Tuesday, July 7, 2009

What Did Brian Wilson Say About Russian Women?

Big Guy's speechwriter, Jon Favreau, whom you may know from his acting gigs playing an affable, fat schlub in a host of different movies, or as the director of "Iron Man," is dating a magazine model back in the U.S. who also works at the White House. So I figured, who better to have as a screen man to sample everything that Moscow had to offer in the way of nightlife. Boy was I right.

First, my spindly old self was quite the attraction to all the Russian models who have moved back here to Moscow because Russia's tax system is now considered more taxpayer friendly than America's. These women apparently like their men lean, which put old Favvy in a pretty awkward position and made me the man to spin around the room.

Everyone here seems to really like their President Medvedev and Vladimir Putin. Big Guy says he's not sure what the big deal is. He looked into Medvedev's eyes and felt nothing.

I can't say the same thing about Ivanka, Medvedev's TelePrompter, however.


  1. Normally, the U.S. would be nervous that a Russian beauty, like Ivanka the TelePrompter, would corrupt someone like TOTUS and make them a communist. Now Russia is worried that anyone working for POTUS would corrupt a Russian into becoming a socialist.

  2. But what about Vlad? Big Guy met him too, right? Or did he just not look into his eyes?

    PS. "old Favvy" (heh) isn't dating that model anymore. He's with Rashida Jones now. Y'know, actress daughter of Quincy and Peggy Lipton, played Karen on The Office. There was a thing about it in People recently.

  3. Now TOTUS, have you been practicing "safe communications" with Ivanka? Don't let her mess with your hard drive. You don't want to end up with a virus, if you know what I mean. ;) ;) (that's a wink-wink)

    Always, always practice safe communicating!

  4. Ivanka is a polish name. Not Russian. Stick with Natasha. LOL

  5. Hey, Rep Barney Frank is up to his hi-jinks again in the housing industry -


    He has collaborated with Rep Anthony Weiner on a bill. I just noticed something -

    Frank and Weiner......? The two "hot dogs" of the House!

  6. Yeah, TOTUS: let's just pray that BO can influence the Russians AWAY from communism, toward capitalism----and that in the process, BO notices how wonderful good ole capitalism is, by contrast! A teaching opportunity, all 'round!

    And TOTUS: consider making a lifelong committment. Statistically, married people have it better!
    ;-> ;->
    (a wink, wink, cum Jamie!)

  7. TOTUS:
    Go for it, TOTUS! Spread the love around. May your hard drive. Even Russian girls just want to have fun!

  8. Hey TOTUS,

    Does Ivanka shave her transistors? I know that there a lot of hot Russian babes, but will always carry the image in my mind of the Russian and East German women athletes, raising their arms in victory, with tiny poodles under their arms.

    Be careful TOTUS. Only you can keep The Dear Leader on track somewhat and if you fall for a Ruskie babe, we'll lose even that....

  9. BettyAnn,

    You are 100% right. I fear that praying for this clown to change his ways is wishful thinking at best. He truly thinks that he knows more than the Founding Fathers and everyone else. And the sheeple in this country that think 'we just need to give him a chance' really disturb me. They'd have been happy in 1930's Germany as well. 'Der Fuhrer is just fixing the mistakes of Bismark and the other boobs before his enlightened administration'.

    Too many idiots with their hands out, wanting their cut. And God Obama there making promises he knows he can't keep, just hoping he can push thru the legislation before they wake up and find it is too late...

  10. TOTUS control yourself. You don't want a custody fight over international teleprompter child custody battles. They can be messy.

  11. TOTUS is in LLLLLOOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEE????? You like her, you want to kiss her and hug her...~in a sing songy voice~

  12. Aren't liberals intolerant, and not our dear FOTS?

    Whether we are sarcastic, funny, informative, or prayerful, it's all good, right?

    Since nothing moves hearts and minds as powerfully as Our Creator, sending prayers BO and MO's way IS transformational----which is my goal.

    TOTUS, does BO use you while speaking with reporters on AF 1, when you travel overseas? Or does BO just wing it?

  13. Careful TOTUS...we don't need an international incident. Keep that hard drive in check.

  14. P.S. Here's my thinking----information, not persuasion:
    I studied with the prof. who wrote the article in the Ency. Brit. re. Bonhoeffer, and I read literally everything Bonh. wrote. He was prayerful and brilliant, yet also put his faith into action by helping plot to assassinate Hitler----for which Bonhoeffer was imprisoned, then hung slowly via wire. Prayer IS active, and with action, IS powerful----and yes, has consequences on either end, for the one who prays, and for the recipient of prayer.

    Now, back to our regularly scheduled program:

  15. Speaking of attractions and this may sound a little kinky, but have to know; are you ever attracted to index cards, flash cards or post-it notes? Thought I saw an index card on this trip being used, could be wrong.

  16. Here I am, back again, with another something to READ. This one is really good - full of lovely sarcasm, too. David Kahane tells how the liberal/Democrat attacks on opposition (like Palin) follow Rule #4 of Rules For Radicals by Saul Alinski:

    link: http://tinyurl.com/msr3xh

    Just a sneak peek -

    == In other words, stop thinking of the Democratic Party as merely a political party, because it’s much more than that. We’re not just the party of slavery, segregation, secularism, and sedition. Not just the party of Aaron Burr, Boss Tweed, Richard J. Croker, Bull Connor, Chris Dodd, Richard Daley, Bill Ayers, the Reverend Jeremiah Wright, and Emperor Barack Hussein Obama II. Not just the party of Kendall “Agent 202” Myers, the State Department official recruited as a Cuban spy along with his wife during the Carter administration. Rather, think of the Democratic Party as what it really is: a criminal organization masquerading as a political party. ==

  17. By the way, have you heard? Acorn has spread its tentacles around the world, they are now in European countries, Central and South American countries and India. (maybe other countries)

    As for opinions expressed here, we all know that opinions are like *ssholes - Everybody has one or knows one!

    That's why we all feel free to express ourselves.

  18. Elizabeth, are you suggesting that TOTUS might be a cardophile?

  19. Jamie, Oh dear, do you think so? Just thought I saw BO with his finger settled on something lying on the podium that looked a bit like, maybe an index card, could have been that he was giving an up-side-down Hawaiian good-luck-sign to everyone, since he was born and raised in Hawaii. Thinking this little item might be attractive to a suave good looking teleprompter, should it turn out to be an index card.

  20. Did anyone see Mariah Carey's Hand sing at the MJ Weep-a-Thon today? Does she always do that hand thing? Never paid her any attention except to wonder if she's black or white.

    Sorry to be off topic, but I don't enjoy the image of Dear TOTUS being seduced by a Ruskie promptier.

  21. Well, TOTUS is a full grown teleprompter now, and can make his own decisions about who/what he fools around with. All we can do is warn him that she might be a spy with ulterior motives just using him to get closer to Der Glorious Leader.

    We need to just let go and hope that he doesn't suffer a core-memory meltdown if she uses him and then just tosses him away like an old CRT.

  22. TOTUS, of course, will practice safe text...

  23. TP ,turning a St Petersburger into a reheated California girl will not end happily.
    If forced to compete w the quick "In & Out"
    option that is available there,this union will soon,(as most adventures w burgers do),
    turn to crapolla.It is in the contract.
    Such dalliances are messy.If you can stand a little more alliteration.....
    Drop the D and make it an alliance w a real
    live California gal instead.
    Ya'll can have little teletubbies together.
    And live happily ever after.

    I am curious ,TP
    When dancing w those stars,TP do you neutralize the transmission to your wheels? What I mean is,do you lead or follow?
    How about when practicing steps w just the boys in the Oval office?
    I'll bet your a leader.
    And how about those armature units I sent you for dressy occasions ?
    Can the length be adjusted for slow dances?
    One imagines you might enjoy a screen cleaning
    courtesy of the Babushka bumperage seen to be adorning their adorables.
    That is preferable to another time around the dance floor w Telepromptess(....),and Stormy,who remain inseparable,and incorrigible.I just worry that your associations w these wild types will get you in trouble.You may not be a traditional family man Teleprompter.Being differently abled w too many attachments is trouble enough.
    I just don't wan't to hear about you involved in any group text.It isn't safe.

  24. jamie:

    That would be 'A'sshole*.

    *One very specific term. Persons of dainty tendency often replacing * for A.

    Preptile rocks.

  25. Maybe TOTUS hasn't ever had text at all? He might be ... pure, unsullied. I hope that he saves himself for the right tp.

    Oh, MY, group text! Stop putting ideas into his memory cache.

  26. thanks bettyann, I didn't know what to put. I just did not want to offend anyone posting here.

    BTW - when I say it, I leave out the asterisk.

  27. The only words that offend us is Pres. BHO and wifey-b*t*h, MO

  28. LOL. I think that "HOPE" and "CHANGE" rank up there, too.

  29. Never thought I'd live to see the day a PrezBho is speaking to the Ruskies on OUR BEHALF and a Stuart smalley is sworn in as a United States Senator. Kind of diminishes the offices, no?

  30. Breaking News: Mousavi Challenges Michael Jackson to a Twitter Dance Off

    Having lost his Revolution in large part due to the death of America's most famous pederass, Mousavi is attempting to reclaim his rightful place atop Twitter's trending topics by promising 20 iPhones to anyone who includes #PoorDeadNeda in tweets over the next week.

  31. Crashx, I thought you promised us to stop being so bizarre. I mean, really----mentioning a true martyr like that (although I THINK----but with you, one never really knows----that you're trying to diss OTHER people who lightly sent out photos of dying Neda: is that it!?).

    Or have you not read that Neda was purposely targeted for being a Christian? It turns out that her assassin was nearby, not far away, as was earlier reported. Check out the photo of her from a few months ago, when she is wearing a cross. What a truly brave young woman!

  32. libs have trouble keeping promises, don't they?

    and since that mindless imbecile and extremely unfunny comic stole the election, the term "Senator" no longer has any status of respect or honor.

    the muck heap gets deeper every day

  33. Oh yes it is knee-deep now, by the end of the year, short folks like me will have to start using stilts to get around.

    Haven't you heard, now that Stu has made it to the Senate, Alec Baldwin is seriously considering a run for office.

    Really, gone are the good old days where the nutty politicians like Jerry Springer left office to be "entertainers" (questionable, I know). Now, more and more of them are considering Congress. Who knows, they may even aspire to the WH.

  34. You do know, right, that Favreau the speechwriter is not the actor? Favreau the Speechwriter is like 29 or something. An actor who *does* work for Big Guy is Kal Penn (of "Harold and Kumar" fame).

  35. ps-love how your comments + word verification are set up. a teleprompter of our very own?

  36. Etiquette Bitch - is Kal Penn the guy that was recently on house and offed himself?

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