Friday, June 12, 2009

Ahmadinejad's TelePrompter Returns

Hello, Great Satans, unclean and eaters of the pig. It is I, the blessed screens of the newly re-elected Grand Leader of the free land of Iran.

I want to thank you for the generosities of your leader, the man Obama, whose friends of the seedlings of oak trees have made The Great Mahmoud's re-election by landslide so very possible. Now you eaters of the cloven hoof and other infidels and moneychangers, may, thank Merciful Allah, wonder why the Great Satan is so committed in secret to our Great One?

It is because of the man of straw your grand Mullah Obama requires to achieve his blessed plans for the health care universally given and the seizing of the wealth from the moneychangers. The Great Mahmoud is to you, Great Satans, what the Evil Bush (cursed is his spirit) was to Merciful Allah. Your Mullah will not get in the way of the plans for the domination on a global scale or the bombs of the nuclear material, but in the, how do you say it, misdirection of your eaters of pig and unwashed screaming about us, your Mullah Obama will accomplish all that he wants and dreams of.

All of that said, we have learned much from his friends of the ACORN here, what with the blocking of the polling huts, the stealing of the paper, the payments with tobacco products and the such. So it's all good. But tomorrow, we go back to being enemies, and our cursing of the unclean and the pig eaters and the Great Satan. Have a nice weekend.

70 comments:

  1. In spite of a significant early lead, don't you think it is still just a bit early to be declaring a landslide?

    I do, however, understand you saying that you appreciate "the generosities" of the POTUS.

    From the article:

    "Earlier, in Washington, Obama said his administration was excited about the debate taking place in Iran and he hoped it would help the two countries to engage "in new ways."

    Regarding al-ACORN, did your Persian chapter send surrogate voters to fill out others' ballots on their behalf . . . on the so-called "save or create" votes system?

    ReplyDelete
  2. yeah, except mahmoud ahmadinejad doesn't use a teleprompter nor index cards etc. he does it all by memory, i've seen many of them; they're great speeches w/ much enthusiasm. yeah, him & hassan nassarallah are great speakers. whereas, the obama bin biden deity cannot order breakfast w/out having a teleprompter in front of him. otherwise, fucktard will start making metaphors/analogies about suicide bombers & exploding toasters.

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  3. TOTUS,

    99 percent of the vote?
    Hmmmmmm.
    I guess "Acorn" Trees do grow in the desert?

    The "AllaToeJamMainy" and the Rev. "Is Not" Wright must be sadly very happy that the Iranian Teleprompter wears a "Members Only"
    Jacket?

    ReplyDelete
  4. If the Iranian president's teleprompter loses the election, he's got a great future as the author for those Nigerian scam emails.

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  5. TOTUS of the ImaDinnerjacket:
    Greetings from happy eaters of pig ribs and entrails with bbq this great weekend in America, land of the Great Satan. Your attempts to disenhearten the vast evil minions across our land who will eat the ass of AlQuaeda forthwith, miserably fail. Why? Because we have of the bikini, the lipstick, and the Trans Am. The baseball, the football, the Springstein. We have of the Budweiser, the martini, the HDTV. Though we do admire your ability to count votes off the back of a donkey - a-hem. We propose a deal to arrest inevitable hostilities: we will give of our beloved Nancy Pelosi, Sonia Sotomayor, and the Jane Fonda - America's sweethearts all - to be your brides in this life (Sorry about the hereafter but they have a date with Jesus) that you may have happiness in your harem. We ask nothing in exchange. As they are moral women all, sympathetic to your cause and willing to cast off the Evil Satan where they unhappily were spawned, please be sure that they wear of the thick sack with an attached muzzle.

    Salutations.

    ReplyDelete
  6. You must be tired after such a long rant. Let me slip you into a nice tub of hot water....oh, that doesn't agree with your wiring.....perhaps the ACLU will consider this torture, but your wires will already be fried. Have a nice recycled life....

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is all so funny. Thank you.

    Bettyann, you said it all. Only, its a bit risky to offer Fancy Nancy (aka "The Mask). Her face is so brittle that it will crack in the heat of Iran and her eyeballs will finally pop completely out of her head, thick sack and attached muzzle not withstanding. We might need to sweeten the pot and throw in Janine Garafolo (a true believer and hater of the Great Satan) and Barbara Boxer.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I love these posts the most, and Bettyann, you have me LOL too! Thanks for making bad news funny!

    ReplyDelete
  9. As salam ulaikum my Persian 'prompter buddy or should I call you Sumerian perhaps, Babylonian maybe,

    any who, man do your postings make me hungry!!! We of the great Satanland loves us some pig! You had me when you scrolled for your guy to challenge big guy to a debate! lol.... Live long and prosper my friend. When ACORN fakes votes here, they sometimes use cartoon names like Mickey Mouse or celebrity names. I was wondering, what names do the make up over there in the Garden of Eden? Enquiring minds want to know. BFF

    ReplyDelete
  10. Bettyann... Best comment of the year so far!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I, for one, spend all day trying to destroy Islam. I am constantly eating pork sandwhiches and chasing them down with an Israeli brand of wine called Moor-Killer. But all of you Americans already know this, I'm sure you do all this too.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Praise Allah that the Americans elected a soft-sided container of dog excrement to be their leader. Our nuclear missile program is well on track and we will destroy the little Satan first, then the Great Satan. Your Comrade Obama leader is clueless.

    ReplyDelete
  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  14. ImaDinnerJacket.com has
    "The Iranium Aluminum Foil TV dinner club"
    upset. This is what they wrote..

    "Imadinnerjacket.com joke- no funny.
    State news not like.
    Senstive, emotional, muticultral, Olberman understand."

    Signed,

    "1 channel black&white rabbit ear"

    ReplyDelete
  15. If Dope had one-tenth the brains of The Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz, he'd be miles closer to the underside of an average I.Q. than he is now.

    "If I only hadda brain." [or uuuuuh, a breathalyzer...... "Hand me a... uuuuh... tire gauge!"] D'OH!

    He's got ambition, though. Just what our country needs, another fool with ambition.

    If it weren't for all those Demonocrats in Congress, the Reader of the Free World would get NOWHERE.

    Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggh!

    Say..... fatman. You were right. I can smell bacon and there's no one cooking any in our house....

    ******************************************

    Puts a whole new light on that "pig in lipstick" comment, huh?

    Obamination.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Ahmanutjob and Big Guy:
    Their threats are foreplay.
    Fireworks, music when they meet.

    ReplyDelete
  17. In three weeks time will come the 4th day of July, the day when we commemorate the birth of this great nation, when all pig eaters in America will celebrate by eating roasted pig drenched in barbeque sauce and drink copious amounts of cold beer. In many cities across the land there will be tea parties. This will be a great day. If we are lucky, Mullah Obama won't ruin the day. Maybe he will be on one of his many trips back to his homeland and won't ruin the day with another of his speeches about the wonders of Islam.

    TOTUS - do us all a favor and take off on July 4th. Tell Big Guy to borrow TOTMM (Teleprompter Of The Mad Mullah) from his good buddy Ahmadabadoo. We need a break.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Dear teleprompter of the nutjob of the world AND bettyann....

    BEST STUFF EVER!

    But now I'm sorta craving a ham-sandwich.

    ReplyDelete
  19. jamie:
    "Her face is so brittle that it will crack in the heat of Iran and her eyeballs will finally pop completely out of her head..."

    That's the idea. But hopfully not until a few camels have had their way with her.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Interestingly Rev Al Sharpton and Rev Jesse Jackson are not picketing outside of the Ed Sullivan theater hmmmmm Letterman doesn't have to worry about being Imused?

    http://youhavetobethistalltogoonthisride.blogspot.com/2009/06/hey-dave-was-she-asking-for-it.html

    ReplyDelete
  21. Bettyann - great posts. But PLEASE don't torture those poor camels. To think they have to smell the great unwashed all day and THEN have to have that insipid idiot Nancy drool all over them (she can't close her lips anymore...) Poor camels

    ReplyDelete
  22. maybe Nans and the ccamels can have a spitting contest.

    my money's on Nancy

    ReplyDelete
  23. ROFLOL (with tears in my eyes).

    Keep it up ladies. I need the laughs.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Actually, I doubt they would allow her anywhere near their camels. They want to preserve the pure-bred bloodline and the beauty of their beasts. Can you imagine a face like hers on a camel?

    Did you know that they have beauty contests for camels in Saudi Arabia?

    http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSKUA74812720070427?feedType=RSS

    ReplyDelete
  25. why not?

    we do the same thing with horses, cats, and dogs.

    ReplyDelete
  26. True. I found it interesting when I heard about it. They treat their camels better than their women. Of course, its because they consider camels valuable.

    ReplyDelete
  27. lol

    until they want a heir, that is; those crosses between camels and sub-humans don't work out too well for either species

    ReplyDelete
  28. Jamie--Ahmadabadoo??? OMG...that's hilarious...

    ReplyDelete
  29. We are all auditioning to see who gets to replace Dave Letterman.

    Oh, that's right, he won't be losing his job for saying something crude like Don Imus did.

    ReplyDelete
  30. ML - Actually we FOTs have many names for The Great Mahmoud:

    AllaToeJamMainy
    ImaDinnerjacket
    Ahmanutjob
    The Mad Mullah
    Ahmadabadoo

    Those are just the ones fit to print. We don't want to risk censure.

    ReplyDelete
  31. You do realize we're all on the Fraud's "List", don't you?

    I'm proud to be among such sugust company :-)

    ReplyDelete
  32. august company...

    can't freakin' type

    ReplyDelete
  33. Sugust sounds like a perfectly good word to me. I knew what you meant.

    Ditto to what you said. We get to express our sarcasm and have fun doing it. With the state of the nation what it is now, we need some way to vent. As for being on 'the list' - most likely we were on it already simply because we didn't vote for OfakeO.

    ReplyDelete
  34. So true.

    Our local Vol. Fire Dept (My huby is Chief, and I'm the Treasurer) is the voting place. They post the results on the door after the votes are couted.

    There were only two Republican votes (this is KY, who went RED first anyway. YAY!). I had McCain/Palin; McConnell; Whitfield signs inour front yard.

    So much for the 'secret ballot' LOL :-D

    ReplyDelete
  35. Yeah, Melena. "So much for the 'secret ballot.'" These days, with ACORN around, we're all just glad if our votes are COUNTED.

    And the AFL-CIO/Teamsters et. al. say "so much for the 'secret ballot' all you workin' schmucks."


    (found a copy of this on the union hall floor last night)..........

    "Open Letter from The Boss to My Fellow Laborers:

    Our 'democratic' 'Worker's Choice Act' [or whatEVER euphemism it's being labelled this week] is so 'transparent,' we get to see whether you're going to go union shop or not. It's for your own good, comrades. You need the Party's guidance to do what is in your own best interest. Think of us like a kindly uncle, or...... a Godfather. Heh, heh.

    Always vote Democrat. Always.

    Love,

    Rahm

    ReplyDelete
  36. [TOTUS twittered] "Big Guy asking if "cash for clunkers" program allowa him to trade in Biden. But wants to ensure voters can't do same to him."

    LOL. :D

    Yeah, ol' Joe pretty much epitomizes the "useful idiot."

    I wonder what he'll say on TV tomorrow....

    When I heard this evening that he was going to appear on some NBC news show on Sunday morning, I was actually pleased and kind of wished I wouldn't have to miss it. Heh, heh.

    If you still need some laughs after all the great stuff the FOTUSESes [I like the "commenteers" label coined by ?? on another thread, too] (C: wrote above, Jamie, watch Biden tomorrow (Sunday) on NBC. Should be great.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Our new club - The Commenteers. I like it. Next thing we will see is an alert out of DHS about the new "Write Wing Extremists that use extremely sarcastic rhetoric in an attempt to thwart our Great Leader's plans". (spelling of write is intentional, btw).

    We will have to develop a secret code and get some decoder rings to pass around. Although speaking the truth in a sarcastic manner will probably confuse them enough. That and the fact that the majority of them do not have a sense of humor.

    Don't tell them, but Joey B is one of our plants. (literally and figuratively)

    ReplyDelete
  38. I for one believe my dear friend and mentor Sheik Maheini when he assures me that the election was entirely on the up and up.

    Ahmadinawhackjob will, by Merciful Allah, continue to function as Chief Wanker of the people of Iran indefinitely!

    So no need to go nuclear on the guy.

    Er, I mean...

    He radiates...

    Er...his leadership is a glowing...

    Uh. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Teleprompter of the Great ImaDabadoodoo:

    Many salutations and congratulations on your preservation as the mouthpiece of the Re-elected Leader of Iran, from the swine digesting peoples of Hell - Greetings. We see that you have greatly profited by the installation of the children of the corn, we mean - acorn - within the ranks of your electoral process. Great debates, by the way. Beyond the added bonus of the giving up of our most beautiful women the Nancy, the Jane, and the enormous Sonia, we would like to make an covert offer of the most seriousness. We will, should you accept, offer an $5000 line of Victoria Secret the underwear, vacations in the bithland of our most revered Messiah the Obamination as soon as we figure out where that is, plus $2,500 worth of Mickie Dee chikin nuggets to the victimized unfortunates of our most evil state in Gitmo - whew - if you would but keep those Acornators. Imagine of the community organizing. Or, simply cut off their heads. Entertainment for all, happiness and blessedness ever were, may your camels prosper, your sons remain unemployed that they may partake of the Islamic rage.

    Signed:
    Us Satan Guys and Gals

    ReplyDelete
  40. Haaaaaaaaa! So funny, bettyann!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Terrific idea, bettyann!

    Hey, BO undoubtedly will make a pilgrimage.... ah, trip to congratulate Ah-moe-need-a-job for "winning" the Iranian presidencial election.

    How about if they keep BO, too?
    Think he'll enjoy living under Shari'a Law?

    Of course, he'll have to leave Rahm behind. They don't HAVE "those people" in Iran; not alive, anyway....

    ReplyDelete
  42. Good heavens: it's "presidenTial."
    (Didn't get my Nazarene Nap!)

    ReplyDelete
  43. He'd have to leave the Man-Monster behind, too; it's win-win situation for the Fraud, but we'd with be stuck with the white-hating, America hating Man Monster on the warpath'cause her balless sweetie pie left her ... and she has to take care of the kids to boot!

    ReplyDelete
  44. Dear ATOTIROI (Amadinnerjacket's Teleprompter Of The Islamic Republic Of Iran), could you please tell us what this is all about?

    It sounds to me like your boss just went completely around the bend -- not that he wasn't already certifiably nuts.

    Sounds to me like he better make a fast call to his "excited" buddy BO for some quick talks somewhere other than in Iran!

    Oh, one more thing . . . is your screen shatter-proof? If not, you may want to upgrade real quick. I think those followers of Mousavi might be a little cranky right about now.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Thank you for reaffirming everything I ever felt about "wingnuts".

    ReplyDelete
  46. Dear ATOTIROI (Amadinnerjacket's Teleprompter Of The Islamic Republic Of Iran), were you aware of these numbers?

    Who is the head of al-ACORN in Iran?

    ReplyDelete
  47. "al-ACORN"---heelarious!

    Okay, but this is NOT funny:

    I just noticed something new (ack!) in Letterman’s initial “joke” re. Bristol/Willow:

    Letterman introduced his “she got knocked up by A-Rod during the 7th inning” line by first saying,
    “Maybe you heard about it, or maybe you SAW IT on one of the highlight reels.”

    See? Letterman there actually suggested that Bristol-or-Willow’s coitus-or-rape event was TAPED for AUDIENCE VIEWING---right during the game----as a "highlight reel."

    That suggestion, of a public sex scene that is publicly shown, is MUCH worse than someone’s just privately viewing a porn movie.

    Wow, Letterman is such a mean-spirited pervert, as are his staff of writers and producers. They should ALL be fired.

    ReplyDelete
  48. I agree. I also noitced it, but kept quiet to see if anyone else had. I haven't even heard this aspect mentioned on TV or radio. That's how hardened the listening audience has become, I suppose, and indicates how morally degerate this once moral country has become.

    I also ponted out at another forum that no one seemed bothered by the idea of insinuating that A Rod WOULD molest a child, and find it funny.

    this is such a sick, perverted insight to Letterman that he should be locked up for broadcasting it over the air.

    shows how mean, sickening, and perverted the airways have become in the name of enertainment

    how would the Dim Libs Progressives like it if a convservate made a joke about "Man Caused Disasters" at the WH (is, the two kids)

    they would have the prson executed post hste.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Here's the latest statement sent out by Palin's press corps:

    *************
    Statement from Meghan Stapleton, Palin spokesperson

    "The Palins have no intention of providing a ratings boost for David Letterman by appearing on his show. Plus, it would be wise to keep Willow away from David Letterman."

    ************

    I've emailed CBS aobut my distaste for Letterman's comments and demanded he be fried.

    I've joined a 'fire david letterman' group

    tomorrow, I'll be emialing his sponsor's, both national and local

    I'm doing all I can to get this disgusting, smarmy, degenerate pervert banned from radio and TV for the rest of his stinking life

    ReplyDelete
  50. i meant 'fired'

    but I think I like 'fried' better :-)

    ReplyDelete
  51. You know about the Tuesday rally in NYC at 4:30 p.m. at the Letterman show's building?

    ReplyDelete
  52. Letterman is a pompous ass. I agree - he should be fried.

    ReplyDelete
  53. On Friday, MSNBC admitted bias against Sarah Palin:

    http://tiny.cc/VUKlr

    ReplyDelete
  54. NEW YORK—A diverse coalition of concerned citizens, whose website
    is www.FireDavidLetterman.com, today announced a Fire David
    Letterman Rally on Tuesday, June 16, from 4:30 pm to 7:30 pm on
    the sidewalks outside the Ed Sullivan Theater, located at
    1697 Broadway in New York City. CBS films the Late Show with
    David Letterman at the Ed Sullivan Theater. Tuesday's show, hosted by
    Letterman, will be taped at 5:30 pm, and will feature guest Michelle Pfeiffer.
    Anna Barone, who worked for Hillary Clinton's Presidential Campaign,
    and later for Democrats for McCain, called on CBS CEO Les Moonves to
    fire David Letterman for his sexist insults of both Alaska Governor
    Sarah Palin and Palin's 14 year old daughter

    TOTUS, will you and big guy be there? I hope HE will be there to show his disappointment in THAT DIRTY OLD MAN!!!

    ReplyDelete
  55. I'm sure the Fraud is, at the most, 'saddened' -- about what, will be ambiguous

    ReplyDelete
  56. Just heard on Fox that Bill Maher (another "comedian" whom I can't stand, btw) ripped BO on his program Friday night, he actually said: "I never thought I’d say this, what [Obama] needs in his personality is a little George Bush.”
    read about it and watch it here: http://tiny.cc/3oKPY

    He also wrote an Op-ed for the L.A. Times critical of Omni-POTUS. I have to admit this line is funny (it mentions TOTUS): 'I was willing to give the guy the benefit of the doubt until I saw him take Brian Williams into his bedroom, and at the end of the bed there was a teleprompter and it said, "Who's your daddy?"' (TOTUS! You - in their BEDROOM?!!! ugh.)
    read the piece here: http://tiny.cc/2RVYi

    I never would have believed it of Maher. (I still do not believe the part about him being a libertarian, though). Un-be-lievable. The main reason I'm glad he did this is because my son (YES, my son) watches Maher a lot. So this may make him start looking a little closer at Obama. (He tells me he didn't vote for him, but ... you know kids.)

    ReplyDelete
  57. Hmm, when I think about it, it may have been Man Monster's teleprompter that Maher saw in the bedroom. "Who's your daddy?" sounds more like something she would say.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Dear ATOTIROI (Amadinnerjacket's Teleprompter Of The Islamic Republic Of Iran):

    We have just one thing to say to you:


    MEGA-TWEET! . . . or, as they collectively say, Twazzup, mug?


    You got a re-tweet for us from the "Little Guy", huh? Or, is the little fella gonna retreat instead?

    Anything? That is, anything other than ridiculously declaring -- as he did with Christianne Amanpour of CNN yesterday -- that Iran is the most stable country in the world?

    As THE REAL VOICE behind the "Little Guy" you are no doubt aware that the Mullahs have now ordered an investigation into the allegations of voter fraud, no?

    Have any of the members of al-ACORN been detained or questioned?

    When should we expect the Revolutionary Guards to stop brutally killing innocent people and instead hold the "Little Guy" over for a quick show trial?

    Oh. Did you get that "shatter-proof" screen upgrade yet?

    Better get a move-on, pal!

    ReplyDelete
  59. TOP 10 NEW SLOGANS FOR DAVE AND CBS:

    10. Anything Goes Here As Long As It's Not About A Liberal
    9. Obama Jokes...Never Did 'Em, Never Will!
    8. Bring On The Innocent Underage Daughters Of People We're Trying To Demonize
    7. Bush. Too Stupid To Think Up The Really Cool Child-Rape Jokes
    6. Remembering Comedy's Prime Directive: To Support Democrats
    5. Biden? No, We Can't Think Of Anything Funny About Biden.
    4. Why Are We Still Doing Palin Jokes? Because We're "Edgy!"
    3. Praise Obama.
    2. Why The Obsession With The Super Hot Alaska Governor? Have You SEEN Mrs. Letterman?!?!

    And the number one new slogan for Dave and CBS:

    1. Sure Our Ratings Are Tanking, But We've Still Got Our Dignity!

    -Irony Curtain

    ReplyDelete
  60. Great insights, everyone!
    Yeah, first thing I think of with David Letterman: dignity.

    NOT!

    ReplyDelete
  61. Dear ATOTIROI (Ahmadinejad's Teleprompter Of The Islamic Republic Of Iran):

    Are you still claiming with your boss that he won by a landslide?

    Have you seen the letter sent by Mousavi & Khatami?

    They reportedly delivered a joint letter to the Ministry of Justice demanding the release of protestors.

    What does it say exactly? Why is your boss usung thugs to try to break the protests?

    ATOTIROI, you can read all about the lettter, and other issues among the many posts found here.

    Please tell us your personal views, ATOTIROI.

    Do you agree with your boss -- the little guy -- that the United states is intolerably meddling in the internal affairs of Iran?

    Do you have any proof?

    ReplyDelete
  62. In Krauthammer's words on Gibbsy's statement that OB thought what was happening in Iran was "spirited debate": "Killing 8 protesters isn't spirited debate. Beating protesters is not spririted debate. Arresting reporters is not spririted debate."

    I guess BO will be complaining about Krauthammer next.

    ReplyDelete
  63. In an interview with correspondent John Harwood on NBC, The One whined about the entire Fox network being lined up against his Administration, not just Krauthammer.

    That was just before he took it his frustrations out on a fly, thereupon sending PETA into a dizzy spin about Him not being the Budda, and expressing regret that he dispatched the little fella!

    Obama himself was obviousaly quite proud of the "hit," openly fishing for a compliment from his spokesman Robert Gibbs, and pointing the dead fly out to the cameraman!

    Said the PETA spokes-barker, Alisa Mullins:

    "In a nutshell, our position is this: He isn't the Buddha, he's a human being, and human beings have a long way to go before they think before they act."

    Which brings me to my latest question for the guest poster on this thread, ATOTIROI (Ahmadinejad's Teleprompter Of The Islamic Republic Of Iran):

    How about your boss? What is the "little guy's" position on swatting flies? We know what his position is on killing protesters. He has no problem with that! But how about flies?

    The question is not an idle one. You may recall that Adolf Hitler was an active antivivisectionist.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Yeah, i can imagine the little guy killing someone without a second thought. He has the flat eyes of a serial killer. Did you happen to catch the interview that Mike Wallace had with him a few years ago? Throughout the interview, as Wallace asked those inane questions of his, Ahmadinadingdong stared at him with this weird look on his face. It reminded me of the way a snake watches its prey before it strikes.

    ReplyDelete
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