It's true that Big Guy didn't watch any election results last night. He was too busy watching the documentary about himself on ABC.
Frankly, he found the whole thing completely absurd. People reading texts off of transparent glass screens to influence millions of people all at once? Plots to create chaos to suit political goals? That's just crazy.
The only thing that rang true was the lizard people part ... but everyone has always known that Rahm is a cold-blooded SOB.