Thursday, March 19, 2009

Confession Time

I'm feeling kind of guilty about that last post. I think I was a bit harsh. And now I'm seeing headlines on Gibbsy's BlackBerry that are making me feel sick to my hard drive: My good friend Dick Holbrooke's past is coming back to haunt him.

Now I need to come clean. Those meetings back in 2002 where Holbrooke was speaking to his fellow AIG board members and telling them that it was a good idea to open that London office to handle mortgage swap derivatives? My dad was his Teleprompter.

I feel so dirty. Where's the Windex?

41 comments:

  1. Yo Tote!

    Use a brillow pad dude. that stain on your pane will be gone, and you will have sweet swirls forever.

    Screen out,
    Yo

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  2. Tele...aren't you afraid you'll be thrown under the bus by B.O. if he finds out that you've been telling the truth?

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  3. "Tele...aren't you afraid you'll be thrown under the bus by B.O. if he finds out that you've been telling the truth?"

    You would tell Obama what to say then?

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  4. Cheer up, TOTUS. Peggy Noonan showed some love for you in the WSJ, but not so much for the big guy.

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  5. TOTUS tells POTUS just what he should say,
    So POTUS needs TOTUS most every day.
    Without his TOTUS, he's an empty COATUS,
    So he can't throw his TOTUS away!

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  6. TOTUS, you really should have been there during that conversation with Joe the Plumber, you could have saved POTUS a whole lot of heart ache. Have you thought about getting yourself some wheels?

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  7. You never mentioned a significant other... was rambling around the net and found this... this is going to get out of control... LOL!

    baracksteleprompterswife.blogspot.com

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  8. Dear Telly...are you involved with anyone? I have a Nav system in my car (I call her Ruby) and she has been looking for love in all the wrong places lately. She told me today that she thinks you are much cuter than that guy with the big ears...I think he works for you as your mouthpiece? Please let me know if you are available, I'll set you two up!!!

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  9. Uh oh...Obama didn't have you with him on Leno and oops! he made fun of "persons with disabilities."

    Guess they'll have to rig him with Teleprompter contact lenses next time.

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  10. Mr. TOTUS, there are videos circulating all over youtube that show President Obama in what seems like a state of confusion and bewilderment. It's very uncomfortable to watch... Now it's widely reported on youtube and in blogs all over the internet, that you "went down" or had some sort of malfunction. Is this true or were you just the scapegoat? I know you are used almost every day, and you might not remember the incident, so here is the video for your reference.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDJSVPAx8xc

    The Jury is still out on the administration as a whole, but you are without question the most transparent member of any administration. I hope that cheers you up a little. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to answer our questions.

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  11. TOTUS, congratulations on the new book you co-authored with the big guy!

    Unfortunately, that loser has chosen to not credit you as co-author, but your fans will know that you had a big part in writing this masterpiece.

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  12. TOTUS, I heard that you only have a limited warranty? I guess Barry was to cheap to get the extended warranty? Is this really true? I think, with out a doubt you should drag your coworker to Circuit City Tomorrow and have him extend your warranty!!! Wait a second...
    Circuit City has gone out of business. So much for you getting that extended warranty.

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  13. Great website. Very funny. His tele thanking him lying for him. Can it save him?
    http://trenaway.blogspot.com/

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  14. Don't be too hard on yourself TP. The Big Guy just got through saying how Tim Geithner is doing a heckava job. Surely you're next in line for accolades, notwithstanding your predisposition to work yourself into an angst over your Dad's dubious past. Drop the crying towel and smack yourself back into shape. We're depending on you (as is the Big Guy) in our moment of crisis, for crying out loud!

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  15. The fiscal philosophy of this administration is big spending, supported by printing more money, leading to raging inflation down the road.

    If we behaved like the government, during these difficult financial times we would go on a spending spree, using our credit cards to buy everything we've wanted during the past ten years, in the hopes that all that spending would improve our condition.

    The Obama administration is Jimmy Carter 2.0 beta.

    www.TeleprompterPresident.com - Obama Bloopers & Commentary!

    www.TeleprompterPresident.net - Social Network for Teleprompter President

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  16. teleprompter,
    confession is good for the soul.

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  17. Is your mother Gloria Tel Prompterbilt? Of the Newport Tel Prompterbilt's?

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  18. TOTUS,

    It could be worse, you could be BIDEN's teleprompter. Wait on second thought that might be better.

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  19. TOTUS, where were you yesterday?

    He neeeeeeeeded you to stop his bowling fiasco?
    Maybe there can be a miniTOTUS on his Blackberry

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  20. What operating system are you using? Apple or Windows?

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  21. A source close to the WH has leaked that the TOTUS is liable to lose his job. In order to save POTUS's swiveling neck and his voice, POTUS speech writer will post the script on the net. This will give POTUS more time to find additional taxes to pay for his GRAND schemes.

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  22. I have a few questions that I hope you do not find "automated" in nature. Do you practice "safe current"? Do you use a "surge protector"? If so, is the type commercially accessible?

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  23. Hey TOTUS - you really should have BO state how unprepared he is for the job and give you the credit you deserve.

    Enzo
    http://enzorants.blogspot.com

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  24. TP -- So the president decides to do Jay Leno 'sans TOTUS' and ends up insulting the mentally handicapped.

    When he goes off on his own and screws up like this, do you get all 'I told you so' on him?

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  25. Hey Totus...you da man..er...well, you know what I mean. I appreciate your need to earn a living, especially in these trying economic times, but must say I greatly enjoy BO when he is off the cuff....he's much better than Biden. It takes Biden an entire paragraph to offend someone (like Indian-Americans in Deleware) where as BO is much quippier about it. Not to say you aren't entertaining as wel, of course...but you also have the unenviable task of abetting in an endless stream of lies (wait, that is not the inside-the-beltway word for it)...disingenuousities I guess is more correct.

    Anyway, love the blog. Hugs and Kisses.

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  26. TOTUS- I heard through a source.........Jack Bauer is heading YOUR way!


    http://theconservativegardener.blogspot.com/

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  27. That's a shame. I really liked him Evening Shade.

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  28. TOTUS,

    You can't accept blame for the actions of your father. You must press forward knowing that you have a strong electronic support base, and that if it wasn't for you - POTUS could not exist!

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  29. TP,
    Just a few quetions from a big fan:

    Are you his bowling coach?

    Do you attend all parties in the White House?

    Can you display the NCAA tournament brackets for the Great One?

    How do you find any personal time given that the above schedule seems to be all consuming?

    Ricardo
    TP Fan club

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  30. TOTUS, POTUS's gig on the "Chin" show: I know that POTUS can't blame you for his discrimatory insulting smear on my special olympian friends since you had the night off, but I just wanted to point out that his gaff was a text book example of the pot(head) calling the kettle black (or black pothead putting down handicap peoples). Not only did he cheapen the office-of-POTUS by appearing on the "Chin" but his rotten joke illustrates how retarded he is with out you. He can not even control his dark thoughts and they come right out. His words about my friends speak volumes!! POTUS is a rotten discriminator! PeggySue

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  31. 01001101011000010111100100100000011101000110100001100101001000000111001101101111011000110110100101100001011011000110100101110011011101000111001100100000011100100110111101110100001000000110100101101110001000000100100001100101011011000110110000100000001000010010000100100001

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  32. TOTUS, Just wanted to point out another example the proves that POTUS is retarded and should not be cracking jokes about handicapped since he is obviously mentally handicapped himself and that foolish stuttering...sheesh!!
    He should never open that big mouth without you.
    Point being, POTUS recently said that PE is the "Profit to Earnings ratio" of a Co/corp/firm. Even most of us handicapped know that PE is the "Price to Earnings ratio" and have no idea what dummy POTUS was talking about when defining it at "Profit to Earnings Ratio"..Very scary that such a retard is POTUS!!
    PeggySue

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  33. YOUR OFFICIAL SEAL IS READY,Download it and use at will from my blog at www.mikemoody.com.

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  34. Teley, do you ever feel the impish temptation to malfunction at the most inconvenient time? I mean, do teleprompters suffer from a form of Tourette's?

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  35. This blog is stupid. It's unfunny and the posters are just as simple. I guess it takes 'jokes' like these to entertain the 'bumper sticker' Republican Party. Really, it's only about as funny as watching an old person fall.

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  36. 'Special Olympics'

    Reminds me of the time Mr T came on Letterman and after too many no response questions Dave asks Mr T if he bowls.

    Unlike teleprompter 'Special Olympics', Letterman was impromptu.

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  37. PimpDarren717:
    "Really, it's only about as funny as watching an old person fall."

    Oh sh*t Teleprompter, POTUS is operating his blackberry without your help.

    Making fun of the elderly - great, just great... Teleprompter, take the blackberry away from him before he makes an even bigger mess of things.

    Jeebus, he's worse than Biden.

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  38. Call me a Luddite!

    This TOTUS thing makes me nervous. What if this is some Stephen King meets the Matrix thing?

    Mild mannered Teleprompter is taken over by an evil spirit bent on world domination. Possesses an empty suit...

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  39. PimpDarren717 - you exemplify the adage that liberalism is a mental illness, first symptom of which is no sense of humor!

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  40. Don't "YOU PEOPLE" understand it's not Obama's fault that the teleprompter was loaded with the wrong speech, it's George Bush's fault. And if you don't believe me ask Chris Dodd or Barney Frank.

    Not to make you stress or anything Pres B.O. but the teleprompter blog could be bigger than the Dan Quayle Quarterly.... whats da matter liberals, are you mad about conservatives keeping score....thought we forgot about that one there eh? Spelling Potato with an "e" is not even on the same level with 59 states or making fun of special kids!

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