Monday, April 13, 2009

Bo Speaks

Given that we're bunking together for a while, I thought I'd give Bo a chance to introduce himself.

I want to thank TOTUS for giving me some time. Those TMZ parasites are ruining my life.

First, to borrow a phrase from my human Uncle Teddy, let it go forth, from this time and place, that I am not the Obamas' bitch. I'm all male. So we can avoid all the female dog jokes. And I'm a Kennedy, so nothing is getting snipped. I have a lineage to think about.

Second, our nation has gone too long without a national health care system. We need real reform, real prescription drug pricing controls, and damn the costs. I learned this from my Uncle Splash.

I'm looking forward to having a real impact on policy here in the Big House. Given my familial background, I expect that I will some input into judicial nominations, and until I am fully house-trained, newspaper bailouts. Speaking of which, while no one here reads the Washington Times here, it makes for a great "read" if you know what I mean. Much better quality paper than the other one, and the ink doesn't rub off on my ....

I think that's enough for now.  More to come.


  1. I love you already, Bo. Your posts are so informative. I look to you for your insights about health care reform.

  2. If everybody in the country gets a puppy, maybe we can same the nation's newspapers.

  3. TOTUS,
    Quick, do something controversial while the BO story is hot...
    Think of all the witty asides that you and Gibbs can use to throw giggling reporters off the trail.
    Doggy sound bites?

  4. whoops. That's maybe we can SAVE the newspapers. They're already the same.

  5. What's up with "The End of Privacy" statement? Was it technical, or Freudian?

  6. Uncle Splash... Is that some kind of covert ops name for Uncle Teddy?

  7. Splash is Teddy's dog's name. For real. Truly. The utter mindlessness.

  8. Hard to hear reporters talk about Bo the dog without thinking of BO the president!!! TOTUS,any truth that the girls named the dog after Big Guy not Bo Didley? HAHAHAHA

  9. I am sick, sick, sick over the name choice. As a proud Nebraska football fan I am devastated that this dog shares a name with our coach.

  10. Dear Bo.... I really thought we had a chance at having and UnderCover dog in the WH. Did you get the nice soft beds that Rush sent over? We'll be testing the cameras and listening devices in the coming days. Just be sure they don't put that bed in mother-in-laws pad. We have no interest in her. Hope you feel the same. Now about that name the hung on you. I mean the Bo Diddley story was cute, but BO happens to be the initials of the BidGuy. Certainly you noticed. I guess BHO is really too hard to pronounce. So you are stuck with the acronym. Good Luck guy.

  11. TOTUS, you'd better get a "no-Bo" clause in your contract real quick! If Bo's ink-stain comments today are any indication of his ability to stay "on message," I would not be surprised if Axelrod wants Bo on a teleprompter. Maybe you think that they'd never make YOU take that gig, but with Rahm calling the shots, how can you be sure?

  12. Countdown 'til Bo takes a bite out of Toes... 5, 4, 3, 2...

    wait for it....

  13. How sickly appropriate that Captain Oldsmobile, the Hero of Chappaquiddick gives a Portuguese WATER dog as a gift...

  14. BO,
    Please tell me your unfortunate name has nothing to do with nasty doggy smells. I am hoping that, in a show of thriftiness, Lady M, or as I like to call her Lady Grimace, felt it was unnecessary to change out the monogrammed towels in the doggy bathroom formerly frequented by Barney and Miss Beazley. Please ease my mind.

  15. TOTUS,
    "Given that we're bunking together for a while, I thought I'd give Bo a chance to introduce himself."

    What did you do to get yourself in the doghouse?

  16. Jenny...

    and the dog's name is Splash???? poor Bo, living down one family dishonor and disgrace only to be thrust into a bigger one.

  17. Jerry, "Captain Oldsmobile", now that was a good one! Oh if Mary Jo had only had the same webbed feet as the Portuguese Water Dog! There is no shame! VN8


    This just in. The "6 o'clock Bark" this evening reported the following [as translated by our two German Shepherds]:

    "HELP! HELP! This 'Bo,' In donkey barn. My name really 'Jack.' I don't even know the Kennedys. They kidnap me. Want my Mahhhhhmmmyy hooowwrrrrrooooooooo."

    Both the shepherds immediately went on "Red Alert" and sent the following reply: "Sit tight, Jack. Help is on the way. Dogs of America, to Donkey Barn. NOW." And before I could stop them, they had disappeared down the road, barking all the way.

    I just hope that blasphemy of a "Toes" sends "the Baduns," JoeB and Giggly after them instead of going his own vampire self. The first is all bark and no bite; the second will just get lost halfway there.

    Sure hope they can get to Jack in time. It's a long way to D.C. and isn't Friday the day of prayer for Muslims like B.O.? Little "Bo" looks an awful lot like a little black and white sheep... .

    Well, even if our shepherds (and likely a LOT of other dogs who join them along the way) can't rescue puppy Jack (this time), I noticed one of our dogs scribbling the phone number for the A.S.P.C.A on a scrap of paper. They'll get that to Jack for sure.

    Seriously, what a sad day for that little puppy. Kidnapped, brainwashed ("Uncle Teddy" -- barf!), and left alone in that spooky place with Grimace [Good one, Lighthouse!] and Empty Suit. Frightening for anyone, how much more for an anxious little puppy.

    I could just cry.

  19. TOTUS:

    Should the proper reference to BO be FiDOTUS?
    Steeljaw Scribe

  20. So if nothing gets "snipped", does the Media suppress the video.

    Or, will "Bo Gone Wild" video sales save the economy?