Thursday, June 18, 2009

Aloha, Dear Leader

Big Guy and I just got out of a national security briefing, where we heard about North Korea's plan to launch a missile that could reach Hawaii later this summer.

This, of course, upset Big Guy. Because Hawaii is kind of his home state, when California, Illinois, New York, Mississippi, Vermont, Washington, Oregon or Malaysia aren't, but also because it screws up his vacation and date night plans in the Bahamas.

But Rahm told him there might be a silver-lining. If we do nothing to block the missile, out of fear, some tourists might cancel on reservations for some really primo ocean-view rooms that Big Guy can snatch up on Hotwire.

It's a win-win for citizens of the world. Big Guy gets a really nice rest back home. And Dear Leader gets a missile launch to help him with his self-esteem issues.

42 comments:

  1. If only the President could be as tough and decisive with North Korea as he was with that fly! What a man!

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  2. No reason to get upset. It's just a few islands, right? :-(

    TOTUS, maybe you could scroll something about a missile defense shield at your next speech?

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  3. Wait, I thought he was just a boy from Kansas...

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  4. If a missile hit Hawaii it could conveniently destroy Obama's birth records. How tragic.


    But really...President Bush is sorely missed right about now. He'd be right there to shove those Dingdong missiles (or whatever they're called) right down N. Korea's throat.

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  5. Is Malaysia the 58th state? It must've been either an honorary admittance to the Union in honor of Big Guy's coronation or a provision of the stimulus bill / bailout.

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  6. Pul-ease...we from Kansas don't want to claim him!

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  7. TOTUS, Big Guy isn't thinking clearly again.

    See, if Hawaii is hit, that might help Shortie in N. Korea with his self-esteem iss-shews---but the missile strike might also RUIN those Hot Hotels Big Guy wants to "experience."

    So obviously, TOTUS, BO needs your help with forecasting Unintended Consequences, okay?
    Help him face certain Inconvenient Truths!

    Now about his "helpful" health care plans: you know, the ones that are FREE----and WORTH EVERY TRILLION!?

    (Sincere apologies to Groucho Marx.)

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  8. A few observations:

    The Big Guy is not from any of those previously mentioned states. He resides in the state of confusion.

    With the possible annihilation of Hawaii and that state's predictability to vote for BHO (BHO should not in any way be confused with USA. They are polar opposites. As usual, I digress.)I am sure the Big Guy will write a really tough letter. This letter will contain extremely tough words.

    I think after hearing of Kim's plan to launch, Hillary was toppled and broke her elbow. Rumor has it that she has an inflamed wenus too. I hope her free health care provides the same health care that every American can count on.

    Team America and Kim Jung il once again life imitating art. "I'm so wone weee"

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  9. From the look of things, B.O. is more upset with Fox News than with N. Korea.

    Maybe he's not worried about it, figuring he can just pluck the missile out of the sky with his bare hands.

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  10. Or pierce it with a divine look of disapproval.

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  11. I am thinking he will do some serious smiting!
    After all, isn't that what God (he) has done for eons?

    When he smites, does he put is hand to his chin as if to ponder the method by which he will smite? Or does he just touch his forefinger to his thumb and extend it thusly?

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  12. TOTUS, how about scrolling this for B.O. at his next press circle jerk:

    "If North Korea launches a missile at Hawaii, we launch a missile at Pyongyang. Ours won't fall short. Have a nice day."

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  13. I thought for sure N. Korea would pick one of the other 58 states to point the missile.

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  14. TOTUS, Dear, are all Gibbsy's cravats pink?

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  15. ...and is there a Mr or Mrs Gibbsy who picks them out for him?

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  16. I already address the administrations defense cuts including missile defense on my political blog. I've just posted a discussion on the current health care issue.

    John's Space

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  17. B.O. probably is mad that his flashy pearly whites ain't winning over Korea. Maybe he should write a book about it.

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  18. We don't need no stinkin' missile defense system! We have the almighty BHO! He will just have to find the time to make yet another inspiring speech to the masses. And if that doesn't sway them, he can send Sir Hillary, in a pastel pink pants suit with her arm in a matching cast and sling, to strike a deal: NK stops making nukes and shooting missiles and the great Satan will build a nuclear reactor (to be used only for peaceful purposes, of course), provide them with fuel, and ... wait a minute, Bill tried that and it didn't work... - NK lied! (imagine that). Oh never mind, the speech will work. No one is immune to his powers of persuasion.

    Susan, I doubt there is a Mrs. Gibbsy - have you seen how the man up close?

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  19. BTW - PETA is pretty po'd about the killing of the fly! Statement: "We support compassion even for the most curious, smallest and least sympathetic animals."

    But they forgave him since it just proves he isn't perfect. The group says it approves of his denouncement of factory farming and Canadian seal hunting, as well as his wife Michelle's stance against wearing fur.

    Idiots.

    Someone needs to tell Man Monster so she can shave.

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  20. should use Big Mo's fat ass to block the missile. God knows, I mean Allah knows, it's big enough. The press alwways comments on the size of her arms. Do they notice the size of her ass? Must have some work out routine to get that large.

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  21. well totus if n. korea does launch a missle at hawaii, they will have only 56 more united "states" to go after!!!

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  22. You thinks its big now, give her time. Pretty soon they will have to super-size the seats on Air Force One.

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  23. No, Jamie,
    It will not be a matching pastel sling. It will be black to draw attention to Meeee. Meeee. Meeee! Look at Meeee.

    So, are you saying there is a MR.(!) Gibbsy?

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  24. LOL!!

    Dang, ya'll are mean.

    :)

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  25. Yeah, my daughter once told me that I was mean, too, when I made a crack about some other politician. Oh well. I'm pretty old, so I can get away with it most of the time. Bettyann, YOU, my friend, are too funny. You crack me up on a routine basis. you, too, Melena.

    Guess Sir Hillary had better learn to watch her step, or next time it might be a knee. Wonder if Big Guy asked her if she enjoyed her trip?

    Last, but not least, the WH is now saying that the firing of that IG (the old guy) was "an act of political courage". OMG, what a load of crap. I hear now that they have also fired two other IGs. So much for that law that BHO sponsored last year.

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  26. jamie:
    As Rush said today, we have a Chicago thug in the WH. Breaking the law is now equated with "political courage".

    I predict that as popular as he has been, this will backlash. By the end of four years the love with which they loved him, will become hate. Remember the Emperor's New Cloths - age old human wisdom remains just that.

    So where is Hillary? It is easy to talk the talk when your precedant was a bad ass, a man to be feared - I refer to Condi Rice. Hillary is a joke in her shoes. She must be a joke to herself. She should just retire now. Please. They were scared of Condi and George and Dick; the Obamination, with that Dumb Blonde B*tch still married to Slick Willy, and Biden the Incompetent Savant - give me a break. Who is there to fear but fear itself?

    Imagine yourself four feet three by four feet three with a lingering crush on Janet Reno.

    http://z.about.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/o/B/reno_fearfactor.jpg

    Hillary can't hold a candle to Janet, poor thing. But Oh how she love the machine.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJQ4eBVU8jY

    America just isn't what it used to be and beautiful women like Janet are rare. If you were Kim you'd push the button, too.

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  27. Was it Big Mo that played the Wanda character in the 80's show In Living Color?

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  28. Hey, Big Guy can achieve a dream...He can be the new FDR. The last time there were explosions in Hawaii at the hands of a foreign country, FDR got A LOT of press for 4 years...I don't know if Gibbsy can handle it...

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  29. That Dear Leader is really starting to grind my gears more than usual.

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  30. Greg J, the problem is that sounds too much like Reagan...

    I would LOVE to hear that though!

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  31. TGIF Week In Review "Tipping Points"

    http://youhavetobethistalltogoonthisride.blogspot.com/2009/06/tgif-circus-life-tipping-points-not.html

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  32. Now why do ya think Obambi would send, of all the vessels at His Godship's disposal, the huge JOHN MCCAIN ship to fight the N Korean Leetle Guy?

    Does Dopey BO actually think that, if something goes wrong with the mission, he can blame McCain?
    I wouldn't put it past him.

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  33. It's likely that it was the one within range, and a brutal irony.

    I've really been bothered about North Korea's motivation. It can't be that they want to get stomped in a war with us. There has to be something else going on that hasn't yet been revealed.

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  34. Possibly there's a connection with China's goals; it runs N. Korea, and also China wants to take us over without having to fire a shot (that could ruin some of our resources).

    Plus, who can make sense out of anything Bitsy Kim SO ILL does? He's certifiably insane. He is physically sick, too----possibly dying.

    So SO ILL probably wants to go out with a bang. A BIG one or more, just to prove he really was taller and more virile. Think NUTS----both kinds!
    ;->

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  35. Hey MountainMama, I had the same thought about him sending the John McCain.

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  36. Kim Bunghole is just agitated that he hasn't gotten his bailout/stimulus check yet.

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  37. I like how Toes thinks! The man always has an angle. Brilliant mind.

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