Monday, June 8, 2009

Warning: Objectification of Female Teleprompters Ahead

As Big Guy and I spent a little time in France I've watched this outrageous story unfolding in the U.S. about this disgusting "Playboy" article in which the author claims to want to do hurtful things of a sexual nature to conservative women. Well, that got me thinking. There are a number of TelePrompters in politics and media I have long lusted after. And while some may accuse me of objectifying female TelePrompters, what can I say? We're objects. So here's my list of paramours:
  • FaceLift 1, Nancy Pelosi's Teleprompter: She's a bit uptight, but when she hears my Barry White and sees my rotating bed with the silk leopard bedspread I borrowed from Big Guy, her hard drive will melt. 
  • Ghostwriter 1, Williams Ayers' TelePrompter: She's got '60s radical chic scrolling all over her. And while she hasn't bathed in years, when you're an inanimate object, you take what you can get. 
  • RINO 1, Olympia Snowe's Teleprompter: She loves to trip the light fantastic ... and she's double-jointed. 
  • Splash 2, Ted Kennedy's Replacement Teleprompter Post-Chappaquiddick: Let it go forth from this time and place that she mixes a mean whiskey sour that really sweetens the mood. 
  • Plugs 1, Joe Biden's Teleprompter: Once you wipe the crayon doodlings off her screens, and reboot the hard drive from dis-use, she's kind of cute. 
  • Big Red 1, Keith Olbermann's Teleprompter: You know those "Housewives of New Jersey"?  Just like them, but without the charm or social graces. And the attitude ... Now that I think about it, I wouldn't upload with her with a ten-foot-extension cord.  
  • Topless 1, Nicholas Sarkozy's Teleprompter: What? You're surprised? And those silicon chips? All original. 
  • Gray Lady 1, Margaret Thatcher's Telepromtour: Classy, and with those British spellings running across her screen, she's Kate Winslet to my Leonardo DeCaprio. 
  • Gipper 1, Ronald Reagan's Teleprompter: Best scroll in the hay I ever had. 


  1. bettyann

    Off topic but here's why there was no dinner with the Sarkozys in Paris.

  2. all too good totus, but you watch yourself, i don't want you being accused of any sexual harrassments!!!

  3. Excellent! You're a rascal, were you ever employed in the Clinton administration?

  4. Oh, dear TOTUS!
    I'm not so sure I like hearing about your TelePromptier Fantasies...but, I am glad you at least have the temperance to avoid those which lead to std's.

  5. TOTUS....Mom is worried. Are you using a surge protector? You don't want to catch the dreaded STD, Static That Destroys text.

  6. Tennismom2, funniest comment. Ever.

  7. tennismom2 - you know TOTUS would never have unprotected text!

  8. Thomas...

    I saw that picture. Talk about dark looks. Remember the old saying - "If looks could kill". Literally here - Lady M's looks (her face) AND the evil glance she is giving Carla. And here I believed everything I had read about her "fondness" for Carla! All the cheek kissing.

  9. TOTUS:
    You devil. Now you've gone and broken poor Lighthouse's heart after I stepped aside in your better interest.

    Because she forgot to take her "nice" pill?

    Gads, what a gaff. A picture paints a thousand words. Look at the anger lines between her eyes. That is a woman who scowls in her sleep.

  10. Totus, you are too funny! That must be your charm with the teleprompter babes...

  11. You're killing me. Priceless, absolutely priceless.

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