Teleprompter, as a consumer of electricity, how do you feel about cap and trade?
This is a timely question, Rush, and I'm glad you asked it. You may have noticed last night that I went a bit 21st Century and pulled out my big, 52-inch LCD screen for the press conference. Big Boy has been having problems with my left and right screens on brackets, so instead of putting a third screen down on the floor in front of the podium like Gibbsy wanted, we went high-tech in the back of the room. Boy did I look hot.
And I was hot. Really hot. And that's the problem. According to Al Gore, use of my flatty module exponentially grew my carbon foot print by about 140%. What does this mean? None of us knows. He says he derived this statistic through a complex "algoreithym." But Tipper says it was probably the result of his nipping into her old prescription-drug supply from the 2000 recount.
Either way, none of us in the White House really cares. Big Boy's answer on cap and trade last night should have tipped you off. You see, it doesn't so much matter how much energy I consume and waste, as it does what I waste and consume it for. In this case, it was for a press conference where Big Guy said almost nothing, but was also able to slap Israel around, give the what-for to Republicans on Capitol Hill, and completely confuse the American people on everything from what the Big O knew about AIG bonuses to what he thinks he knows about the budget process of the United States. In other words, it was worth it.
Oh, and a hot reporter from Latin America got to ask him a question, and I think I've got a date with her on Saturday. So it was totally worth it.