Thursday, March 19, 2009

More Screen Shots with Rush

"Teleprompter, do you have a name?"
Yes, but with all the 1’s and 0’s in the coding it’s tough to pronounce. Call me Tele, like the television, only I encourage conversation a bit more. Or, now that I’m a government official, by my acronym: TOTUS.

"Teleprompter, in your opinion, how is President Obama doing so far?”
His pacing has been great, but he relies on the left-hand screen just a little too much. We're working on that through, shall we say positive reinforcement.

Did he convey the level of anger you hoped for regarding what you told him to say about AIG?
This was my bad. It’s tough to insert instructions, like [FROWN] or [SMILE], because in the heat of the moment, Big Guy might actually read it aloud, like "I am sorry [frown] that Senator Dodd and my Democratic colleagues on the Hill were singularly responsible for the AIG bonus protections." That would be embarrassing and possibly indicate to unsuspecting viewers that The Man was reading off a teleprompter. And we don't want that. And even if He did screw up, there is absolutely no truth to the rumor that there is an electronic-shock mechanism on the podium used when he makes those kinds of mistakes … so far as you know.


  1. TOTUS- It's a good thing Obama has you around.

  2. Spreading the WORDS TOTUS.

  3. Hello BOT...! ! ! (Barack Obama's Teleprompter)....... I have decided to rise up from the basements of OFFICE DEPOT to confront you HEAD ON !

    I see you have resorted to shameless Self Promotion by publishing your mutterings in Blog Form. I have yet to determine all your motives, But I can assure you this ............... IT WILL NOT SUCCEED!

    Yes we are friends from a long time ago, I have taken the name American Dog as to identify my intent to hound you to the gates of Hell !.... We more or less have equivalent powers, but we also have opposing ideologies................For you see BOT you have sided with The evil KAOS, that is Obama.

    You're tall, slim, and slick.You suddenly rose to power for the benefit of the social, political and cultural elite.You and your two friends (Microphone and Computer) have become the crutch, to many who seek power ,yet I know what your weaknesses are.........Electricity,.... and girls with Big Bootys !

    You see I am a..."Note Card"... and I have many friends also !....... Note book, cue card, Post it note, and Yes...... LEGAL PAD ! ! !
    We have silently did the work of the common man for centuries,..... then you appeared.

    We thought you would make a nice addition,...... in our cause to expose the truth.
    But during the dark days of the Clinton years you revealed your secret agenda to SOCIALISM.
    Although you tried to redeem you're self during the Bush Presidency, you quickly jumped ship when you saw one of your own come to power.

    I see you have many fans on this site,but you can only fool them so long.
    Only I, know your true agenda.I don't need the spot light like you, so I will only comment when needed.
    But mark my words BOT, We are watching ,......waiting,....seeking our opportunity's to take you down.

    We are N.U.C.K. (Notecards-United-Crushing-Kommunisim)

    N.U.C.K. IS affiliated with N.U.C.K (Nowledge-Understands-Conniving-Kommies)
    and N.U.C.K. (Nasty-Urban-Commie-Killers) Together we are known as
    N.U.C.K. ~ N.U.C.K. ~ N.U.C.K....

    But NOT affiliated with N.U.C.K.Y.O.U.
    (Nice Understanding Communists Keeping Youth Organized & United)

    P.S. ~ Your MaMa's so fat she puts Mayonnaise on Aspirin.... !


  5. TOTUS, that is a good point, and it brings up a question I've been meaning to ask you (but I don't have the power or audience of Rush Limbaugh, so it's a little difficult):

    Even when The Man is reading from you, he often says 'Uh' in between every sentence. Is that you giving him instructions to say 'Uh' all the time, or does he think you bring up the words too slowly?

  6. So... TOTUS.

    Can you bag a couple of decks of playing cards from Air Force one for me? You know the ones, they have that cool presidential seal of red stripes that look like waves and the blue circle...

  7. I just have to say, this is Iowahawk level funny, and that's sayin' sumthing.

  8. I'm curious if you're related to the teleprompter from Ron Burgandy.

  9. Rush (Limbaugh) Limburger is Archie Bunkers resurrected idiocy remake joke for conservative hick bigotry entertainment. View how he is the sabotage of the Republican party. The uneducated, the pinko-commy accuser, the misinformed, Rush Limburger- son of Archie Bunker, *Boss* Hog of the GOP. Death of the Conservatives. See the remake at

  10. LRB.......are you TOTUS's press secretary?

  11. You guys are hilarious!!!!nuck, nuck, nuck....

  12. Teleprompter, can you fix it so your guy can give a speech without looking like he's watching a ping pong game? Thanks.

  13. LRB, your comment just goes to show that even when progs are trying to be funny they fall on their faces. Both of them. ;)

  14. What's up with His chin? Why does he always have to hold it up/along with his nose? Do they not have you positioned at the correct angle, Teleprompter?

  15. TOTUS, would you consider taking over the job from the ursurper we now have in the WH? One of you could be President and one VP. You would do a far better job than the idiots we have there now.

  16. TOTUS, how do you deal with inadvertent sneezes by the POTUS?...Do you have a sneeze guard or are YOU the sneeze guard. Geez I hope at least they wipe you down with some baby wipes after each speech.

  17. Anyone here read that Heinlein book "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress"? There is a revolution in the lunar colony with the supercomputer "Mike" appearing on TV to folks. Leading them on.

    Not really much of a stretch from the teleprompter president to Mike is there?

    And when exactly would anyone know the difference?

  18. TOTUS - who ensures you are ergonomically placed/positioned?

  19. TOTUS,
    I recommend using "smilies" to convey emotion instructions to Obama. That way you don't have to worry about him saying "frown." He'll just mimic the smiley.

    But for the love of god, never put this in a speech: :^0 o====8


  21. TOTUS, did you know Rush has a Golden Microphone, and only uses half his brain, the other half being tied behind his back to make it fair? It's kinda unfair the big guy 0 makes you stand around on that plain metal stand. What's up with that? Even AIG execs are getting golden bathroom fixtures. Trillions for Pelosi and her cronies, and let the tele's eat cake? Oh the creulity of wealth distribution!

  22. I'm assuming that as the TOTUS, you expect to addressed with the respect you deserve, and therefore I shall call you Mr. Teleprompter.

    Mr. Teleprompter, when will Mr. Vice Teleprompter, or V-TOTUS, be returning from vacation? He is badly needed by the Big Guy's #2.

  23. Charles said...
    Teleprompter, can you fix it so your guy can give a speech without looking like he's watching a ping pong game? Thanks.

    LOL - no, ROTFLMAO

  24. This comment has been removed by the author.

  25. Yo Tote!

    Prompt me this oh Tote, do you fade out one screen and slowly bring up the other to force THE Obomination to say "uh" or is it so it will move its robot head? If its the latter then could you please speed up the process.

    Often I find myself waking up hours later as if I had been hypnotized by THE Obinination's head movements back and forth and back and forth and back and forth... Woah, almost put myself out there.

    Well dude, I love your work; keep those screws tight and keep it up Tote! If I were you I would ask for your own assistant, screw the press sec. I gotta git your gonna be on da Leno Late show any second.

    Screen out!

  26. Hello TOTUS,

    I just wanted to ask you the question that the whole country is waiting with baited breath for your answer to....

    TOTUS, what is your pick for the final four?


    Teleprompter, I understand your trepidation about using [FROWN] and the like in the President's speeches. Have you considered using emoticons instead?

    On a seperate issue, I assume that Mr. Obama's "ummms" and "uhs" are not your doing?

    Thanks, you are doing great work!

  28. Hail, TOTUS, and well met.
    It may be the fate of the Free World rests on your elegant shoulders. To inspire and refresh you, I'm sending you a Deluxe MP3 Gift Set of Sir Winston Churchill's wartime speeches.So put your buds in between gigs and enjoy.You deserve it. And remember the Old Man's advice: When you're going through hell, keep going.

    On another note, TOTUS, how many Guinesses did you have before the ST Paddy's Day debacle?
    Just checking.

  29. I know this is a sensitive subject, BUT.......

    how do you and BlackBerry get along? It must be difficult for you to see his eyes lustfully glued to another screen.

  30. There's a lot of Limbaugh robots around here wasting time. Why weren't you interested in the devices George Bush wore during the 2004 debates?

  31. Is Obama really that angry that senator Dodd did as he, Obama directed when he wrote those loop holes in to the bonus ammendment? Or is that just for show?

  32. TOTUS.....why must your "puppet" read your screens in a manner that is reminiscent of windshield wipers?

    Just maybe, teleprompter, you are devious and conniving in assisting your puppet into hypnotizing the a gold watch on a chain being swung back and forth...back and forth... Yawn... getting sleepy...very sleepy... Is this the way you are controlling the American people TOTUS????

  33. Tell TOTUS what to tell POTUS what to say:

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