Tuesday, April 21, 2009

About Those Abs

Boy, does Big Guy look hot; May is National Physical Fitness Month, after all. But those abs Big O is flashing on that Washingtonian cover didn't come without a lot of hard work.

I can remember when we were living together in New York on the Upper West Side, how he'd hook his feet into my right screen leg extensions and do 150 sit-ups while reading my screen to rehearse conversations with his Columbia professors.  Every once in a while, I'm not ashamed to share with you, we'll still do a couple hundred crunches in the Oval just to pump Big Guy up a bit before a big appearance. 

We are worried that all this media attention on Big Guy's beefcake will be a huge distraction to our ability to do the work of the American people. We don't want Big Guy to get the rep for being nothing more than a heavyweight body and a lightweight mind, which is why we don't allow cameras to shoot his daily, six-hour workout regimen, otherwise called "briefings."


  1. So Big Guy doesn't use special ab machines? medicine balls? springy things? Impressive. My impression of him has just shot up, from abysmal to dismal. (Nothing personal, TOTUS)

  2. TOTUS, I don't think I want to know what you and the Big Guy do in private. But, I do want to know who waxes his chest, you or Michelle?

  3. Totus...the Big Guy has big ol' Man Boobs...or as others have been known to call them...MOOBS.

    He is a desperate fellow...ohh also someone needs to tell Michelle...to quit with the tight skirts, or invest in some BIG HAIR...her fanny is a bit large to say the least...

  4. TOTUS,
    Why, oh why must Big Guy share his moobs with us? What next I ask you, what next?

  5. Whoa! The surf-city photo during the campaign didn't feature those MOOBS.

    Yikes! Implants?

  6. Could an endorsement of the Manssiere be next??

  7. Personally, I think El Big Guy is TOO skinny. That picture of his big rear end sticking up the air when he bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia was obviously photo-shopped!

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  9. When does he do a spread for Playboy?

  10. I have yet to salivate at the vision of BO's chest. He isn't all that. I like men who are a bit hunkier. I'm not into the scrawny Barney Fife types at all.

  11. I guess I have to admit that his moob job is better than Joey b's botox was for the debate. Beam me up scotty!

  12. lol, what a laughfest spectacle! Man boobs, big ol' ears sticking out like car door, skinny legs and knobby knees, pathetic arms...

    as for Playgirl -- no need to worry about the 'stragically' placed sheet. All BO will will need is 1 Post-It Note sheet ('They're in MicsHell's purse, folks!') She does, after all, have all the muscles in the famly -- head as well as arms. Too bad she can't trim down that Nebraska-sized butt of hers; and his boobs are bigger than hers!

    What a freakin' embarrassment and insult to our county and all REAL American men everywhere.

    TOTUS, maybe you should mention aome, uh, artifical aids to better muscular development.

  13. What a disgrace.

    Reader of the Free World.

  14. TOTUS:
    I'm so impressed with the way you and BO never let any of this go to your head. Here he is, the son of a Kenyan goat herd, now the POTUS with the mostus. You would think he would be gushing about the country, how great it is yada yada - but no, he keeps a steady hand on the till, nothing turns his head. Surely his ability to remain focused on America's well deserved humilitaion is evidence he is not "just" human like the rest of us?

    Now I know where you get your glow.

  15. Lighthouse - "why oh why must Big Guy share his Moobs with us? What next, I ask you?"...

    In case you haven't heard, it's advertising, just advertising (words, just words). Rumor has it that there is a MooBrassiere in the works, that should make a bundle.

    Granted, MooBrassiere sounds to me like something more appropriate to a cow's udder, but, hey, what do I know? After all, I guess they know what they are doing??? If not, they can always ask Tiny Tim.

    Another item that hasn't been reported by the MSM yet, is that now that Big Guy is one of the most highly visible Rock Stars, especially after his world tours, they will be staging a contest to find a name for the new group. Suggestions, anyone?

    Question mark and the Marxist Brothers
    Big O and the Marxists
    Question mark and the Hooligans
    BG and the Fish
    Curtsy and the Controls

  16. LOL, Free USA!!! Ha, haaaaaaaaaaaa!


    B. O. and the Mooters

    The Gallows Humor Man

    The Gaffers [Lead: JoBiden *** Guitar: Gibbs[on] *** Bass: Tim Terrific *** Drums: Barry the Bongo Boy *** Manager: The Axe *** Lyricist: Bill "The Weatherman" Ayers *** Bouncer: Toes]


    Muhammad's Merry Men


    King Kissers



    ............. guess I'd better stop.........

  17. Rock star?!?

    Puhleeze. Give - me - a - cotton - pickin' - break. Er, I mean a banjo pickin' break.

    Here's a positive note: [Yo, B.O.] "Don't you know? Don't you kno-ho-ho-hoh? Don't you know that you are a SHOOTING STAR." [Eagles?]

    Here today, gone tomorrow.

    Let's just hope there's something left of our country to salvage when he's nothing more than last night's nightmare.

    Yeah, Slick Willy keeps wandering about the countryside like one of The Living Dead, but, as long as I have the remote handy, I only have to hear a couple seconds of that toad. I can do the same *ZAP!* with that Marxist Muslim from Kenya.

    Wouldn't be surprised if by the time Big Zero's done, he's abolished the U.S. Constitution and set himself up as dictator for life of a third world country (the former U.S.A., renamed: "Barryworld").

  18. The Emporer has few clothes.....