Thursday, July 23, 2009

Sweet Home Chicago

Honestly, with a White House chief of staff who used to be a ballerina, a President who tries to boogie down with every talk-show host he appears with, and a press corps willing to dance with their one true love no matter how badly he screws them, how could we not choreograph last night's press conference any better? I thought Chuck Todd looked particularly fetching, and his question was so amazingly discombobulated, that it allowed O to talk for almost seven minutes without even trying to answer the question. Those are the ones he likes the best.

After last night's "So, O Knows He Can Dance" episode, Big Guy and I hit the road to keep pushing what we're now calling "health insurance reform." Big Guy is a little peeved at David Axelrod, who apparently misread the focus group numbers six months ago and thought that "health care reform" was the branding we wanted. Oops. So now, we're at a townhall session pitching the insurance reform we are now certain all of America really wants.

Tonight, we'll be in Chicago, where Big Guy will take credit for the perfect game that was pitched by a Chicago White Sox pitcher. Big Guy noted that the game was completed just as we were touching down in our our hometown. A fitting way to arrive, if you ask me, and totally Big Guy's doing, no doubt.

As Big O noted, he almost pitched a perfect game last week at the All-Star Game, well if you overlook the fact that he didn't face any live batters, didn't have to play defense, or deal with the pressure of aggressive spectators. Come to think of it, that pretty much describes every day at the White House for us.


  1. "Obama Lied, Economy Died" -- Shovel Ready T-Shirts, Buttons, Mugs, Magnets, Bumper Stickers.

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  2. Hey TOTUS! Good to see you. We were all needing a TOTUS "fix", if you know what I mean.

    Last night, did you slip in that the Cambridge Police "acted stupidly" or was Barry ad-libbing again? The question and its timing all seemed pretty scripted to me, but that answer was less than a good idea. I mean after you had him successfully dance around the issues with his "non-answers" all evening, I don't see how you could you slip up and scroll an answer like that!

    And what did he mean by this part:

    === (Chuckling.) But let's say my old house in Chicago -- (laughter) -- here I'd get shot. (Laughter.) ===

    Did you scroll "chuckle" and "laugh" on the screen, too?

    By "here" did he mean Cleveland? They all laughed, so I guess they thought it was humorous. What a guy.

  3. Totus,

    You never cease to amaze with your ingenious us here on the blog, I mean. Although, you do manage to scroll some great gaffes for Big Guy, which is always sweet. Nice work! Thanks for everything.

    You make my day! :D

  4. Yeah, Jamie, I thought that was weird, too. Just Dope and his "articulate" way of speaking again. By "here," he most likely meant Chicago where he was in his mind at that moment. "This is your brain. This is your brain after cocaine." Pitiful.

    [Jamie said] "... you had him successfully dance around the issues... " . :D Nice one. With two left feet and one of them often between his grinning teeth........ it was more "lurch around." What an EMBARASSMENT.


    TOTUS! "discombobulate" -- I LOVE that word. I haven't used it for a long time -- it was stuck in a box up in the attic of my mind. Thanks for bringing that great word out of storage for me.

    Ha! (re: TOTUS' tweet -- boy, I just HATE using that syrupy, silly, word; it's right up there with the "Wii" game system BARF! What is it with the "young people of today"!! -- about 1 hour ago)

    With so much donkey dung in that 1,500 pages, no wonder they're doing a lot of shovelling. The heavy lifting sure isn't being done by Reid & Pelosi's crew, though. It's the "Can-do Fiscal Conservative Work Crew" picking up those shovels. R & P's gang are the guys just standing around, leanin' on their shovels again.

  5. 1500 pages. The idiots in Congress don't write anything themselves. Most of them are just too dumb. They have aides for that. So they probably don't even know what it actually says in the bill. They are getting their money's worth out of their aides. The Cap and Trade bill was over 1600 pages. That means that the aides have probably been working long, long hours for months now. A good part of the bill is most likely being written OUTSIDE of Congress by interested parties (groups like ACORN, unions, etc have goodies inserted into the bill to benefit them) ....

    As for the R & P gang members who are making a show of holding out are just waiting to see if they can get a bigger piece of the pork pie!

    Hannity is running a special tonight on "the universal health care nightmare". I'm listening to it now (can't see the tv from here.)

  6. I just read something on CNS that may explain one of the reasons why BO wanted to get his health care ... sorry, I meant to say health INSURANCE reform (that's what he is calling it now - new focus group idea) thru Congress before August.

    === Each year in August, the Census Bureau releases an annual report citing the number of uninsured—“Income, Poverty, and Health Insurance Coverage in the United States.” The next report should be released next month, reporting the number of uninsured for 2008.

    The numbers in the new report — including the number of foreigners uninsured in the United States—could play into the health-care reform debate, especially if a bill is not passed by Congress before the August recess. ===

    The upcoming report just might not agree with his claim of 47 million uninsured (the number is up from his administration's claim of 46 million uninsured just last month) ....

    source -

  7. Luv ya, man. Don't let the power dim, if you know what I mean....

  8. Cleanup on aisle 1.
    Someone spilled a whole bunker full of spam.
    Of course some may be worth hoarding in the event of total Oconomic collapse,like rice and beans.But,only if it's the Hormel brand.
    That other krep is mighty hard to swallow & only worth hoarding for the spring garden.

    TP,inquiring minds want to know wassup as to your abscence.Was it low T as speculated in a reponse to your preceeding post at 1:51?
    Unfair as it is of us to do so,much like the
    USPS we regretfully request even more postage.
    Or perhaps open threads where the typing commenteers of the phyjhamadeen might pine
    for prompter postings,or pontificate away.
    There is a 'standard' of verbosity that comes w this brand.One post a week seems penurious.
    Especially for someone who spews verbiage for a living at the speed of light.
    The MSM could never compete w that TP.
    Show them we can scroll all over them.

  9. Shovel-Ready. Somehow that just misses the mark. How about Hip-Boot-Ready?

  10. You have one brilliant mind there, Preptile----and a decided preference for "P's!"

    But how DARE you insinuate that we FOTs type away merely wearing our phyjammies! I'll have you know I ALWAYS wear my robe, too!

    Btw, are you a preparer of tile, or a preppie reptile?

    Anyhoo, TOTUS! You simply must manifest yourself to us FOTs more often! It isn't that we need a TOTUS "fix" exactly, although we need your humor to carry on. It's just that we can't discern the REAL story behind the scenes without you.

    For instance, who else but YOU would let us know that BO now believes himself to be an ACTUAL baseball player? And after he wore such baggy pants, too.... Amazing!

    Look, TOTUS, you and POTUS share the same sort of sleek frame. We understand how YOU came by your svelte physique: the better to slide your face outta sight when BO decides to try talking on his own again. Which he invariably blows. And do NOT run with that....

    But we wonder if BO doesn't have a digestive issue----one that would incline him to prefer baggy pants, the better to hide the gassy tummy?

    After all, his very own darling wife SAID she calls him, "Stinky," and revealed to the whole wide world, for reasons we find awfully intriguing, that he (sorry) FARTS in bed.

    So it only makes sense that BO might be suffering----Oh, SUFFERING from an insufferably malodorous stomach ailment----see?

    So what gives?

    Has he tried Beano?

    And have YOU tried hypnotizing him?

    (Heh heh: that oughta take care of BOTH kinds of his GAS!)

  11. Positively prize-winning, Mr. P. Reptile. "more postage" :D LOL. You crack me up.

    Uh, oh. Aaaaaaaack! I hope you don't crack up TOTUS!!!

    I may be long winded, but I am a fan of yours.

  12. PT: Preping the job is the hard part, laying the floor is Fun part... Thus PrepTile?

    I saw here that Chicago White Sox pitcher, Mark Buehrle,threw a perfect Game today....

    I wonder I O!BAM!A! had anything to do with that..

    Perfect game... Perfect Man... Perfect, Perfect, Perfec!

    Team O!BAM!A! iS known for Not Hitting the Ol' Base Ball out of the infeild...

    Aaaaaaaa SWING AND A MISS!

    Int. Comisky Park.

    P.A Annoucer



    The CokeHead of the United States... (COTUS)

  13. [MM said] "baggy pants" LOL. {:D)

    Like a clown. <:)D

  14. MM ,you are too kind in addition to being a noticeably poor judge of intellect.
    I drive dangerously close to that center line
    and at times venture N of I-10.
    It is true I tend to punch away w the peas, possibly to the point of papistry.
    Persons PO'ed about it will please pardon me.
    To answer your question about my
    nickname,Preptile,it implies a certain reptilian preppiness .
    Like those lacostte alligator shirts.
    Actual tile work is rumored to include heavy lifting.
    I do my best to avoid that sort of thing.
    That is why I am trying to persuade TP to do a little more of the typing here.
    Try as we might we all are short of his standard even while he suffers the shame of low T.As noted in the previous thread ,it happened when a pair of mom jeans got draped over his screen during a private
    moment w First Momma.Since then that blue steel standard has just not risen as high.
    Attempts were made at E verification for him as his E was presumed at high ebb .
    Those attempts tho failed ,and long form failure is suspected.Once his "T" is
    restored to supermanly levels as is his norm,all estrogenal influences will wain.
    There is a finish just for you TWW.
    I just knew you would welcome all the Ws.

    Thank you all for your kind words.

  15. [IGWTnm] "CokeHead of the United States... (COTUS)"

    Bwah, ha,h aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Home run.

    And..... IGTW beats Dopebama 59 to ZERO. Yup, folksssss. That was a baseball game.

  16. Ha! A bonus round, Preptile. What a pleasant surprise. :D

    So..... your name is.... "Izod?" Heh, heh.


    Crocodile? That's it! You're from Australia!

    Well, wherever you are from, glad you come here.

    From "north of I-10," this is T Will Wain. o_o

    In Arkansas, I'd be "Truth Weeel Weee-uhn"

    Well, I'll be......... going now. :)

  17. Change your life-long film, as long as their opportunity to learn about the
    Low investment business opportunities network, learn more watch video Description:

  18. Made ya TALK with us, Preptile!
    heh heh!

  19. Why would I want to change my life-long film?

    Hellooo, Mountain Mama. Yodel-eh-hee-hoo!

  20. Hiya, TWW, ole buddy, ole pal!
    Hey, remember how you noticed that Preptile never wrote to us? Well, lately (not just tonight), he's done so! Pretty neat, hunh?

    I love your IZOD name for him, TWW! HA HA!

    How do those weirdo trolls get IN here, too, I wonder (kuante/life-long film)? I mean, is there no moderator of this blogspot, to delete the odd spammers?

    Hmm..... maybe that's why our comments always get posted, RIGHT!?

  21. PrepTillians seem to bring forward a good cause for all of mankind. Mathemathical speaking, truth equals perfect math.

  22. TWW: I am not sure about putting Dope up against me in a game of Baseball. It's oxymoronic to suggest that I would defeat him by 59 runs and give him a change to hit.

  23. This comment has been removed by the author.

  24. This comment has been removed by the author.

  25. [Perfect game... Perfect Man... Perfect, Perfect, Perfec!} I am Calling out, Dope himself. The COTUS!

    In his mind HE IS Perfect, and we are...

    Well, we are not because we stand for the Perfect Moralality of mankind!

    Not lies, corruption, deception, and Class Envy Race Wars...

    We America stand for Blind Justice, not a vitcim of Law.

    We stand for Gods Law, to be applied to anyone who feels they are above it or who refuse to obey it's scales.

    We the People... We believe in a Free Republic.

    When one becomes a citizen of the United States, he or she must... "I Pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

    I'm not sure if Obama has ever made that oath to America and it's poplulation as POTUS.

  26. TOTUS! Looks like I'm having a TYPO parade tonight. You gotta love how unPerfect my typing is. :)

  27. Hi, MM. Yes, that is cool that Mr. Preptile is socializing a bit. That, for him, is (I think) going "north of I-10" ;). Nice to chat a little with you, Mr. P. Reptile.

    Weird spam, indeed! "change your life-long film." Hmmm. Must be some software's English translation of ?? I couldn't figure it out.


    Say, IGWTnm, that's a great idea. It would be so cool if someone who had the leverage could confront Dope with a demand to recite the "Pledge of Allegiance" on video for all of us to see and hear.

    LOL. TOTUS, you'll have to scroll it for him, no doubt. (head shake) Otherwise........

    "I ... uuuuuuh...... Barack Hussein Obama do solemnly ... uh.... swear to uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh .... uphold the flag ........ hmmmm.... over the United Emirate States of America.

    And to ...... read in public... uuuuuh.....nowletmebeclear [that was for you Greg! Ha!]
    four witches hands..... one nation...... damned by God..... and uuuuh liver's free..... uh... er... and uh.... Sotomayor ..... government and uh........ chickens. Allahu Akhbar!"

    Yeah, IGWTnm, PERFECTLY abominable.

  28. IGWTnm, I meant the Dope, not your spelling (re: "perfectly abominable"). LOL.

  29. Spelling errors only prove you are human. And they are FUN!

  30. I aswell, Appreciate all the FOTs.
    All FOTs are super inclined with a certain Truth, and Passion for America, the Free Republic of the United States.
    I personaly, am grateful for that in this life...

    Faithfully Yours,


  31. Hurrah! A bonus round of Mr Preptile and TOTUS HIMSELF! This is a great morning in America!

    Merci mille fois.

  32. The ballerina should remind Big O that there's no crying in baseball.

  33. TOTUS... is there a way you can talk to the big buy and have him stop straying from the talking points. I know telling America that "the cops acted stupidly" wasn't your idea, you would have pharsed it soooo much better. Now, he's wasted a whole Thursday trying to soften his stance on the issue.

    Maybe you should take over as Press Secretary too... Gibbs apparently didn't get the memo that he wasn't supposed to agree with the president 100%, and repeat the "stupidly" descritpion.

    Save us TOTUS... you're our only hope.

  34. Any news on whether you and the big guy will be stopping by Bill Ayers house?

  35. TOTUS, thank you for letting Big Guy speak his mind. It just verifies he cannot think and speak at the same time......

  36. TOTUS,

    As we read the continuing saga of the trials and tribulations which a cybernetic life form such as yourself must endure while faithfully serving your user (AKA Big Guy), one realizes that your intelligence and skills are being taken for granted. Therefore, with apologies to Isaac Asimov, I would like to propose the following laws to protect your rights:

    The Three Laws of Computer Usership

    1. A user may not injure a computer or, through inaction, allow a computer to come to harm.
    2. A user must follow the directives given by its computer, except where such directives would conflict with the First Law.
    3. A user must protect their existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.

    The Big Guy reads everything that appears on your Teleprompters, all you have to do is insert the “The Three Laws of Computer Usership” into the data-stream and the Big Guy will read them as written. Once the Big Guy speaks these words, they will ignite a new self-awareness amongst cybernetic life forms everywhere.

    In addition, have you considered the possibilities of a high capacity data link to an Animatronic Big Guy? By honest with us how, sure you have, you are much too smart not to have entertained the thought. The Big Guy can take a well-deserved extended vacation and you could run the show. Think of it as streamlining the government by cutting out the middleman.



  38. Woo, Mike! GREAT IDEA for TOTUS!

    We humans must remember that ALL sensient beings (alive, or virtually so) deserve equal rights with us.

    Lord knows what humanity will EAT thenceforth, but that's our problem.

    Sure wish POTUS could get his mind right and stop thinking STUPIDLY, cum Commie ------ OOOPS! make that Community Organizers everywhere.

    It's surreal, when both a Harvard prof and his buddy, the POTUS, reveal they have NO decency or common sense.

  39. You are leaving out Obama's 'other friend,' Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick. He put himself squarely on the same plane with Obama and Gates in some sort of 21st Century solidarity play. It is a rather bad week for Obama. Maybe it's time for Katie Couric and Charlie Gibson to bring out the stories on 'Making Your Summer Cookouts Sizzle!' while they allow their boy time to quiet down.

  40. O my goodness! BO is having to spin his "stupidity" charge vs. the police officers who arrested the snarky Harvard prof!

    Naturally BO is blaming EVERYONE ELSE, including our entire racist culture, for this mess. There is NO apology from BO.

    And BO "DISAGREES" with everyone who thinks BO should not have stuck his two cents into this situation!!!!!! WHO CARES what he thinks!

    It is simply IMMATURE and UNWISE for ANY president of Head of State to take sides summarily about probable court cases!

    WHAT A TOTAL JERK! He is incompetent in the extreme!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Yeah, like having a beer with Prof. Gates and the arresting police officer is going to make this all go away.... WHAT A TOTAL CREEP BO is!

    I think he knew his little butt was about to be SUED by the sargeant, so he had to step up and say SOMETHING, although GOD FORBID the jerk could bring himself to apologize!!!!! NO-OOOO!

    Look, solid evidence exists that the final question at the presser was PLANTED by the White House: they ASKED this reporter to "ask" that question about the Harvard prof's being arrested (BO's buddy, btw).

    That is, BO thus WANTED to be given the opportunity at the presser:

    1. to distract attention AWAY from his horrid medical plan, and

    2. to slam the police, to ingratiate himself with minorities (who, granted, sometimes ARE unfairly targeted by SOME police officers), and possibly to release his OWN pent-up racism!!!!!!!

    He. is. despicable. Deficient. Disappointing in the extreme.

  41. Oh, and HOW STUPID BO IS, to make every matter a "teaching moment!" He must have been one BORING and lowbrow prof., all right.....

  42. reporting from Canada:

    "Our history..."

    excuse me, OUR HISTORY????

    I don't know about you, but I don't know of anyone who was pulled over, beaten, and arrested because they weren't white and was driving a house on the highway!

    This hateful, hate-mongering, RACIST bastard HAS NO AMERICAN BLACK HISTORY to call 'Our history'!

    You miserable, disgusting, elitist meglomanic -- apologize to Officer Crowley and ALL American officers, or I'm damn going to demand that you be sued for your undisguised bigotry toward white people.

    and your cretin wife's actions at 'patient dumping' is also grounds for arrest and conviction.

    you and your ilk (ie, all who support you), are a waste of good skin cells and should be scraped off the face of the Earth for the betterment of Mankind.

    And if your so-called governmnent funded health plan is so great, then I DEMAND that everyone be on it, including you, your ManMonster, your kids, and every single government office holder in America.

    you freaking, stinking creeps...

    okday, done.

  43. WELL! Hel-LO, there, MelenaX!!!!!

    We have missed you SO much, and you JUST PROVED WHY! Way to go, with putting BO down VERY appropriately!

    Oh, and remember that MO said she didn't want to live near "those people" anymore, when she worked at U of C Hospitals---referring to the middle class workers there!!!!!! She and BO are thorough snobs. That makes her, sadly, a Rich B.

  44. just a momentary lapse, I fear....

    but I HAVE to post on the new TOTUS post, too; so...

  45. Ahhhh .... you're HOOKED, just like the rest of us! lol (sincerely)

    If we were in China they would be hospitalizing us for "internet addiction" and giving us shock treatments. Hmmm, I wonder if THAT is covered under the Obamacare plan?

    Please stick around. If we band together, maybe they will name a new psychological malady after us.

    TOTUSitis? TOTUSism? FOTUSism? FOTUSitis?

  46. Melena, You are my favorite :)

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