Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Today Show Interview Part 1

I had the pleasure of virtually sitting down with the lovely and talented Jamie Gangel of NBC News for an interview via the Internets. Unfortunately, much of our high level, insightful interview made it on the cutting room floor. Following are excerpts from the interview, which I'll be posting over the next couple of days.

Why does the President use you so much?
I LIKE TO THINK OF MYSELF AS A HIGH-TECH HELPING HAND.

But other Presidents have not used you so much?
NO OTHER PRESIDENT HAS BEEN SO PRESCIENT AS TO USE ME THIS OFTEN, NOR HAS ANY OTHER PRESIDENT FACED SO MANY HISTORIC CHALLENGES THAT REQUIRE HIM TO SAY SO MUCH TO SO MANY SO INTERMINABLY OFTEN.

Good use of the word “prescient.” Where did you go to college?
MY HARD DRIVE IS FROM STANFORD BUT MY SCREENS WERE MADE FROM RECYCLED MILLER HIGH LIFE BOTTLES FROM A SIGMA ALPHA EPSILON FRATERNITY PARTY AT COLUMBIA WHERE I FIRST MET BIG GUY.

Your slogan is, "There is no POTUS without TOTUS! Isn’t that a little arrogant?
I WOULDN’T FIT IN VERY WELL WITH BIG GUY AND HIS CREW IF I WERE OTHERWISE. KEEP IN MIND THAT BIG GUY AND I COME FROM HUMBLE ROOTS – THE STREETS OF CHICAGO, WHERE EXTENSION CORDS WERE SHORT AND ATTENTION SPANS WERE SHORTER. GETTING THIS FAR THIS FAST, WE’RE ALL ALLOWED TO BE A LITTLE ARROGANT.

16 comments:

  1. I'm an SAE from USC and we never drank Miller High Life. It was always Coors. Just to set the record straight.

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  2. THAT'S ARROGANT? Anybody check out Toes, Joey B, or BIG GUY lately? It's a good thing there's no White House football team...no company in the world makes helmets big enough for those heads...

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  3. ML...a White house football team would actually get more positive coverage than Payton Manning...they'd be the first team to ever achieve that!

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  4. Recycled Miller High Life bottles. LOL!

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  5. You have every right to arrogance now that you will be the official TOTUS of the All-Barack Channel. Good luck next week!

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  6. TOTUS,

    I have a question? Have you always been the Big Guy's words? By that I mean, has he EVER said anything without you present? Has he ever lent you out to others? Did you ever get to scroll for Jerry Wright, or Bill Ayers? What was that like? I'm sure it wasn't much of a stretch.

    Would you testify under oath that in 20 years you never heard Jerry spout off about us crackers?

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  7. Love it love it! I don't know how you do it but you're freakin' brilliant. I need a totus t-shirt.

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  8. TOTUS, I was thinking with your brain/hard-drive, you must have a record of Big Guy toasting terrorist Rashid Khalidi at a resaurant in 2003. If the LA Times won't produce the video, any chance you can get a copy for us? Thanks!

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  9. "THAT REQUIRE HIM TO SAY SO MUCH TO SO MANY SO INTERMINABLY OFTEN"

    Interminably true!!

    I'll bet he's the best tennis-watcher in the world!

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  10. TOTUS, you really are living the High Life.

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  11. Q: Why does the President use you so much?

    ANSWER: Because he is the Reader of the Free World.

    *******************

    Sigh. I suppose you had to sidestep that one for security (as in job) purposes, huh, TOTUS?

    That sure was a gimme.

    Answer: BECAUSE THE GUY'S A BIG DOPE WITH THE IQ OF A PEA.

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  12. Good use of the word “prescient.”

    LOL.

    Dumb reporter.

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  13. "Your slogan is, "There is no POTUS without TOTUS! Isn’t that a little arrogant?

    I WOULDN’T FIT IN VERY WELL WITH BIG GUY AND HIS CREW IF I WERE OTHERWISE."

    ***********************************

    That was EXCELLENT, TOTUS. SLAM-DUNK. WAY TO GO!! :D

    Sure wish I could think on my feet (er, stand) like you do. That's why you are TOTUS and I'm just a FOTUS (or a "Commenteer," heh, heh).

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  14. TOTUS:
    You certainly have a way with words. About those historic challanges: Big Guy's need of you is perfectly understandable. With all of his fingers in every American pie - past, present and future - he surely has no time to be a real, sincere, selfless and responsible president. Tearing down a great republic is no small feat. Easing a free people lightly into socialism withtout their realizing it is something only a great Messiah could accomplish. Then of course there is the media's adulation to cope with - "sigh". So much to do, so little time. TOTUS, you are a tower of strength.

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