Tick, Tick, Tick ...

Let me give you a little behind-the-scenes flavor from the “60 Minutes” interview that airs tomorrow night. First, imagine my surprise to find that Steve Kroft uses one of me when he does interviews. There I was, positioned over Steve’s shoulder in the Oval so the Big Guy could see me, and I look over and there out of camera range is Steve’s me.

Steve is a real copycat, but apparently he’s not alone. You know how eye-lash transplants have become the hot thing out in Hollywood since Bill Maher and Keith Olbermann went public with their story? Apparently a teleprompter has become the “it” object for the political set.

Steve’s also a real suck up. And when it became increasingly clear that Change was going to beat Competence for the Democratic nomination, Steve’s sucking up became insufferable. Let’s count the ways: five autographed photos of himself (one in color, and not appropriate for the family room), a Mike Wallace bobble head, a “60 Minutes” leather jacket, Andy Rooney dolls for the girls, and a show-worn Lara Logan sequined leather thong for, I can only assume, Michelle. The suck-upery was one reason Big Boy wanted Byron Pitts for the interview. But Steve was the one who showed up. And things started out real well.

Steve asked, “If Treasury Secretary Geithner were to hand you his resignation, would you accept it?” As if given the week we’ve had the Big Guy would say, “Sure.” Big Boy didn’t even need to look at me for that one. Steve also asked an incisive question about the new playset out back and the size of its carbon footprint. The only tense moment came when Barack got asked about the one event that really marred his week: his NCAA hoops brackets. Ouch.

But in the end, Steve didn’t ask My Guy a single tough question during the eight or so minutes of interrogation, and after the crew left the Oval, Gibbsy and Rahm high-fived everyone, and everything was swell ... until the guys left me hanging. Not cool.