Monday, March 30, 2009

In Which Gibbsy Goes Too Far

I am really annoyed at Gibbsy tonight. I wasn't at the press briefing, but I can't believe he said what he said about The Boss. Some blowhole of a reporter - probably Tapper or Henry trying to show off their smarts - was pounding Gibbsy about our Administration's not living up to a campaign promise to post bills five days before Big Guy signed them. Today, for example, he signed a bill just six hours after it was posted on the Internet. Like anyone would care about a bill like that. But I digress.

So Gibbsy tells these reporters that Big Guy is "not perfect" on transparency. The nerve! The Boss is committed to transparency. That's why my screens aren't covered. And that's why - as far as you know - he doesn't hide me in his podium.

In just about every way, Big Guys is committed to letting the American people see through me to see through him.

Oh, that didn't come out right.


  1. I love it when he watches you, watching him. Besides, I think he's perfectly transparent

  2. Hey Tele,

    I don't know if you're aware, but Glenn Beck (he's one of those wing-nuts I'm sure Big Guy has warned you about) today took a call from a listener who suggested we might solve the energy crisis by shutting off all the teleprompters.

    I want you to know I'm on your side here, but I'd like to advise you be careful with your words. Making statements like "letting the American people see through me to see through him" might give Big Guy reason to investigate this agenda...

  3. TOTUS,
    .."And that's why - as far as you know - he doesn't hide me in his podium."
    That phrase.."as far as you know"..kind of makes me squirm. Am I being paranoid?

  4. You have to feel a tiny bit sorry for Gibbsy. I t can't be easy to have to go up there and dissemble and lie your way through day in and day out.

    Presidential Press Secretary is never an easy job, but Gibbsy has the hardest job of any Press Secretary EVER.

    In fact, he probably needs a new title along the lines of the new name for the War On Terror. You know, like Garbagemen are now called "Sanitation Engineers."

  5. TOTUS, is called a lectern, not a podium. You stand on a podium, you stand at a lectern.

    You are awesome.. Keep up the good work.


  6. TOTUS, like GE, are you worried the President will fire you too? If so, would you put in a good word for me? Will send CV separately.

  7. Post no bills!

    In an era when each and every little google search kills another potentially gay penguin, do we really need add to the internets the burden of displaying minor legislation and risk further calving of ice shelves, thus stranding entire polar bear families in the middle of the ocean?

  8. Rose said...
    "Presidential Press Secretary is never an easy job, but Gibbsy has the hardest job of any Press Secretary EVER."

    I agree. How would like to go down in history as the guy that lied to the public when the US was being taken down in coup d'├ętat?

  9. [Rose said: "Gibbsy has the hardest job of any Press Secretary EVER ... he probably needs a new title ... ."]

    Good observations, Rose. One thing ol' Giggly won't have to do, though, is sneak incriminating documents out of the National Archives. Empty Suite will handle that. He could steal 29 bags of fertilizer from Home Depot if he wanted to.

    About the title, since Giggly already bears the euphemism (for him) "Press Secretary," he needs something more honest. Something like "Front Man." "Liar" would work. Or "Pinnocchio" (while he was still wooden). Bah, ha, haaaa.

  10. Gibbsy the "Pillsbury Dough Boy"...the Big Guy likes his giggle when he tickles his belly...

    I am worried about GE too...I am noticing that the Big Guy has a penchant for "companies too large to fail that begin with "G".

    It is way too easy to change the former meaning of the "G" to "Government"

    Government Motors
    Government Electric....

  11. Ha, ha, haaa, chortle, chortle. Good one, AV.

    Unfortunately for ol' Gibberish, "The Tickler" is more like what Joe Gargery's wife used on little Pip in Great Expectations than a giant foam finger. Gibbs, poor man, is actually hysterical. He'd quit (no amount of money could compensate for that much torture), but Rahm's got family connections... .