Thursday, May 14, 2009


Over the weekend, Big Guy and I, along with a bunch of other guys who like sports, were watching the NBA playoffs. Some of you may know that Big Guy will tell you he was a good enough baskteball player that he could have gone to the NBA right out of high school, but he chose, instead to go to a community college that didnt' even have a hoops team because he cared so much about his education. But I digress.

Anyway, Big Guy's - and my - assistant, Reggie Love, has a friend from his days on the Duke basketball team. And after that friend, Shane Battier had a good game, Reg, thought it would be cool to have Big Guy send a text message to Battier congratulating him. We all thought it was pretty funny and a cool idea, until Battier's team lost the next game by 40 points.

After that, Toes went back and looked at all the times Big Guy has sent people text messages and Blackberry messages. Lance Armstrong on a good race back in December? Broken collar bone; last November's email to Chrysler on its hot new car? Bankrupt; Dom Deluise on his birthday? Dead. The result of his text message to all his supporters? Vice President Joe Biden.

We're looking to have his Blackberry "lost" while we're on the road. There has to be a more productive way for him to use his thumbs than destroying America by way of IM.


  1. Acording to Big Guy he was a star player on his prep school team. According to his coach, he was a backbencher. Reggie LOVE is his BODY man. Just sayin'.

  2. As Obama's Blackberry, I take offense at your assumptions. Texting-GOOD, Teleprompting-BAD! Ask Wanda Sykes about KARMA at:

  3. TOTUS - Here's a better idea.

    Have the big guy send himself a text congratulating himself on his fine accomplishments during the first 100 days.

  4. TOTUS,
    You are priceless! Looking forward to your insights on the Big 0's future meeting with Netanyahu.

  5. It looks like Big Guy's zone d is about as good as his stimulus.

  6. After BO texts (bonks) himself, urge BO to text "u b gr8!" to Pelosi and Reid.

    Then "lose" that Blackberry, before BO texts Tim Terrific and crashes the Dow completely.

  7. TOTUS you're on fire today.

    Kudos on your idea, Indiana Elephant! Good one.

  8. [Indiana Elephant said] "Have the big guy send himself a text congratulating himself... ."


    Oh, and do Mountain Mama's idea too, but be sure to send to Pelosi, Reid (and to the whole wretched lot of those Marxists) BEFORE the self-text.

    Wheee, this is going to be GREAT!


    Yeah, Mountain Mama, I think D'oh! has already been congratulating Wall Street a few times. "And the Dow closed down another 200 points today.... no one seems to know why... ."

    Maybe it was Dope saying, "Say, FOLKSsss, I uuuuuuuuuuh... have uuuuuuuuh... another great idea for uuuuuuuuuhh... mmmmm.... how to run your... uh... businessessss... ."

  9. TOTUS:
    It is certain that, because his Holiness decided to serve the public good, a great basketball star was never to be. In fact, it is most certain that whatever it may have been that his Most Esteemedness may have wanted to do with this One Life, he would have reached the pinnacle of every success.

    I propose we clone him.

    An army of national treasures - think of the possiblities - he could do everything, earn everything, even pay his own taxes. He could become his own country filled with himself as the One Citizen, even vote himself into all public offices! Picture a million Big Guys reciting a pledge to himself:

    "Uh Uh Uh
    UH Uh
    Uh UH

  10. [I see dead heads said] "According to Big Guy he was a star player on his prep school team. According to his coach, he was a backbencher."

    Good one! (c:

    So, little Barry Soetoro didn't want to share the ball. Bet that's it. Major ball hog. There's one on every team at that level: the little spoiled brat kid whose parents never taught him or her how to share.

    I saw a photo of his high school team. There were only about 8 boys on it. So, if he claimed he was a "star player" there, too,..... big whoop.

    And SO WHAT IF THE Imposter-POTUS played basketball well or not?!! That B.O. asserts it as one of his significant (well, there really aren't too many to assert, are there?....) qualifications is pathetic.

    All this crap goes back to what some astute FOTUS (could've been you, I see dead heads) observed about Barry Soetoro's infantile need to be seen as "the cool kid." Ha! He even smokes -- that's what all the "cool" kids did when he was shorter.

  11. There is no "O" in "TEAM."

    Hey, Betty Ann. Great minds, huh? ;)

  12. On her high school basketball team, starting guard Sarah Palin was known as "Sarah Barracuda."

    Barry Soetoro was known as "Barry Puffer [fish]."

    Or worse........

  13. TWW:
    The puffer fish is a valid member of the underwater community, and I will not have you making unkind comparisons like that.

  14. Barry Squid? ... Slug? ... Mosquito?

  15. How about sponge Barry O'bamar. His number can be BUBBLES!!!! Maybe the one can do some commercials for the Burger King.

  16. "Hold the pickles! HOLD the lettuce! Here he comes now, Number 0....... Barreeeeeeee Sponge!"

    LOL, Rustard, you are so funny. :)

  17. Truth and TOTUS,
    the white house could produce an offical WH weekly youtube video like that burger king/sponge bob ad for the kiddies promoting big butts with Lady M and Fancy Nancy as the dancing girls with the phone books. Barry could do the spoken word portion (like the poetry jam/slam), proclaining, "I like big bailouts and I can not lie...." This would unifiy your weekly message and be fun to watch.

  18. Rustard, when I read "I like big bailouts and I can not lie... "ha!" not only did I laugh, but it reminds me of Donkey at the end of Shrek when he sings the big butts tune. Your new version will easily replace the old and become a classic.

    And how appropriate for big guy to sing "I like big bailouts and I cannot lie..." esp. with that big DONKEY GRIN of his. Good one.

  19. Reggie Love...isn't that the attorney from "The Client" by John Grisham, played by Mom Susan Sarandon? Bet that's not even on your hard drive, unless you interface with IMDB.

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