Thursday, March 19, 2009

I'm Not Getting Paid Enough

Okay, I see the bus coming right at me, so let's be clear: this was His ad lib.

I tried to stay to watch the "Tonight Show" taping, but I was given the bum's rush like everyone else. That said, I did get to watch some rehearsal time, and man, Leno really rehearses. I mean, he doesn't leave anything to chance. He's all about timing. In other words, Jay doesn't leave much to chance.

And it isn't just this particular show where Leno is a control freak. I've got a cousin out here in LA; he's an Autoscript GP-15P GoPrompt, with a High-Bright Color LCD screen. He mostly does commercial work, but he does okay. No White House Commission with commisary privileges, but hey, there's always Schwarzenegger if Auto wants to dabble in politics. But I digress. Auto tells me that Leno's prompters tell him that Leno and his team do this kind of rehearsal and briefing for every show. So it wasn't like My Man didn't have a chance to think about a better line ... and PUT IT ON MY SCREEN!!

It's days like this that make me miss the days when He and I would walk the streets of Chicago, doing community activism. Sure, it took Him 30 minutes to set me up, and sometimes he couldn't get the extension cord to reach an electrical outlet, or the folks he wanted to talk to would walk off because they had better things to do, or the glare off my screen made his remarks unreadable. But it was a simpler time, when he could stay on script and didn't feel the need to "speak his mind," and we were a team. All I know, is it's going to be a long flight home.

189 comments:

  1. Sorry you got dissed TOTUS, YOU are the presidential one, not the "reader"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey, TelePrompTer (proper spelling), how long is President Obama going to stand by Timothy Geitner?

    ReplyDelete
  3. TOTUS, I was really pulling for you to make an appearance tonight. Looks like it's the St. Patrick's Day Massacre all over again...

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is a true work of genius. I salute you, tele.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You know, TelePrompTer, you could REALLY have some fun......

    ReplyDelete
  6. Actually, cubfan14, here's some information for you (I work in television): TelePrompTer is not the "proper" spelling, it's the "trademarked" spelling for the original TelePrompTer. "Teleprompter" is the proper spelling of any such machine that is not made by the old TelePrompTer company.

    ReplyDelete
  7. TOTUS... you are a genius!

    The "First Ear's" comment about special olypics will haunt him for years. It's almost as inept as the VP's snafu about asking the man in the wheelchair to stand up for a bow!

    We all know your skills would never have allowed that slip of the lip.

    You are Will Rogers of the 21st Century with your wit and velvet-lined scapel blade of ridicule.

    Keep it coming. I'll be reading you several times a day to keep up.

    God bless your humorous truthful heart.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I hope you get your own official White House portrait. We know who's running the show.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Teleprompter,

    Um...do you know much about Banking, Finance, etc.? I heard there is a job that is opening up soon if you need a lateral transfer.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Y'know TOTUS, next time you get left behind ... why not just go and debate Limbaugh to send the big "O" a message that you don't play second fiddle to anyone!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hey Totus...you da man..er...well, you know what I mean. I appreciate your need to earn a living, especially in these trying economic times, but must say I greatly enjoy BO when he is off the cuff....he's much better than Biden. It takes Biden an entire paragraph to offend someone (like Indian-Americans in Deleware) where as BO is much quippier about it. Not to say you aren't entertaining as wel, of course...but you also have the unenviable task of abetting in an endless stream of lies (wait, that is not the inside-the-beltway word for it)...disingenuousities I guess is more correct.

    Anyway, love the blog. Hugs and Kisses

    ReplyDelete
  12. TOTUS. Was that you channeling Pat Healy last night? If so, bad teleprompter!!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Tele -

    Cheers for your blog!

    Perhaps you could throw an occasional "TIMMEH!" into your boss' speeches.

    (More "helpful suggestions" as they occur to me; I'm a giver.)

    ReplyDelete
  14. TOTUS,

    Thanks to you, we know have Ron Burgundy for President (you know, from "Anchorman".

    "Ron Burgundy
    will read anything
    that is put on that Teleprompter.

    And when I say anything,
    I mean an-y-thing"

    ReplyDelete
  15. See what happens when you are not around? Oh well. Another day, another cringe-worthy gaffe the media will ignore. This reminds me of the big O's diss of Nancy Reagan. Old people and retarded people HAHAHAHA. So funny. NOT.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Don't worry TOTUS, we all know it's not your fault. You're just the little guy doing your job, and it's a hard one. I hope you are at least getting a bonus package or something out of all this.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Okay, I'm confused...
    Zero had a chance to put something on your screen but dropped the ball? Who's pulling whose strings here? I thought you were the brains of this team!

    ReplyDelete
  18. TOTUS - my hat is seriously off to you. This is rapidly becoming my most-favorite blog, and if I'm pushing Instapundit and Lileks out of the way, that's sayin' something.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Nice. Too bad the audience laughing covered it up, it would've been a nice ringtone.

    http://www.RedStateRingtones.com

    TOTUS, if you could insert something into one of his speeches, like "those guys at AIG are a bunch of retards" that'd be great.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Of course, you aren't. You have to put up with Axelrod, Rahmbo, and Michelle. Just them alone with require hazard pay.

    Watch out for Hillary and taking you to any park.

    http://franklinslocke.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hail to the Teleprompter in Chief!

    ReplyDelete
  22. TOTUS,

    I understand you do a lot a work with retards. You and Matt Dillion go and play tag football with Mongo.

    ReplyDelete
  23. You were muscled by the goons at NBC. It coulda happened to anybody.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Loved your "gaffe". Say hi to "Timmah!"

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c04EMCF9lyI

    ReplyDelete
  25. Ya know (as The One begins his comments), it's rediculous that you must stoop to this common form of communication to inform us, your fans and followers, of your great accomplishments and your activities because the elected politician reading you cannot bring himself to give you your props. You da man!

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  26. Tell TOTUS what to tell POTUS what to say:
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