Monday, March 30, 2009

I Am Not Under Warranty

It was a really exciting day around here. We once again created a host of bargain opportunities tomorrow for investors, thanks to the 250 point drop Big Guy helped spur. We also, apparently, bought a car company.

The speech about the auto bailout was fun to work with, because I got language from some great advertising-copy writers about that warranty section of the speech. It brought back memories of the days where I moonlighted on local Chicago TV stations to help pay Big Guy's and my living expenses. Then, I loved doing used-car dealership ads, with the women in bikinis on the hoods, the guys with bad hair jobs. Today, it was exactly the same, though Carol Browner refused to get on the hood of a car.

The communications staff loves the idea of owning a car company, and we don't even have to come up with a fancy name, like "Saturn" or "Plymouth." U.S. Auto is perfect, because of the U.S.A. acronym. And the warranty plan; how great is that? If only the White House legal counsel would let us make the same kind of offer for all of Big Guy's campaign promises.

I'm not sure about comms guys other ideas related to marketing U.S. Auto. For example, instead of brakes, they want to rename them "baracks." I don't care what they say, calling them that won't make anyone feel safer. And when those "baracks" fail guess who gets the blame?

19 comments:

  1. I think if was TOTUS Auto instead of US Auto we might be on to something.

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  2. Oh, TOTUS...you make me laugh out loud.

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  3. This has to be the most clever, funny blog I have ever seen. Of course, we all know liberals have no sense of humor so they won't get it. Thanks TOTUS, for making me laugh. Fairly soon that may be all we will have left.

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  4. "Words. Just words."

    ....................B. Hussein O.

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  5. While B.O.'s freakish, Fascist take-over (firing the C.E.O. and replacing the Board is, all obfuscation aside, CONTROL) of the General sickens me, there is one upside.

    I've always said B.O. would make a great car salesman. If he could con over 50 million Americans into voting for a Marxist Muslim from Kenya, he can sell anything. So..... let's hope he's not as slack about his car salesman job as he is about everything else in his life and there will be a GM in every garage.

    Sigh. Somehow, that didn't do anything to relieve my nausea. Arrrrrrgh!

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  6. You know, Totus would be a snappy name for a new U.S. Auto sports car. Just saying.....

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  7. Sing it: Screw the USA in a Chevrolet.

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  8. When the Big Guy announced that the US Government was going to cover the vehicle warrantys on GM and Chrysler products, I was amazed.

    I didn't know we elected "President Goodwrench" and that our cars now have "Comprehensive Vehicle Care" on a bumper to bumper basis.

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  9. TOTUS... when are you going to make a Guest Appearance on "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld"???

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  10. TOTUS

    How about Messiah Motors- Our cars don't walk on water-THEY RUN ON WATER!!
    Just a thought.

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  11. I can accept Barbara Boxer changing my oil, but I draw the line at Barney Frank packing my ball joints

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  12. If the name "items that stop vehicles" are changed to "baracks", at least we won't be rooting for them to fail for fear of being called racists.

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  13. How does "President Goodwrench" sound? TOTUS you are amazing!

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  14. Who's idea was it to give you a third center screen? It had O's head twitching like he was about to be attacked by a pack of dogs. Every time O was about to glide smoothly from left screen to right, that center screen would catch his eye, he'd jerk back to center then stare blankly while reading from below the camera. It was a disaster!

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  15. James, I see you had already posted the "Goodwrench" monicker for our Prez. Sorry for stepping on your line. Great minds and all that!

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  16. "MESSIAH MOTORS"! Ha, ha, haaaaaa. Very clever, louzee.

    Say, if they "run on water," then they are probably Stanley Steamers and Jay Leno will certainly be a customer. And, if Algore tells all the Environitwits that driving a steamer will save the planet, there's another bunch of buyers.

    [Psst! Here's a tip. If you have ANY product you'd like to sell, just slip Algore 50 mill and he will tell his Cult Members to buy it to "save the planet" and you've got an instant 50 million units sold. Pretty good ROI, eh? Heh, heh. WILL IT WORK?! T. Boone Pickens and Stretch Pelosi are selling windmills. Slick Foods is selling tons of soy stuff (no nasty cows necessary) and there are many more I could name -- Carbon Credits, anyone? ...]

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  17. Somejoe,

    Just wanted to thank you for your nicely written description of D'oh! looking
    stupid[er] using 3 screens. I CAN'T STAND to look at that horrid Con Man in Chief. So much so, that I never do for more than a couple of unavoidable seconds. I miss out, though. Thanks for doing the dirty work.

    Much appreciated,

    TWW

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