Thursday, March 26, 2009

Answering the Unanswerable

As I mentioned, there were lots of good questions submitted that didn't make the cut. So as a favor to Gibbsy and the White House nerds in New Media Operations, I'm going to answer a few they wanted addressed:

"In your speech on the economy, you said 'there are no silver bullets.' If that’s true, then how will America defend itself from a werewolf invasion?"

Well, that's actually why Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton is down in Mexico today. I don't think I'm breaking my operational top secret clearance by telling you that the U.S. has been having problems with illegal werewolves crossing the border we share with Mexico for some time now, taking, good well-paying jobs from American Lycan. It's another example of yet another serious problem inherited by Big O's Administration, which requires steadfast dialogue, not bullets. The werewolf challenge is part of the "North American Contingency Operation, " which is line-itemed on page 8905 of the proposed budget.

23 comments:

  1. Is The SOS Clinton speaking to the illegal werewolves directly? I know its naive' of me to think that speaking to said werewolves might be a big risk..did she get her cooty shot?

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  2. What's the point of having a silver bullet in the first place? Mr. O doesn't want you to have a gun to shoot it, or does he think he can throw the bullet fast enough to make a difference?

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  3. I've learned from reading my teen romance novels that the only way to stop werewolves is to bring in Vampires... you know, blood sucking, life taking, cold feeling.....you know Democrats.

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  4. Jayie, I believe you are incorrect. Vampires do not wish to stop werewolves, they only plan on enslaving them and using their stregnth to their will. I believe the correct approach would be to encourage American Werewolves to stand up across the country -- and not just in London or Paris. There are plenty of werewolves here that have earned their way in this Vampire-eat-everyone world. Rise up! Denounce your fellow leeching Lycan!

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  5. New Text Message: Obama Meets Opposition For White House Lawn "Tent City" News you don't want to miss. ObamasBlackBerry.blogspot

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  6. To hharrison91: the more appropriate question is whether the werewolves had *their* cooty shots . . .

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  7. bacainho- I concede that you are correct. Who knows what she has caught just from her visits to Slick Willy....

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  8. Pretty sure those are Chupacabras coming up from Mexico, not werewolves...

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  9. Davis Family:
    "does he think he can throw the bullet fast enough to make a difference?"

    Yep -- that's why he practices those fall-away jumpers so much.

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  10. Are you sure those werewolves really aren't manbearpigs? Al Gore warned us about manbearpigs and he is the smartest guy on the planet

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  11. And while Hilary and BO are at it.....who will protect us from the Vampiric Leprechauns still marauding with the fairy folk? Do they have any plans to capture the little green men in their oft seen flying machines?

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  12. " which is line-itemed on page 8905 of the proposed budget"

    Maybe I'll get to that item tonight, I'm on page 2 of the budget..... but I figure I'm 2 pages ahead of most of Congress.

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  13. That's great news that you'll be introduced to the Queen. I wonder if Michelle O will be going along and if she'll be showing off her arms. She'll have to curtsy, too.

    Have you thought about bringing along a new gift to PM Gordon? Whatever you bring NO regifting!

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  15. The Queen LOVES fine Art!

    You should help Obama continue giving the fine gifts he has given to our Allies. I think you should suggest Obama give the Queen an Obama Poster!

    I searched the net and found some great ones. Have his assistant search for "impeach obama posters".

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  16. Stephen Colbert posed that question on his show a few weeks ago -- is America prepared to withstand a werewolf invasion? I thought it was a joke, but apparently his writers are more knowledgeable about the world than I realized.

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  17. Chupucabras have been traveling to Mexico from Iraq for at least 5 years now. My soldier fighting in the Overseas Contingency Operation because of the Man-Caused Disaster heard horror stories about them in Ramadi.

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  18. Forget the Weapons of Mass Destruction hunt in Iraq! I think it's time we start searching for that Silver Bullet to cure all our ills. We'll call it a Weapon of Mythological Beast Destruction.

    -twobigboobs.wordpress.com

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  19. I thought Hillary was sent to Mexico because Bubba had a big date...just a call to the Big Guy, and she's adios...

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  20. I'm with Radish, I mean c'mon, everyone knows there's no such thing as werewolves, ( where do people come up with such a notion ), more like they're the mystical Chupucabras, ( aka. The "Texas Goat Sucker" ).

    Sadly, Obama was right, there probably are no silver bullets for this crisis, at the rate this administration is spending money, there's no silver left to make a silver bullet with, ( or gold, or copper, etc. ).

    Might want to try lining up some loud speakers at the Chupucabras point-of-entry, and blast liberal talk radio 24/7, that will have them begging for mercy !

    I can hear the screams of anguish now, "NO !!! We submit !!! No more !!! For the love of God, turn it off !!! AHHHHH !!!

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  21. But what about the Zombies !(and I don't mean the banks) Y'all are going on about werewolves in London ,vampires and Mexican beasties. No one has addressed the Zombies and what the heck we are going to do abiut them.

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  22. With no silver bullets, how can the Lone Ranger do his job?

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