Monday, March 30, 2009

Guarded Opinion

The Guardian newspapers are considered some of the world's best newspapers, so it won't surprise many of you that they are also some of the world's most liberal newspapers.

But I'm beginning to think this "greatest" tag is bit a self-puffery. They wrote an article Sunday about Big Guy in the Observer that is so over the top in its breathless reporting about Big Guy that you have to wonder about the paper's grounding in reality. I mean really, like any President of the United States doesn't travel with 500 people, a personal chef, helicopters, men in black, and so on and so on.

My evidence: In more than 1000 words, the Observer does not say a word about me. To quote my hero, Gordon Ramsey, bollocks. And I'm the screen that is going make this whole trip sink or soar. I need me some Love. And by Love, I don't mean the emotional or empty symbolic gesture thing. I need Reggie Love to bring me some fried chicken and waffles. Pronto.


  1. Well don't worry, when I lived over there, we poor folk used the Guardian to wipe our arse with after we did the crossword, as it was not fit for much else. It does make ones bum very inky though. It's one of those things people like to keep under their arms to look as though they have read something stimulating.
    Loo roll (toilet tissue) is jolly expensive, unsightly and far too bulky these days to adorn oneself with in the same way.

  2. TOTUS,

    Regarding Big Guy's Commencement address, at The University of Notre Dame on May 17th. I don't think we are getting the whole story. As Rush commented last Friday: "This doesn't make any sense. This does not pass the common sense test."

    Rush often says, what many of us are thinking.

    Let's go back 10 days. The announcement was made after 2:00pm on March 20th, a Friday. Now everyone in D.C. knows, that's the time you release news, when you really don't want it to make much "news" per say. Notre Dame issued a press release at the same time.

    Well, it did not work out that way, did it? As a matter of fact, was up by Friday evening. By the way, nice cartoon of you, Big Guy and Touchdown Jesus on there. As usual, they captured your blank side.

    So, I think you owe it to your loyal followers on here, the American People and moreover Fighting Irish everywhere, to come clean. And I don't mean with Windex!

    This type of "makes no sense" story, only serves to invite speculation. And speculate I will. But only with plausable theories. Why? Because I know how you beltway types "roll" - you need plausable deniability. Or as Bart Simpson would say "I didn't do it! Nobody saw me do it. You can't prove anything."

    I will post each theory in a separate post, so there is no confusion, by 9:00am eastern. This will allow you ample time, before you leave on your trip, to issue a definitive "Rest of the N.D. story" confirmation or denial statement.

  3. TOTUS,

    Theory #1: Your creator, Hubert "Hub" Schlafly, is a 1941 graduate of The University of Notre Dame. He is a Co-founder,Director, and V.P. of the TelePrompter Corporation. Big Guy owes Mr. Schlafly and Notre Dame big debt of gratitude, to say the least.

    Big Guy, when asked during the campaign,at what point in it's development a baby gains "human rights," responded by saying such determinations were "above my pay grade"

    However, when it comes to the creation and incubation period, for electronic devices, i.e. Blackberry,You,etc. He proudly stands on the "Pro-Application" side. And says he fondly remembers those GE: "We bring good things to life" commercials.

    So, Notre Dame and Big Guy agree on "life" and promotion of "life," for all things electronic.

    No controversy here.

  4. TOTUS,

    Theory #2: On the evening of March 17th, St. Patrick's Day, an emergency call was placed to Notre Dame.

    As I'm sure you'll recall, Big Guy was the victim of an embarrasing mix-up involving you, your operator, and the Irish Prime Minister. The video of Big Guy reading the wrong speech and thanking himself needed to disappear...quick.

    The Ballerina,Ron Emanuel, reached his old friend (they had taken dance lessons together in Chicago)The Notre Dame Leprichaun. Ballerina, explained the situation to Lep (with no threat of sending him a dead fish) and then Lep received permission from N.D. President Fr. Jenkins, to board "ND One" to D.C.

    The 2 hour fight from South Bend, was just enough time for Lep to sober-up a bit.

    Lep used his "Lucky Charms" on the East Room and the video of the incident "magically disappeared" into the night.

    Big Guy thanked Lep and said he would return the favor anytime and Lep responded - "Just doing my Green Job, Sir"

    In keeping with Notre Dame's ongoing quest, to shed it's Catholic Identity and transform itself into "Duke with a Dome and a few old Statues" - Fr. Jenkins extended the formal commencement address invitation to Big Guy the next day.

  5. TOTUS,

    Theory#3: The Big Guy knows what Notre dame is seeking: Approval from the Academic Elite.

    In recent years, "The Vagina Monologues" and "The Queer Film Festival" have been allowed on campus under the guise of "Academic Freedom" at N.D.

    The awarding of an Honorary Degree, to the most Pro-Abortion President in history, could be looked back on years from now, as the point when Notre Dame "Jumped the Shark" and ceased being the leading Catholic University.

    The willingness of The University of Notre Dame to be marginalized, in the name of inclusivness, can only help the agenda of Big Guy.

  6. TOTUS,

    Theory #4: Last month, the #1 rated Defensive Linebacker in the Nation, signed a "Letter of Intent" to play football for Notre Dame.

    Manti Teo, attends the same high school in Hawaii as Big Guy did.

    During the week prior to Christmas, Big Guy was in Hawaii. The Notre Dame Football team was also there, preparing for the Hawaii Bowl. Manti Teo was being recruited by N.D. and attended a few of the team's practices.

    He narrowed his final 3 schools to: U.S.C., U.C.L.A. and N.D.

    On Feb. 4th, 2009 live on ESPN, Manti Teo announced he would attend Notre Dame.

    Manti Teo is a Devout Mormon. He passed on a chance, of being able to play in a more conducive climate.Not to mention USC has won a few National Championships recently.

    Was there devine intervention in the recruiting process by "The One" (Big Guy)? His first post

    I think the commencement speech/honorary degree is not the whole "payback."

    During a home game of his choosing next season, ND will have "Touchdown Barack Day" and has agreed allow smoking in the stadium. In addition, a halftime buffett featuring Wagyu Beef (from Allen Brothers)and Arugula for he and his Chicago pals, will be served.

    Sorry TOTUS, but Big Guy will have nice luxury box and won't be making any public statements.

    You can watch the game on NBC.

  7. LOL @ Gordon Ramsey. Hell's TOTUS!