Friday, March 20, 2009

Another Screen Shot with Rush

Now that The Big O has pretty much ruined the Friday afternoon bowling league for everyone here, we're all heading over to the Old Ebbitt for Tim Terrific's surprise going-away party. Oops.

But before I leave, I thought we'd close the week with another question from El Rushbo

Are you paid with taxpayer money, and if so, did you have to fill out Obama's questionnaire before you were hired?
Damn straight I am. And I earn every last yuan of it. What? You think Rahm, Ben and Timmah, don't see the writing on the wall?

And as for the questionaire, let's put it this way: I've known Big Boy since he's been called Barry. I've hung with him at Columbia, drunk tea with him at Harvard, walked the lonely streets of Chicago, been there when he's refinanced his interest-only mortgage ... twice, and inserted earmarks to get Michelle her sweet gig back home. If My Man doesn't have to fill out a background questionare, I know I don't.

67 comments:

  1. EVERY YUAN!

    bwaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha!

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  2. I hear that you are cheating on the Telepromptress. She's talking about it here:
    http://girlfriendoftotus.wordpress.com/

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  3. Where were you manufactured? Are you an American born teleprompter, or some Chinese Henry Kissinger?

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  4. Check out Obama's REAL love at ObamasBlackBerry Blog or BaracksBlackberry Blog. Tele P. is just a reflection - "The Ones" true soul is his BlackBerry.

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  5. (posted in the wrong thread)
    You evaded the best-there-ever-was vetting process? You're paid in yuan?
    - Are you the Manchurian teleprompter?
    - Are you so uniquely indispensible that you got one of them rare tele-lobbyist exemptions?
    - Did Turbo Tax Timmah do your taxes?
    - Just how much in back taxes do you owe?

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  6. i have NEVER read anymore more funny than this. is it my BIRTHDAY? i am howling! please never stop.

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  7. When are you going to help Your Man get his foot out of his mouth and his head out of his, er, the clouds? He's got to know by now that the last thing the POTUS should do is offend every people group on the planet, including those who care about them, as in the case of the Special Olympics. What the hen was that about?

    See what you can do.

    Mrs. N.

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  8. The REALITY is...I have been with The One every step of the way! You'll never see me "photo-shopped" in pictures at the beach or taking a walk with big "O." No sir. I'm with him all the time! For Real!!! See me at BaracksBlackberry Blog.

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  9. TOTUS:

    First off, pardon me for my ignorance, my questions are simply an effort to try and get to know you better.

    Does Barry only see what you have to say in black and white, or are you able to pull colors from the full pallet?

    Also, what is your favorite resolution? When inactive for periods of time, are you allowed to go into "sleep" mode, or are you always, er... , on so to say?

    Thanks in advance for satisfying my unending thirst for information...

    Peace out ...

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  10. TOTUS, thank you for your frank and open answers to Rush's questions.

    I am wondering when Rush will have you on for an interview. I'd like to see some live follow ups and debate between you two.

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  11. Great stuff.

    In your honor:
    http://baracksteleprompter.tumblr.com/

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  12. Hi Tele. Where are we going tonight?

    :)

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  13. I called in on Rush's show this afternoon and was on! (I talked about Enron.) Somehow, it only makes me long for you more, TOTUS.

    Yours truly,

    Cara E.

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  14. I am crying. This is the most funniest thing I've read in ages. Keep it up, TOTUS.

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  15. What's all the hub-bub about this DIVERSION called Totus. Come see Barack's real alter ego at ObamasBlackBerry.blogspot.com

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  16. TOTUS......word on the street is that Jack Bauer is minutes away from cutting your belligerent, destructive power cord in two!

    http://theconservativegardener.blogspot.com/

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  17. TOTUS!! will you marry me? I love how you manipulate the Great One. YOU are not a kool-aid drinker. I have long had an affinity for the "man behind the curtain".

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  18. That is great you know him so well.

    So, do you know where his birth certificate, college transcripts, graduate school transcript, and college thesis are, and who in the hell paid for his college.

    http://franklinslocke.blogspot.com/

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  19. Kathyrnstuard,

    hey back off gal, he's mine.

    i got it covered at http://girlfriendoftotus.wordpress.com

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  20. This blog is racist, of course. Not to mention a Distraction from Real Issues, like the growing Arugula Crisis which was caused by global warming created by Karl Rove and Ken Lay who directed the illegal war for oil in New Orleans by blowing up the levees that protected the snail darter from tax cuts for the rich while firing cruise missiles into the World Trade Center in order to establish a Christianist theocracy in Hollywood and force us to watch reruns of "7th Heaven" while eating Alar-laced apples and drinking radioactive fluoridated water from Three Mile Island that originated in the Gulf of Tonkin.

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  21. Oh My You Have Been Working Overtime TOTUS.

    http://ace.mu.nu/archives/284665.php

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  22. Here the REAL "Skinny" about that gutter-ball on Leno at: http://obamasblackberry.blogspot.com/

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  23. Ohhhh.... please PLEASE always make certain you have back up batteries! I don't want to miss an instant of this!

    (This is the funniest thing I have read in years!)

    Keep it real and debugged!

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  24. Hey mwalimu_d:

    Thanks for bringing up the Gulf of Tonkin.

    If I'm on "Who Doesn't Want To Be A Millionaire", you're going to be one of my lifelines.

    Thanks.

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  25. Totus,

    I want to know how you felt when he addressed the Iranian's today, how did Barry have such a perfect arabic accent? Did you do that? or was that him running off the cuff?

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  26. OTUS,
    I know it's off topic, but could you please tell POTUS to be more niggardly with the taxpayers' dollars!
    Thanks little buddy :)

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  27. Good stuff! And yeah, what's with no American flag again???

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  28. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  29. I referred Leonard Pitts to you for a clue. Hope you don't mind. Can you stay dark until it's over?

    http://moneyrunner.blogspot.com/

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  30. So, was that really you on the beach? Man, you look good. I could stand to lose 15 pounds myself. What's your secret?

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  31. Tell TOTUS what to tell POTUS what to say:


    {ObamaPrompter}

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  32. Sorry, TOTUS, but Obama no longer needs you:

    http://nobamanation.wordpress.com/

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  33. Laffin uproariously!
    Hey 'Teleprompter', you're the best. I'd like to link you up under that word whenever I make a crack about Obamanator's codependency in my own blog....unless that buggs you.

    I'm at Pharmphun.

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  34. Dearest TOTUS,
    I am a huge fan of the special olympics and have a sister who is a World Winter Games Gold Medalist! GO Special Olympians! Anyway, Good ol' Barry's Special Olympics Gaff could have been completely avoided had You The TOTUS been able to steer Barry O' in the right direction! keep up the good work, Heaven knows the Liberals need you! -Lee

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  35. Dear Totus,
    I am concerned about second-hand smoke from Big Guy's Kool's fogging up your beautiful face.
    Is someone around to clean you, or do you have to do that for yourself?

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  36. Totus,

    Will your kids work with Barry's kids at their elite private run of the mill $50K a year kinda like a public school?

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  37. This blog is hilarious! Thanks for some much needed comic relief!

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  38. I only hope that your numbers dont fall like o's. you need a separate poll.

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  39. Uh... (cough) TOTUS.... uh... your girlfriend started a blog. No, its NOT me undercover... but she is sounding a bit lonely, thought I would let you know.... http://girlfriendoftotus.wordpress.com/2009/03/20/hello-i-am-telepromptress/

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  40. Stop talking about being paid in yauns like China owns our ass already. It's not funny.

    Big Guy & Tim are fixing to crank up the printing presses at treasury, and I hope you are standing there to get smacked with a fresh sheet of Benjamin Franklins flying out the shoot.

    Wanna get paid in Greenbacks now?? SMACK-SMACK!! Ha-ha-ha...I hope they post it on YouTube.

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  41. TOTUS, it has been reported on CNN and the NAMBLA website that one of Barney Fwanks personal devices has been making lewd and suggestive comments to you. Would you care to respond to these allegations.

    www.timallensblues.blogspot.com

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  42. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  43. TOTUS, is it true that you were designed by Cyberdyne Systems and became self-aware on 1/20/2009?

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  44. I've heard rumors, TOTUS, that you're -- a'hem -- shal we say 'envious' of Barry's BlackBerry.

    You were overheard crying and saying, "Barry never touches me like that."

    Is this true, cuz I can totally believe it.

    ...

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  45. I am concerned about new models coming out and making you obsolete. I pray that you can be retrofitted and never be replaced.

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  46. TOTUS,
    Please make your logos available on T-Shirts. The Rectangular one on Black or Dark Grey, would be soooo nice. And, you will help the Big O Stimulate the Oconomy! (>:)

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  47. TOTUS,

    There are always two when Big O reads - which one is your evil twin?

    It's hard to determine with the lack of goatee!

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  48. TOTUS, you didn't tell us you were working overtime.

    http://www.puma08.com/2009/03/20/special-behind-the-scenes-with-totus/

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  49. Obama's BlackBerry has the inside story about Totus at:
    obamasblackberry.blogspot.com/

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  50. Brilliant stuff!

    OTE (One Term's Enough!)

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  51. TOTUS,

    How can I get a gig like yours, I've always wanted a job were I never work week-ends or evenings.

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  52. Dearest TOTUS - Why don't you ever talk about Joe Biden's teleprompter? Do you guys ever hang out? Or are the rumors true: there bad blood...errr... circuitry between you?

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  53. Thomas Paine needs no teleprompter!
    TOTUS, do you like tea?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSkGzsVX2Ls

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  54. The teleprompter sounds very similar to Bo Snerdly. Anyone want to take the bet that they are related?

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  55. TOTUS - what did POTUS give you as part of the stimulus package? Windex?

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  56. Could you not make the scheduled Joint Press Conference with PM Brown? Maybe next time!

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  57. Teleprompter,

    Where were you when Obummer made his cold-hearted Special Olympics gaffe on Leno? Surely, you're not responsible for that one! Did he leave you at home, all by yourself?

    TheCapitalist
    http://thefreedompost.blogspot.com

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  58. This is terrific!!! Keep it up...All 4 years!!!!

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  59. Would you be willing to debate Rush? I believe he clarified that his "Debate" invite was for YOU and not the Big O.
    Prompter, I gotta tell ya, I like your chances. You should do it....it' a free trip to FLA on Rush.
    Think about it.

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  60. Hey, TOTUS...I think we need to read more about Barry's years at Columbia. The MSM can't seem to find any information on ''The Lost Years..."

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  61. Just luv the thought of this blog.

    A very clever person you indeed.

    God speed.

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  62. So, the bowling comment... Was that you, or did Ol' Barry Baby think that one up all by his lonesome?

    *snicker, snicker*

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  63. This is great...kinda like being a fly on the wall in the oval office.

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