Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Texting With Keith

As part of the Obama Loyalty Oath and Obama Army Indoctrination Process, we at the White House monitor communications of a few ... okay, every ... member of the traditional media who has signed on with us. We expect this overseas trip to be a smashing success, in part because of individuals like the one's below. To give you FOTs an insight into how these people help us, here is an excerpt from atexting string between two of those faithful followers. The names have been changed to protect their privacy.

Keith Olbermann: Watching President Obama land. My goodness, he and Michelle look magnificent coming out of the plane.
David Gregory:  I know; when the door to Air Force One opened, the rain here in London stopped falling and we saw a rainbow. The press corps doesn't think it's a coincidence, but Gibbs is putting out a statement denying the President has powers to control the weather.
Fact Check: It is well established that in locales that Big Guy has visited, rain tastes like rose water, rainbows spontaneously appear in clear skies and unicorns roam the land in peace.
Olbermann: Oh, I wish I was there. :(  Re: WH clarification on meteorological miracles, just ignore it and report what you feel. That's what I do and look at my ratings.
Fact CheckYes, it has worked out well.
Gregory: Don't feel sad. You'd hate this trip, it's all policy and global issues; nobody here to smear. Well, except for the Germans, who keep complaining about how much in debt our leader is loading onto us. We're just going to do puff pieces for a week on Michelle's wardrobe and Obama's workout regimen post-jetlag.
Fact Check: It's true. We've already given them the scripts.
Olbermann: Yeah, those Germans are a tiresome people. Like Republicans, but with a sense of humor, and without the neocons, if you get my drift.
Gregory: LOL! That reminds of this joke ...


  1. Next time, the President might want to think about parting the Atlantic and driving a Prius to Europe. I hear jetting to every little destination is bad PR for an insolvent automobile manufacturer.

  2. Yeah, then when he and the entourage are halfway.......

  3. ROFL! I really need to stop reading this at work.....

  4. Yeah, you've got the press where you want them. It's just amazing.

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