Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Today's Agenda

Big Guy and I are off to Missouri, where we'll be doing a "town hall" in a suburban high school outside of St. Louis. You might be wondering, "Why a high school?" Well, Toes says high schoolers ask better questions than middle schoolers.

This isn't going to be a heavy lift by any means, since this "town hall" is all about Big Guy talking about our remarkable First 100 Days, when we faced down our enemies, fixed the economy, and flew America to new heights.

After the "town hall", on the flight back to Washington on Air Force One, while we give our fellow citizens a thrill with some low flyovers, Big Guy and I will be holding yet another rehearsal for his TV show tonight with the traveling press corps, most of whom will be with us for the "town hall." Once again, ABC's Jake Tapper and CNN's Ed Henry have not been cooperative during rehearsals at the White House. Gibbsy is threatening to have them ignored, so we'll see how they interact with us on the plane.

I say this, noting that Women's Wear Daily has been asking some very good questions over the past couple of days of practice. I wouldn't be surprised if they get tabbed for a major policy question ... because if Big Guy understands anything, it's not what you say, it's what you're wearing when you say it.


  1. TOTUS...I guess it is best to brain wash the heads full of mush as quickly as you can...for the new domestic army...

  2. "Benedict Arlen" - Shirts, Mugs, Buttons, Magnets, Bumper Stickers!

  3. Any bets on how many times BG will say "I am the president" tonight?

  4. I'm listening to TOTUS' campaign speech in MissourA. I thought the election was over.

    No... 2012 has already begun?

    He's using that faux-black accent when announcing the names.

    TOTUS, you're doing a stand-up job, so far.

  5. I have it on mute. I can't stand the lies anymore or the sound of his voice. Makes me ill.

  6. TOTUS:
    About Women's Wear Daily - you aren't suggesting that BO has any fetishes you've observed, are you? Just trying to clarify.

  7. 100 hundred days and our security policy is in free fall, the budget is totally out of control, and the economy is not stabilizing. Yeah, great job.

    John's Space

  8. Hello Big Guy~ I am so pleased to have found you. I have sent you to all my friends and will follow you wherever you go.

  9. TOTUS...I can't believe that you didn't make the "BEAUTY LIST" with Timmy, Toes and micHELLe

    I am sure it has to do with the fact you have inner beauty and the others....ahhh...well....hmmmmm

  10. I don't think POTUS can from half a coherent though with TOTUS leading the way!!

  11. POTUS better pay close attention to you at that high school, TOTUS, because 14 year olds can ask tough questions like "who's cooler Lindsay or Brittany?" I mean it's not easy like a press conference or something.

  12. Could you maybe have a chat with him about all the jetsetting? It'd be nice for him to use his time filling his appointments before the second hundred days, wouldn't it? Maybe? Or maybe you could get your brother-in-law a job working with Napolitano and she and Geithner could just be in charge of everything. Yeah, that's the ticket. Never mind.

  13. Surely, Big Guy honors African American art forms like call and response. If you slow yourself down tonight, we out in the culture will have time to holler back to Him, so we can not only cover up His um's but also get a rhythm going between us and the television. Some people may get up and do steps, after each thing He says, whereas, I plan to stomp my foot brace. Also, I have some nice, ripe tomatoes for throwing.

  14. Hilarious (and Too True!) comments, everyone. I also kept BO's a.m. talk on MUTE, since I'm saving my ralphing for his speech tonight.

    TOTUS, I'm worried about you! Big-Skinny Guy chose the "townhall" format (but no real interaction) to PUNISH you for YOUR mistake the other day. Better perform perfectly tonight, or face being thrown in the scrap heap.
    (That's why Michelle has kept shut for months.)

    My, this swine flu is sure useful to BO. When it further tanks the economy, no one can ever blame his bail-outs, high taxes, unwieldy health care plan, or stimulus packages anymore.

    And the photo-op excuse was such an obvious lie, TOTUS. So was the terri-fly-by in fact tasked with charting the panic pathways of NYC citizens?
    Given that panic WILL happen....

  15. TOTUS,
    I just got home from work and immediately fired up the computer. I'm so relieved you didn't have any more scrolling problems today. So far so good. One more hurdle to leap with the "Big Read" tonight. Or should
    that be "Return of the Big Read" since this is the 2nd presser? Of course you could call it "Son of the Big Read" or "Big O Reads Again" or..oh well..never mind. It's not important what you call it, only that you perform flawlessly. Fingers crossed.
    BTW, is there a teleprompter equivalent of Viagra just in case you can't keep up with Big Guy tonight? We don't want any more episodes of slow scroll, do we?

  16. Hey Totus, I can't wait for your tweet-a-thon tonight. I think it's the only way a lot of us will be able to follow in real time without throwing up.

    Oh, and I accidentally posted in the wrong thread below. It should have been up here under "Today's Agenda". It's hard to keep up with you Totus. You fit more in your first 100 than the Big Guy!

  17. I will miss seeing you tonight, TOTUS, But i cannot stand to look and listen to your BIG GUY. Can't take anymore lying and smirking. Besides he is taking time out of my favorite shows. Thank goodness i will be able to see LIE TO ME. Heres an idea, have your boss go on the show LIE TO ME!!!!!
    I'm sure everyone asking him questions tonight are from ACORN........................
    TOTUS, throw in a trick question or two tonight, like why tim didn't pay his taxes, why scare people of NY with a flyover, why smirk when saying "it will not happen again" and when will we see pictures and murals of him all over the country as in Iraq and Iran.

  18. TOTUS - just saw a video of him talking about the tea baggers er I mean Tea Party protesters & I can certainly tell that you were not present. Is it really a good idea to let him so far off the leash?

    Wonder if anyone is going to ask him about the flyover tonite during the press conference. Do you have your answers loaded up for that one TOTUS?

  19. Totus...any chance that in tonights episode of your weekly TV show.... the last 100 days will have been a dream sequence?

  20. Sunflower:
    I thought his picture already was all over the place. On every magazine, every website's home page. If they put up murals and billboards so we see the One everywhere we look, I may poke my own eyes out, though I do so enjoy the shots where his ears stick out. A lot. I guess wherever it was he was born they had not yet invented duct tape; they could have tapped his ears to his head when he was a baby so he didn't develope a complex. Then again, maybe they figured he'd take after his father, and herd goats. It's my understanding that large ears are prograssive in the field.

  21. Bettyann, you ROCK and Scroll!
    Hey, keep your eyes, or you can't keep posting hilarious comments, girl!

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