted" man, apparently, it worked....]

    Contrast that with how George Bush or Harry Truman would have behaved --- by comparison, B. Hussein looks like a FREAK.

    I thought the staging of B.O. walking toward us up a long hallway was pretty tacky, sort of like a high school play where they want the leading man to look "important." Why not just step onstage from stage right or left and walk three or four steps to the lecturn? That was such a PEACOCK moment. Barry Soetoro: The National Embarrassment.

    "The Penguin" LOL!!!! Sluggo that is SO FUNNY. I'll bet you're right.

  30. Bah, ha, haaa! Shaun, that was great. "... fixed the public school system... ." Shant. sounds EXACTLY like a high school senior, thoroughly indoctrinated since 1996, and now commencing to confidently going forth to spread the word... .

    I'll bet she [or he] got lots of A's.

  31. Too True! Decades ago, conservatives could still ace courses in HS or college. Nowadays, either cloak thy conservatism, or resign thyself to C's....

    Hey, you know what? We ALL enjoy behaving like snarky HS sophomores here----TOTUS more than anyone/thing! However, our jokes really aren't malicious.

    This is our PURPOSE: to persuade others to THINK about BO and his cohorts, to rip away the curtain and separate what's real (and really dangerous!) from fluff (the dog; the terri-fly-by) or distraction ("Nevermind the tanking economy!").

    You'd rather be informed than enchanted---right, TOTUS?!