Thursday, May 7, 2009

The Three Wise Men

I'm still recovering from the meeting with former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich, and his brother from another mother, Al Sharpton. I say this jokingly, but after watching the two of them in action in the same room at the same time, especially with food around them, you'd wonder, too.

Which was why we invited them - along with the skinny mayor from New York - to the White House after lunch. But they arrived together both demanding snack trays. Cheese, crackers, cookies, the turkey for tonight's dinner with all the sides, gone in under 20 minutes. What was more impressive was Newt's ability to eat a turkey leg, measure the drapes in the Oval, and operate his 45-slide PowerPoint presentation on himself, which segued into a 45-slide presentation on education reform, all at the same time.

It's not clear what Reverend Al was doing here, but we couldn't help but notice that all of the White House M&Ms were missing after he left. Big Guy was so shaken by the experience of sitting with the three of them, that he accidentally signed an extension on the DC school voucher program without noticing it. If this strategy weren't so elegant, I'd swear the Republicans dreamed it up.


  1. Likely making him wish he'd paricipated in National Day of Prayer after all, huh?

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  3. Now TOTUS, don't you think Big Guy was even more shaken because Newt managed to lead the Republican revolution and caused Clinton to balance the budget in the '90's? He probably was scared of Newt's logical comments on how cutting defense spending while increasing entitlements is soooooo NOT Reagan-esque.

  4. Whoa Totus. You telling me you don't salivate and slobber (however the heck you do that) when you detect another coal seam strip-mined from Mother Earth?

    Al Gore is more than secure enough in himself to spew CO2 from his private jet rides, maintain a 20-room Tennesse mansion that sucks e- like 12 normal homes, and snub Earth Hour by leaving all his lights on.

    So I think maybe you are a little worried that folks are going to catch on to your mega-watt sized appetite and notice you don't recycle text like ... campaign promises. You lose those promises in "lost clusters" on disk?

    You know that acknowledging and accepting you have a problem is the first step towards healing. Like the process: denial, anger, bargaining, depress, and acceptance? And Washington is full of very supportive folks who want to help. But you have to WANT TO HELP YOURSELF!

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