Saturday, April 4, 2009

Kim Jong-il On Line 2

Big Guy got a surprise call from North Korean tyrant Kim Jong-il, while we were on our way to the Czech Republic. Kim has told Big O that he had his rocket on the launch pad and that most likely he would be ready to go by Wednesday. Big Guy asked Kim, who lately has been calling himself the "Barack Obama of North Korea," what it would take to cancel the launch.

We may have lost something in translation, but Kim mentioned something about starving people, no foreign aid, and an invitation for Lady M to come visit with the new dog we're going to be getting shortly. Big Guy was relieved, because he thought Kim was going to ask for one million dollars in cash, which is something we just don't have.


  1. TOTUS,
    were you there when the official picture of Barry, Queenie and Lady M was captured? From the expression on all 3 faces, it appears someone pooted. Was it Lady M?

  2. TOTUS, are there any advance details about the stern letter Barry will be writing to Kim Jong-il after he launches he little Fisher Price toy rocket today?

  3. So he just wants a puppy? For Lunch or to Cuddle?

  4. Kim has a thing for " arms ".
    That is why you know who was invited .
    Dunno whether she should come bearing gifts .
    Perhaps some cheesey golf toys from the WH gift shop would do , as Kim is reputedly a
    wonderous player.
    He has only played once but had 6 aces and 2 eagles,or so it is said.
    His WMD aspirations aside ,winning him over w
    a puppy is just the sort of new age ,new world diplomatic 'change' and enablement that many Americans have been longing for .
    I suggest taking a copy of 'Team America
    World Police ' too .
    Make it dinner and the movie .
    He could never decline an offer like that .
    Hope MO tries that unique "veal marley" they serve there ' Baton Rogue ' style , and a side of that 'to die for' fettucine al' Fido .
    At least I think that is what he called it.
    Try understanding him without a scroller when he is smashed ,has a mouth full of food ,and is attempting a foreign language .
    It is a nearly hopeless task .
    Good things we have machines that can do that for us today , eh TP ?
    Oh , BTW ,distribute the follwing PRN .
    I have plenty.

  5. Hey, I bet Big Guy is really upset now because N. Korea probably used a lead based paint for the rocket. Think of the carbon footprint left in the Pacific ocean now. This is beyond provocative.

  6. BONK (Barack of N. Korea) [Good one, TOTUS!] firing off a rocket is like a kid on the line at a red traffic light, revving his little Subaru 4 cyl., 230 hp. wagon and sticking his tongue out at "grandpa" [Uncle Sam] in the lane beside him, sitting calmly in his 1962 Cadillac. As soon as the light turns green, "grandpa" steps on the gas and the 500 hp 454 BB has him the next town before Subaru boy lets out the clutch.

    Ooooooo, Jingle Jongle, we so 'fraid.


    One ominious sign, however, was China's essentially saying, "Go ahead, U.S., do whatever with N. Korea. Yawn." While it may be due to their knowing BONK's threats are empty, they've backed BONK in similar situaions in the past. Looks like the Chinese correctly perceive that B. Hussein O. [He's no Uncle Sam, he's more of a "crazy uncle"] is more on their side than on that of the United States. That is, Barry won't step on the gas, he'll just get out of that big, wonderful, car, put a "For Sale" sign in the window, smile (BIG), and walk away.

    The Chinese realize that B.O.'s "provocative" translates to: "whatever." After all, they already saw that B.O.'s summer, 2008 "use restraint" meant: "don't fire back at the Russians, Georgians, cuz I won't be coming to help you. I'm not into resisting evil regimes. I'm into appeasement. Love, Barry Soetoro"

  7. I know the 454 didn't exist in 1962. "Grandpa" restored that Cadillac.

  8. About the "let's pretend we like dogs" charade, I LOVE DOGS. I hate to see one going to live with those two snakes.

    I'll bet the reason the dog STILL isn't in residence is because it bit Dope when it met him (dogs have a sense about things like that) and is still at the vets recovering from nearly dying of the resulting poisoning. Either that, or the S.P.C.A. has filed a motion for a protective order to keep the Obamanations away from the poor animal.

    Regardless, that B. & M. O. didn't already have a dog says a lot. I don't know anyone who doesn't like dogs who isn't neurotic (of course, neurotic people can be very nice; we've also got an "evil" issue going on with B. & M. O.). D'oh! even self-medicates with nicotine!

  9. Say, that reminded me of an appropriate Mark Twain quote from his story Puddn'head Wilson (heading to Ch. 16): "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. -- Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar."

    The Affirmative Action President bites.

  10. Hope those periods came in handy for you TP .
    I have a correction on Kim's " to die for "
    fettucine al' Fido .Turns out it was a non TP assisted / mistranslation of the recipe .
    Two die ,SERVES four .
    What can I say ,he was drunk and mumbling about that missed putt for double eagle .
    Lost a lot of money to some Mexican named
    Jesus ,who had a perfect game .Really ,18 .
    Not even Tiger or the Great Leader
    could compete w that .
    Only the truly divine can deliver perfection like that .Unless your lucky enough to
    be a Teleprompter !
    Enjoy your "off" time, TP .
    You need to rest up for April 15th .

  11. TOTUS, you can control what Big O says. Can anyone control what he does?

  12. TOTUS - I hope you've secretly got your resume out there in a few places. We're all being taken down a path by a man who intends that we're never able to retrace our steps. Notice that I said "taken" not "led". GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN, DUDE!!!

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  14. Wow, the Big O's warning really scared Kim Jong-il! He just went ahead and launched the missile.

    By the way I have a new posting that address the general flaws in Obama Administration nuclear weapons policy on my blog.

  15. TruthW.W.:
    Whoa! Great minds think alike. My family are sincere dog lovers and supporters of the ASPCA.
    I mentioned to my sister-in-law who voted for BO that I could never trust him as a man of his word...his dishonesty goes far beyond political bs...IMHO to promise a child a puppy and not deliver is the ultimate in untrustworthy behavior. Her explosive reaction said it all!

  16. I knew that Obama would do nothing about stopping the launch. He's acting like Clinton did...Trying to get U.N. Sanctions. I'm surprised that Japan didn't shoot it down.

    Oh well, so goes the Republic.
    I have a blog site that follows this and what Obama does also.


  17. TOTUS, I love the picture of you with the Big Guy in the NYT (here) but I'm wondering if you're jealous of the Second TOTUS?

  18. Yeah, TOTUS----so are you and Second TOTUS, like, twins or something? Which one does Big Guy like best?

  19. Hey, J.P. '88, good for you to work to help animals. I'll bet you weren't coerced into "volunteering" to help by the Socialists in D.C., either, huh?



    Keep up the good work, J.P..


  20. "I'll bet the reason the dog STILL isn't in residence is because it bit Dope when it met him (dogs have a sense about things like that) and is still at the vets recovering from nearly dying of the resulting poisoning."

    True story: My friend's new dog, a tiny Yorkie puppy, kept biting my then-husband's ankles when we'd visit. Nobody else, just then-hubby's. The dog proved to be a remarkable judge of character when the schmuck left me for another woman while I was in rehab for nerve sheath tumors that had nearly crippled me.

    So, yeah, PuppyO's probably off in a secret facility being treated for his anti-social(ist) behavior.

    TOTUS, how does the addition of a new family member to the O clan work? Does PuppyO get his own teleprompter so it will know when to sit, stay, look cute, sh-t on a visiting dignitary's shoes, etc.? I'm sure the O clan took all of this into consideration when they picked out PuppyO.

  21. Hey, KimberlyK., great story! Any man who would leave his wife like that wasn't a man worth having. GOOD RIDDANCE. Hope you are well now. That you got rid of that creep was a good thing that came out of your pain.

    "Anti-social(ist) behavior"! CLEVER.

    Whatever is happening, I say, "Poor dog."

    Take care, K.K. -- if it's any consolation, I'll bet that woman broke her leg kicking Mr. Wonderful in the shins and he left her -- for a MAN. Bah, ha, ha, haaaaaaaaaaa!

  22. Preptile, you did it again, you clever person, you. I enjoy your linguistic agility.

    Say, can you answer this Q? WHY DO MEXICANS (AND SPANIARDS) name their boys "Jesus?" That just blows me away. I mean, given that those who do usually believe that Jesus was God incarnate, i.e., God. They don't name their kids "God,"/"Dios" do they? Wierd. [Even weirder, in a macho culture, they sometimes give their BOYS the name "Maria."] It's almost like they don't really believe in Jesus as the Bible teaches about him. They think he was just some cool guy and "Maria" was some kind of Roman goddess like Juno, or something.

  23. KJ is so funny. I think he thinks the rest of the world is lost in translation. He really needs to buy his own bobblehead at