Want to know what it feels like to be Leader of the Free World? Then come join Big Guy's Teleprompter for a fascinating afternoon of insight into life behind the screens for POTUS.
Experience the thrill of turning your head slowly from right to left and left to right, and left, again and again and again, reading words others have written for you, with the most moving and literate phrases often lifted from speeches given by other world leaders from time gone by.
Feel the frisson of stumbling over difficult words, like "tax cuts," "free market", and "humility."
Be exhilarated by pauses, as you wait for the prompter operator to scroll the text at the proper speed.
But wait ... there's more: the opportunity to dine with Teleprompter and stare at the screens, since, as he is an inanimate object, he can not engage you in conversation like Washington Post publishers or unpaid lobbyists working at the White House might.
All of this, plus a Teleprompter bobblehead and a souvenir White House cigarette lighter, could be had for three easy payments of $19.95. That's $100,000 in stimulus dollars! Call now!