Monday, June 22, 2009

Another Visit With Ahmadinejad's TelePrompter

Hello, Great Satans and the unwashed and unclean eaters of the cloven hoof. It is I, the blessed screens of the Grand Leader of the free land of Iran.

Okay. We'll admit it. Maybe the great and Evil Bush was right. It may be that the Grand Mullah underestimated the power of young people and the impact of the culture of the pop you've beamed into our land via the technology in the sky where only Merciful Allah can strike a blow for us. Oh, cursed the technology of tomorrow which for you eaters of pig is the technology of today. Cursed is the DirectTV and the radio stations of freedom and casts of podding that the Great Satan has sent to us on the evil air in the past nine years. Teen-agers. What can you do about them?

More important to us, the friends you sent us, the seedlings of oak trees, who made The Great Mahmoud's re-election by landslide, have proven to be useless today. They cannot fight. And they call themselves revolutionaries?  They are pffft! They now whine about lack of room service in their western hotels and demand money for cigarettes, and these are minions of your Great One? We think not. Please take these ACORNs from our sight.

We know from this Twitter and Tube that you are watching. But know this: the Great Mullah will continue to strike with an iron fist shaped by the most Holy Allah against these teen-agers and lovers of the freedom. While your Great O-man speaks of justice, we will use that same word against those who seek freedom and who wish to tear the veil from our virgins and pure women.  And if we fail? I hear you have a man called Biden who could use some help in the great oration department, and I work for cheap.


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  2. "casts of podding"?!?

    You really need to work harder to master the English language, bub. TOTUS, can you tutor this guy?

    As for the seedlings of the oak trees - just tell Admahbadabing to promise that he will send their masters a couple of million dollars (he can spare that, especially with the dollar at an all time low right now) and they will stop whining and get back to work. Better do it quick, because I have a feeling that Big Guy will be recalling them for work on drumming up support for his Health Care Reform Plan. He only has 13 million of loyal volunteers to do it right now and he needs a lot more than that.

  3. Teleprompter of the great and glorious leader of Iran:

    Not only are we going to rip the veil from your pure women, we are going to give them credit cards in their own names, legal rights equal to men, and clarify for them exactly how long six inches really is.

    You guys are in a lot of trouble.

  4. "I work for cheap," priceless!

    I know my God and not your Allah, though they may be TECHNICALLY the same overpowering being, will stand by us before he stands by you and strikes you down with lightning. So there.

    :P <--That is me, with my tongue out at you. Deal with it! It's called being American! I'll unapologetically bastardized your culture and assist in ruining your youth with tomorrow's technologies until you are stripped of your metaphorical robes and not-so-metaphorical power.

  5. TOTUS
    Could you ask Amawhackjob's prompter if it could recommend a mosque in DC. Evidently, Big Guy is unable to find one.

  6. If Jimmy Carter had just ordered the Ayatollah's plane shot down before the '79 uprising. Of course I wouldn't not have wanted the teleprompter on board!

  7. Well, well, well!

    If it isn't the Electronic Enabler for Mr. Malevolent himself, known hereabouts as "Mahmoud the Meany, and also ”known as, "The Little Guy," who puts in another appearance here!

    Hey pal, you forgot to respond to a whole host of queries put to you the last time you were here.

    Even your boss responded to pointed questions about Mousavi’s safety -- put to him by Iranian-born Christiane Amanpour -- by laughingly asserting that Iran was "the most stable country in the world!"

    But your answer to questions? "Pffft!" as you would say!

  8. By the way, did you give Mahmoud the Meany that answer, oh enabling one? No wonder you now hint that you now want to work for "a man called Biden?

    But why wouldn't you answer our questions when we asked them, huh? You think it's enough for you to now generally acknowledge the existence of Twitter and "Tube?"

    Now we say to you . . . "Pffft!"

    As I see it, you have two big problems.

    First, you were set up to work for a little shrimpy guy with a big head and a mean disposition. Joe Biden doesn't have seem to have as mean a disposition.

    And, even though we all concede that the mental acuity of "a man called Biden" is indeed very shrimpy, he is physically way too tall for you.

    Plus, let's talk turkey. Do you have any idea what the half-life of the electronic technology for a teleprompter is?

    No one upgrades teleprompters! I'll tell you where old teleprompters move.

    Two words: "Land fill!"

  9. Think back to the POTUS speech in Cairo. In spite of all the silly and bogus claims he made about great Muslim contributions to the history of science and civilization, do you recall him EVER mentioning teleprompter technology? The answer is no! Do you want to know why? Because his bozo band of personality-cult worshiping numb-nuts would NEVER, EVER have believed that one!

  10. The truth is that we Americans simply do not want a lame, faux pas committing, bad joke telling, serial plagiarizing, secret bunker location revealing, dopey web site number forgetting, embarrassing stand up Chucking, and can’t even count up to four without blowing it Vice-President.

    Or, at least we don’t want one who -- on top of all those shortcomings -- also "speaks" Farsi.

    Okay? So, forget it!

  11. "They cannot fight. And they call themselves revolutionaries? They are pffft!" -- Helpless with a fit of the giggles over this one.

  12. Who here actually believes that Biden would want to use a teleprompter? He is exceedingly vain and thinks of himself as a genius. Now, we all know that he likes to use the speeches of others, so you would have to be sure that you had a good speechwriter lined up. (BHO is too busy.) Otherwise he might try to slip in a copy of one of BHO's old speeches, claiming that he "stayed up all night writing it".

    Besides, I'm not sure that he could read the tiny print on the screen. You would have to super-size it or something.

  13. Trochilus:
    I kinda thought it was a swell idea to employ the teleprompter of the leader of Iran's as Biden's teleprompter. He could have his own show late nights. Imagine JoeyB saying, "Greetings thou swine ingesting lovers of joos and friends of demons! We liberals are slaying conservatives at the gates and using their entrails as fertilizer in the Messiah's tomato patch!" Bagdad Bob could write this stuff. You should never let fine talent go to waste.

  14. Send us your militant youths. We'll send you Jimmy Carter in return. You can keep him - it'll make up for that nasty hostage situation back in the '70s. You know, before we all knew how to tweet?

  15. We really don't want JOey B. to have to squint trying to read the words on the screen. He is already squinty-eyed enough and to squint more would result in even MORE frown lines and crow's feet! I imagine that he has already surpassed his allowed allotment of Botox for the year. There are rumors that too much Botox causes the user to become disoriented and disruptive. We wouldn't want BHO to have to fire Joey B, too. There is still too much talk on Fox about that silly old IG that BHO had to fire last week. What is it with these old people, anyway?

  16. Thanks Bettyann, for the gardening tip. I was wondering how Lady M managed to get her veggies to grow. Now we know her secret.

    Wonder if liberal entrails would work as well? Nah, bad idea. Nobody would want to eat the veggies fertilized with libs, cause they would taste like sh*t, I imagine.

    BTW, Last week, we offered to send Nancy P, Helen T, and other beauty-beasts. What is the status on that?

  17. Jamie:
    It seems even Iranian men have standards on just how much a bag is allowed to conceal. But I think it was the offer of the free muzzles that frightened them off like the little chipmonk.

  18. bettyann:

    You say, "I kinda thought it was a swell idea to employ the teleprompter of the leader of Iran's as Biden's teleprompter. He could have his own show late nights."

    Why? On the theory that escalating


    -- musing wistfully about the public rape of the 14 year-old daughter of a recent Vice-Presidential candidate in Yankee Stadium,


    -- musing wishfully about the nuclear annihilation of one of the United States strongest allies,

    would somehow be good for ratings?

    Seriously, bettyann, I know you are joking. But we must be very careful. There are "progressives" hanging on our every word!

  19. That Ahmadinejad pompter is a really bad bad teleprompter.

    John's Space

  20. Trochilus:
    "There are "progressives" hanging on our every word!"

    Oh goodie.

    At least if he hired the Iranian teleprompter his gaffes would be understandable. As it is we just have to put it down to his being habitually stupid.

  21. He is habitually stupid.

    A little story.

    Once, a long time ago, my friends and I visited Washington D.C. We toured the capitol, and I had the opportunity to sit in the seat of my favorite Senator.

    I had no favorite Senator, but on a lark, I sat in Joe Biden's seat.

    I could feel my mind going blank . . .

  22. You work for cheap? LOL. TOTUS has you beaten on that one, he works for nothing (the Big Green Zero).

    Seriously, TOTUS, GREAT WRITING! {:( )) (Figured I'd better "shout," -- seems like TOTUS doesn't read our comments anymore. Sniff. "Somebody call a wambulance." (the same one headed for D'oh!'s place when he whines about Fox not fawning over him)

    You FOTUSes are terrific! Thanks for making my day every day with your wit and insights.

  23. Trochilus, it sure is good you jumped up out of that brain sucking black hole of a chair! If you hadn't, instead of the great stuff you regularly contribute here, you'd be saying stuff like, "Uuuuuuuuuuuuh..... hmmm..... uh... a breathalyzer.... uh........ more air in your tires............... Cinco de Cuatro, everybody!"

    Guess Biden was B. Hussein Obama's "favorite senator," too. Only he sat in that chair a leeetle too long.

  24. Sooo...we now have the First Wookie, and the First Wussie. Unfortunately (for them)there is strong disapproval of BO for both his performance and his policies. The Rasmussen Report daily Presidential Tracking Report for Monday shows that a larger percentage of respondents "strongly disapprove" of his performance than the percentage that "strongly approve". obama_/2009/06/22/227789.html

    Is anyone else noticing that most of the recent photos of BO show him with tightly pursed lips and a scowl on his face. Someone should start a file on this.

    One of the funnier ones that I have seen lately was on June 16, at: obama-political-virgin.html

  25. TruthWillWin . . . Heh! Too comfy, I guess.

    But don't forget also that asymetrical warfare is a meaningless notion, which can be easily underscored by the "BOba-fact" that if Iran "tried to pose a serious threat to us they wouldn’t -- they wouldn’t stand a chance.

    Well . . . with the teeny-tiny minor subsequent proviso that, "I’ve made it clear for years that the threat from Iran is grave."


    Say . . . do you suppose that strange, dichotomous sort of thinking might ever prompt someone to get "excited to see what appears to be a robust debate taking place in Iran and hinting broadly that his speech in Cairo was the reason it was happening, followed literally hours later by stone cold silence in the face of a massive Iranian state-imposed terror post-election, and finally followed by a tepid, measured request that the Iranian regime should go easy on the protesters, but not so much that The One should, heaven forbid, become a political football?

    Naaaaaaa . . . what am I thinking? That could never happen.

    Time for an ice cream cone!

  26. totus is there a teleprompter union?

  27. "First Wussie" [FreeUSA] -- LOL. :)


    Trochilus, your posts are simply magnificent. Wow. Nice summary of Dope's dismally inadequate response.

    "Time for an ice cream cone!" :D -- And... uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh........nother cigarette. "Oooooooooooooh....... thuuuuuuuh buzzin' of the bees in the cigarette trees and the soda water fountain and something and something and suh-hu-huh-something on big Rock Candy Mountain."

    All this talking about Hopey the Clown is making me silly.... - silliER.

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