Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Devil In The Details

Big Guy and I are flying out to Tempe, Arizona, where we are going to give the commencement address at Arizona State University. Initially we agreed to do this as a favor to Bruno, who used to be governor out there. But we've quickly learned that doing favors for him never quite work out (making him DHS Secretary being Exhibit A).  Now, both Big Guy and I are kind of annoyed at having to do this, and here's why:

On Sunday, he and I will be down in South Bend, Ind., where Notre Dame will be giving us an honorary degree in return for Big Guy imparting his wisdom to the Golden Domed masses. We figure these degrees might be able to help us get a real job when Big Guy retires from the Presidency thirteen or fourtenn years from now. Kind of a backup plan, if you will, because we'll still have eight or nine years of real income-earning power.

But what do we get for flying out twice as far to Tempe where the temperature will be in the 90s (and don't give me that thing about a "dry heat)? Bupkis. I mean, good grief, ASU gave an honorary degree to Barry Goldwater ... and he lost a Presidential election. 

Frankly, I was of the mind to stay home for this one, so that the ASU Sun Devil grads wouldn't be able to enjoy the full "Big Guy Experience" as we like to call his prepared remarks transmitted from my screens through his mouth.  But we won't be petty.  We'll leave that to Rahm. And we all know how that will work out.

32 comments:

  1. Totus, don't forget to bring your sun screen.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes, and please don't let him go places without you - it's never a fun thing to watch. It's quite painful, actually.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Correction: The temperature will be over 100. There will be plenty of protestors in Tempe today too. Good times.

    ReplyDelete
  4. TOTUS, is there any way you can get Big Guy to sing something for the masses at Notre Dame? I think that would be a great ice-breaker.

    Y'know, just for laughs, you could pretend to malfunction in that Arizona heat, and leave Big Guy to his own, uh... uh... uh..., devices for a while.

    ReplyDelete
  5. It'll be over 100? We need to get on that global warming thing again. That's hotter than it's been all winter!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yikes! Is Notre Dame SO "progressive" that it's actually caved to the Golden-Domed faith!?

    And when does D'Oh plan to CHANGE the two-term limit for the presidency? (Imagine listening to his lies for 13-14 YEARS!!!)

    Finally, no-ooo----Rahm is never petty; he monitors opposition seriously, and exacts revenge quite efficiently.
    (shi-iver....)

    "The stars are aligned" for a liberal Supreme Court nominee, BO just said. Great. Now he's into astrology, too. Does this guy have ANY firm principles!?

    ReplyDelete
  7. TOTUS:
    Make sure you brush up on your Spanish. Bueno Dias Cabronne*, and don't forget at the bar, "Uno mas pour some more!" I'd recommend the chili but they don't know chili from a rat's ass in AZ.

    (Good morning, you stinking he-goat)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Bettyann...you mean brush up on your Mexican, along with his Austrian?

    ReplyDelete
  9. I like to picture TOES in a tutu. Makes ME happy!

    OMG Rush is talking Cheerios right now. You are da MAN, TOTUS!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Shaun:
    Imagine the knock knock jokes.

    ReplyDelete
  11. TOTUS: I think we're in the need of some comic relief...while you're out in AZ, how about shutting down again in the middle of Big Guy's speech. That's always a hoot!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Maybe Bruno could arrange a tour of Sheriff Joe Arpaio's operation while the Big Teleprompter Reader is out there.

    ReplyDelete
  13. TOTUS,
    Don't worry sweetie, you'll love Tempe. Ignore the heat, ditch the Big 0 and take a trip into Phoenix. There are some great restaurants in the area. As a matter of fact, ditch the Big 0, tell him he is on his own at Notre Dame and take a couple of days up in Sedona. A little rest and relaxation will prepare you for the next apology tour to Europe and the Middle East.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Yes, BO (Whenever my mom used that phrase it meant "body odor", but I digress) may be going to ND to speak, but don't think there are not a bunch of students, alumni, and Catholic faithfuls who still believe in the sanctity of human life . . . even the human lives of BO, Rahm, and all the others who so easily advocate destroying it. Heck, we even support the right to life for the TOTUS, though it has to be hell hanging out with BO.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Another honorary degree, huh? Just like all the others Dope has "earned." Given to him just for emitting a lot of hot air ..................and for being half-caucasian.

    ************************************

    It really is sad that the Obama brand will get the Good-Catholic-keeping Seal of Approval over the protests of all of the genuine Catholics. Don't they still have to obey the Pope? What, you say Pelosi replaced him? No? Can't be a woman? Bruno did! Oh. Now I get it.

    ReplyDelete
  16. [Betty Ann said] "... they don't know chili from a rat's ass in AZ."

    LOL. If you aren't a Texan, Miss Betty, you'd make a good one. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  17. TOTUS,

    It's sort of a "Homecoming" for you by going to Notre Dame on Sunday, isn't it? After all, your inventor is an alumnus, class of 1941.

    Will BIG GUY "give thanks" for you?
    Any plans by Notre Dame to erect a "statue" in your honor? The campus has many statues and Father Jenkins already said they want to honor BIG GUY, as the first black president. It only stands to reason, that you would so honored also.

    Perhaps you will be awarded an honorary degree in communications or drama.

    Do you know of any plans to cover-up "Touch-down Jesus" as a similar request was made and fulfilled, at Georgetown?

    ReplyDelete
  18. [Betty Ann quipped] "Imagine the knock knock jokes." Heh, heh. (C:

    Okay.

    Empty Suit: "Knock knock."
    Straight Person: "Who's there?"
    ES: "Words."
    SP: "Words who?"
    ES: "Just words."

    ..........SP: "That's all?".......

    ES: "Hey, 'I'm a reader.' You want jokes? Go talk to TOTUS. Jokes are 'above my pay grade' (heh, heh) .... er.... I... uh... could make a crack about Special Olympics again. [GRIN]. I'm good at that kind of joke. Wanna hear my "Pig in Lipstick" one? It's really funny."

    SP: "How about a joke about the economy? It seems to be coming back all on its own despite all your efforts to stall the recovery."

    ES: "The economy? Haw, haw, haaaw. Like how FOLKS are all worried about it and stuff? Hee, hee, heeeee. Yeah, I could joke about that.... (chortle). 'Gallows humor' is my specialty....... uh... say, could I bum a cigarette?"

    ReplyDelete
  19. OOPS! BO was speaking about health care, not nominating another Supreme, when he said recently, "The stars are aligned."

    This still holds: "Great. Now he's into astrology, too. Does this guy have ANY firm principles!?"

    ReplyDelete
  20. [INFIDEL JOE said] "Do you know of any plans to cover-up "Touch-down Jesus" as a similar request was made and fulfilled, at Georgetown?"

    Probably. Over "TD Jesus," they'll likely duct tape a big banner saying, "I WON."

    ReplyDelete
  21. ........or maybe that banner will say, "I AM THE WAY -- WHO NEEDS THE TRUTH"

    ReplyDelete
  22. TOTUS! How about this for a line in B.O.'s salutation:

    "Greetings. If it weren't for abortion, I wouldn't have made it into the White House. And I wouldn't be standing here before you today, the first half-caucasian president in the history of the U.A.E.... er, S.A."

    ReplyDelete
  23. Will the Big Guy be singing Ave Maria at Notre Dame?

    ReplyDelete
  24. [Shaun said] "...get on that global warming thing again. That's hotter than it's been all winter!"

    Uh, huh. And you can bet they will, too.

    How ironic that a number of (most?) the global warming hoaxsters are lying their blase way down the pathway to Hell. Every day, they are "geeeh-tting waaarrrmerrr."*



    *[Of course, until they (the ones who have never believed in Jesus as savior) draw their last breath, they can still repent and end up as far from Hell as you can get.]

    ReplyDelete
  25. [Mountain Mama keenly observed] "... [B.O.] said recently, "The stars are aligned." ... Now he's into astrology, too... ."

    Preeehtty creepy.

    No wonder he never takes his children to church. Who needs a church? Just break out the tarot cards and the ouiji board. "Come on, girls. Let's 'worship.'" Ugh.

    ReplyDelete
  26. [Cpd. Coppurr mused] "Will the Big Guy be singing Ave Maria... ."

    Nope. He might say, "Heil!" though. ]$:|

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hey, TOTUS, I heard that fine man, Neil Cavuto, refer to B. Hussein as "Big Guy" today during an interview with Jobiden's "Chief Economist*." Your site attracts all the cool people.



    *[!! What's up with that, BTW?! What's JoeyB doing with his own economist (more than one actually)?? Is JB running a shadow-government? Will we soon hear of a coup de etat and see the flag of JOBIDEN raised over the White House?!]

    ReplyDelete
  28. TWW:
    A-hem. Excuse me? You missed a state. It is in fact true that they really, truly do not know chili from a rat's ass in AZ.

    However, in Texas? They wouldn't know chili from a donkey's ass unless a New Mexican showed them.

    Worse than that, concerning Texans and chili? It's sort of like the difference between a duck.

    ReplyDelete
  29. LOL, Betty Ann. You're so full of beans (not!).

    I beg yer pardon.

    If you really do live in New Mexico, they are lucky to have a great gal like you there.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Bettyann...you're judging them rather harshly. They can't be expected to know everything about all 57 states.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Tough titty Totus, Barry Goldwater's dad and grandpa come from America, Prescott to be exact. And with that said, Barry deserved a degree from ASU. They just don't hand them out to anybody!

    ReplyDelete
  32. escort bayan bayan eskort servisi seo web tasarımı, internet sitesi google optimizasyonu partner eskort kızlar escort bayan escort girls. türkiyenin özel kızları sallama kelime kolleksiyonu burada türkiyenin eskort kızları bayan erkek eskort servisi istanbul ankara izmir köpek eğiticisi köpek eğitimi ve bakımı arkadaş arama Sohbet siteleri chat
    islami evlilik siteleri bayan partner siteleri arıyorum en güzel kızlar bu sitede ücretsiz üyelik sistemi bayan arkadaşlar kız arkadaşlar arıyorum
    bayan arama telekız hizmeti veren siteler car rental rent a car bakırköy rent a car araç kiralama türkiyenin kızları en sexy kızlareskort ankara bu sitede aradığınız kızı bulacaksınız. attım kafadan köfte kalıbı firmanıza uygun kalıp tasarımları türkiyenin en güzel kızları. biz www.bizdensor.com sinema dizi full macera filmleri belgesel video clip play game çocuklar kral oyun erkek çocuk games escort servisi deneme sallama mail escort istanbul plaket kristal plaket kokart rozet ahsap plaket kristal ödül madalya gümüş plaket yaka isimliği masa isimliği kupa gümüş plaket s

    ReplyDelete