Thursday, February 11, 2010

Let Me Be Clear

That title isn't a request, like, "Let my people go."  I actually am clear.  Crystal, to be precise, largely because of Van, my federal-government employee detailed to keep my screens as clean as possible.

Van -- or the lack of Van -- is just one the problem I have with this chart over at Pajamas Media (and pictured nearby). I mean, couldn't be more inaccurate if they used Timmy Geithner's statistician over at Treasury. 

First, they don't even bother to include Van in the process. He cleans my screens about four or five times a day. I think his salary is in the G-14 band, so about $112,000 a year. To not include him, but to put the Diversity Czar in the middle of it all is insulting.

Second, given the fact that Big Guy can't pronounce "Corpsman" properly, I'd expect PJ Media to understand there is no "Phonetic Spelling Transcription Specialist." Heck, if there was, we wouldn't need Bill Burton and Gibbsy and that English-to-English dictionary they pore over every morning, which we got for the government-low-rate of $10 million via White House requisitioning, by the way.

Third, they completely missed the "Fluffer" position in between the "Guy Who Makes 'Wrap Things Up' Gestures" and "Rahm Emanuel."  Frankly, it's the only way we can get Toes even moderately interested in anything Big Guy says any more.

Finally, that picture of me makes me look fat.  I demand an apology. 

52 comments:

  1. Never having seen you in person, TOTUS, I don't know whether you merely "look" fat. I, myself, have put on a few pounds over the years...the famous 10...Still I shutter to think that I might be tracked down one day by Fat Czar, MeShill, or her enforcement police...or Lady M as you generously refer to her. So if you have put on a few like the rest of us, you'd better watch out...you'll be on her radar sooner rather than later. Of course, you could always say to her "Pot meet Kettle" (don't call the kettle "black" or you'll be in for it) and point out the 40 or so extra's she's put on with the Lobster, Kobe beef, Caviar and Canoli since wrangling her way into the WH. I think she's still a very angry black woman though...regardless of how the Botox has somewhat begun to conceal that mean frown. Practice the Obama bobb and weave or just duck. Be careful over there.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The only thing missing is the laugh track or is that Gibbs' job?

    ReplyDelete
  3. RE: Slick Willy twit

    Better up that security level, NASA. Last time ol' Bill had heart trouble didn't his henchmen hand over our nuclear secrets to a Chinese spy?

    Oh. Yeah. The last time he pulled a Fred Sanford, H. Rotten was losing the Demonocrat nomination for POTUS.

    So, what is it THIS time?


    **********************************************************************************************

    Re: chart above

    Nice try, Demonocrats, but, as has been said before: "Can't Cure Stupid."

    ***************************

    Good one, WX - LOL, Giggly even provides his own canned laughter.

    ******************************************

    Hey, Preptile! Enjoyed your new site (preptile.blogspot.com). ;)

    You can send me that check at P. O. Box 211

    ReplyDelete
  4. TOTUS, Dear, I want to send you a Pajama Gram.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Totus, thanks for helping us understand how it is you fit into the grand scheme (and I do mean, SCHEME) there. Who'dathunk it takes so much behind the scenes "activity" to keep you camera ready. Bless their hearts, all of 'em... puppet strings and all.

    Anniecollier ~ you are all over it tonight.... ["Pot meet Kettle" (don't call the kettle "black" or you'll be in for it)]

    ... ah, that's classic. Yeah, we thought Rahm was the one Totus had to watch out for all this time, and it turns out it could well be the Mrs.

    So, Totus, do they monitor your lunch menu the way they are reportedly going to be monitoring our cell calls? I suppose you could look on the bright side... pretty soon, you won't even have to count your own calories or carbs anymore. Lady M will have her underlings do it for you...heck, they'll be doing it for all of us along with everything else. They are so concerned about our well-being; gosh, they are so darned compassionate! How did we ever live without them? I wonder if they care about my dishpan hands too. Maybe they'll send someone over to do the dishes tomorrow. I'm sure it won't be long now... Maybe that'll be Gibbsy's new job once they toss him off the press corps stage. After that whole palm joke flopped, he could use a sink full of suds. And I always thought he just needed to wash his mouth out with soap.

    Susan~SMIA~ATL, Ha! I cracked up at the "Pajama Gram" line. Oh boy, good stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  6. [Image] :D LOL. "pretty soon, you won't even have to count your own calories or carbs anymore" ---- won't have to EAT them, either, it appears, looks like Peach O will have his defensive line
    [the broad blonde head of HHS -- Bruno -- Sonny Soto -- Big Mo] eat everything in our cupboards!

    ReplyDelete
  7. TOTUS--I love your work! My blog would like to meet you someday:

    http://thelotuslaptopoftheunitedstates.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  8. Good flow chart... I'd question that cost though, that looks a 'tad' low, unless you're amortizing it over 4 years... :-)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Fotae,

    It is always great when TOTUS feeds us the manna to help stop the mania.

    Although we have recently been discouraged at my workplace from visiting "non-work related sites", I have had to disguise laughter as coughs the last couple of days. Thanks you for the posts that have been great side dishes to TOTUS' posts.


    This just in. Biden thinks the Louisiana Purchase may just be BO's crowning moment as president. I am just relieved that BO made it in time to save Bill Clinton...or not.

    With all of this great material you would think one of the latenight talk show hosts could emerge with higher ratings. Oh wait, they are probably not allowed to make fun of Barry.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Bill O’Reilly “Are You A Socialist”

    Under the Pink. Green Is The New Pink. Who is behind “Climate Change Agenda”

    http://youhavetobethistalltogoonthisride.blogspot.com/2010/02/tgif-circus-life-under-pink-clouds-on.html

    ReplyDelete
  11. Rush has just referred to Giggly as BAGHDAD BOB !!! Now, I wonder where he got that from???

    As Susan often says: Oh, my aching head! It aches from laughing so much over these assorted FOT postings!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Whitney the Pipsqueak: Yes, I think you, as Sarah's laptop would have a lot in common with TOTUS (Hmmm, I see some sparks there)....and MOTUS as well. We're all on the same page though, as I may have said earlier over at MOTUS (I have several monikers...aka Madame DeFarge). You're all doing the same job of reflecting, in one way or another, the dire circumstances we find ourselves in with The Dear Reader (or as you prefer, The Great Opologizer) worming his way into Big White along with his Whitey hating wife, Big MO and her racist mother...Gawd, those poor kids don't have a chance do they? Oh, well the Yogi's are fond of saying all souls pick their own parents. All I can say to that is "Better luck next time, kids."

    ReplyDelete
  13. This just in. Biden thinks the Louisiana Purchase may just be BO's crowning moment as president. I am just relieved that BO made it in time to save Bill Clinton...or not.

    With all of this great material you would think one of the latenight talk show hosts could emerge with higher ratings. Oh wait, they are probably not allowed to make fun of Barry.
    Araba Markaları

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hi, Keys, MTVA, and Annie [have you knit all those RINO's names, those rotten traitors, into your looooooooong scarf, yet? ;)]! :D

    ******************

    [Annie] "Dear Reader" -- good one, esp. in view of a that Fraud from Abroad's only job experience being: Community Organizer, a cunning Deal Leader and his being a Marxist(Chinese communist English pronunciation) -- [:-)].

    ********************************

    [Shovel] "Biden thinks the Louisiana Purchase may just be BO's crowning moment as president."

    LOL.

    Say, little Barry Soetoro, the Affirmative Action Poster Boy, sure has achieved a lot, hasn't he?

    G.E.D.

    Non-merit Admission to Occidental.... Columbia.... Harvard School of Law....

    Mascot of Law Review (the Editor is the important job, "President of Law Review" is essentially just a title)

    Ill State Senator (oh, he earned that one, RIGHT)

    U. S. Senator from Ill - "Present!"

    Most Liberal Voting Record (U. S. Senate) -- actually EARNED this one

    POTUS - That's affirmative!

    Nobel Peace Prize (for "Words, just words.")

    King Saud's Golden Chain Award ("You are MINE -- just keep on pimping Muslims and there'll be more of this bling.")

    Communist Thug Book Award (Dope's acceptance speech: "I'm a reader.")

    Sports Ill Gay Swimsuit Photo Contest - 1st prize

    Best Selling "Author"

    Constitutional Law "Professor" - (actually, only an adjuct lecturer about COMMUNITY ORGANIZING under the penumbra "Con Law")

    Democrat National Committee's Liar of the Year Award (3 years running!)

    [per TOTUS twit] Oscar Nomination for Best Director for "Avatar"

    Not to mention Biden's personal favorites. :D

    ReplyDelete
  15. NFO, good point. However, in view of the fact that the above "Case Study #1" flow chart's subtitle is:

    Trip to Men's Room.....

    (and the field for #__ has 4 spaces)

    the cost probably goes into the billions (some shovel-ready jobs in there, too!).

    ReplyDelete
  16. TruthWillWin, You are right, Citizen...it's a veeeeery long scarf...now if I can only buy a wine shop. Haha.

    Madame DeFarge

    ReplyDelete
  17. That's quite a flowchart! It takes all of the for the Big Guy's speaches.

    I have just posted some comments on what he is doing with or to our space program on my political blog. It is notable that Newt has got drawn into plan just like he got drawn into supporting anthropogenic gobal warming a while back.

    John's Space

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hello, John. :D

    Gingrich may have been a decent conservative loooong ago, but, witch Pelosi clearly turned him into a newt. With the spine to match.
    It was that little tete a tete on the couch. Mmm, hmm.

    "She turned me into a newt!"


    Ow yes, oi saw 'im! Plide boy John Cleese, in a Monty Poithon movie.

    Script not true to real life, though, because he is STILL a newt.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Just wondering what TOTUS thinks about the disrespectful photoshop of him being used as a shovel by "Dear Leader". Can be found if you scroll down to a post dated 2/11 5:30PM at http://planetgore.nationalreview.com/

    ReplyDelete
  20. Thank you for posting this! I LOVE YOUR BLOG!!

    Common Cents
    http://www.commoncts.blogspot.com

    ps. Link Exchange??

    ReplyDelete
  21. Lately Teleprompter,I think Van has sadly been going right off the cliff,with you along.

    Couldn't 'youse' save time by letting him drive the fully full 'short bus' right over it,that we usually uh ,use as a steam roller ?


    Yes Teleprompteer we have heard that at times,as a friend of "Bill's",'Corpse' that at times you act ,how shall I say this

    as an Ap-LIE-ance,

    for whatever reasons you have.

    Why would one want to have the won claim
    10,000 Tornado dead instead of 12 ?

    Do you stutter on the zero's,and inadvertently repeat them?

    That could explain the budget.

    If those extra zeros were spent on slush removal instead of just being a Fund for it,government might work better.

    Bet that is not the plan.

    Oh,BTW, Team Telepromters ,
    I just became

    Preptile.com,

    for all your Prose shopping needs.
    You need to stop in and see sometime.

    TP,that means you too.

    Well folks have a Happy Valentines Day,and please consider this my little Candy Heart sent to you.
    It does not express my full affection.


    As a favorite Cartoonish Character
    used to say ........

    That's all ,FOTS.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I was at the health club when MTP was on. I purposely picked an Elliptical machine far away from the LCD flat screen televising the show, and camped myself in front of the ESPN one instead. But a couple glances at the NBC TV showed what appeared to be Biden fillibustering. The volumes are all turned down; you pick up the sound by plugging headphones into your Elliptical or treadmill. Was Biden challenged at all in his 'claims' and 'explanations,' or did a sympathetic Gregory let him carry on...and on...and on?

    ReplyDelete
  23. [Preptile] "Why would one want to have the won claim 10,000 Tornado dead instead of 12?"

    LOL. "If you're going to tell a lie, tell a whopper." (I forget who)

    **************************************

    Hey, Chris, didn't watch MTP, but heard Mr. ? Goldfarb? on O'Reilly (yeah, sometimes there's just nothing else on so I watch that double-talker) say that in his opinion as between Biden v. Cheney, "it was pretty much a draw."

    Guess they must have equalized the contest by giving Biden an extra 20,000 words.

    @^@@^@@^@@^@@^@@^@@^@@^@@^@@^@@^@@^@@^@@^@@^@@^@

    Thanks for the little Candy Heart, Preptile. Sweet. If you had a shoebox decorated in red and white construction paper, I would put a little Valentine in it that said, "Preptile, you are Punditalyicious!" [@ preptile.blogspot.com :D]

    ReplyDelete
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