Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Hurtful Words and Point of Clarification

I was having breakfast in the Commissary this morning, and I overheard some of the Advance team talking about last night's performance. They were impressed that Big Guy was able to say so many sentences without a "real" teleprompter. I had to run out of the room so that no one could see the tears running down my screens. Sorry ... it's been a tough week.

You see, the Obamatron is me. It's kind of like Cinderella and Gibbsy is my Fairy Godmother who waves his magic wand and I go from two small screens to one, slick screen. Well not really, they just plugged my cables into a 52-inch flat screen, instead of the mini-LCDs that sit on the floor. Same words, just a different package. And a bigger package. But I digress.

I'm a computer after all, and when people can't see past the gloss and the smooth lines, and thin brackets and sleek screens, not bothering to see the real me, the real guts, it hurts. I have a brain people.

This is the best way to look at it: my LCD component is to Big Boy, what the sleeveless dress is to Michelle.
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64 comments:

  1. Col.SmeagMarch 25, 2009 at 7:18 AM

    We know it's not the siz ethat matters TOTUS but whats inside that counts.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Rush's GoldenEIBMicrophoneMarch 25, 2009 at 7:23 AM

    Rush listeners can dish it out but...Don't be hurtin on the EIB MIC. It makes me cry and you know that's bad for my audio output...Please don't jeopardize the show like that.

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownMarch 25, 2009 at 7:24 AM

    TOTUS,

    Isn’t it funny how your feelings are hurt because people can’t see the real you, but it delights the Big Guy that people can’t see the real him!

    ReplyDelete
  4. SandraMarch 25, 2009 at 7:35 AM

    TOTUS? You thought he wouldn't throw you under the bus too? His grandmother is under there and his preacher. The American tax payer too. I'm sorry but all the signs were there.

    ReplyDelete
  5. ChristineMarch 25, 2009 at 7:37 AM

    TOTUS, in a country where obesity is a major problem, the slimmer, sleaker TOTUS should be the way to go. It just sets a good example.

    ReplyDelete
  6. UnknownMarch 25, 2009 at 7:41 AM

    Ah TOTUS is misunderstood...

    ReplyDelete
  7. s.j.March 25, 2009 at 7:53 AM

    I'm so sorry that they hurt your feelings TOTUS. I'm sure they will have you front and center in the near future as last night's presser was...well let's just say, there were mishaps. Too many uhhhs, ummms and uncomfortable silences. You are VITAL to his success. Have no fear, they will learn to respect you more!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Prime BeaverMarch 25, 2009 at 7:59 AM

    TOTUS...you got mention in an article
    From his opening statement (read from the now-famous teleprompter, which I glimpsed for the first time), Obama tried to underscore that he is focused on the economy. Again restating that today’s economic crisis “didn’t happen overnight” and came after “many years and many failures,” the President also said there were “no quick fixes” and “no silver bullets.”

    ReplyDelete
  9. 10ksnookerMarch 25, 2009 at 8:10 AM

    TOTUS, Big Guy did look so much better without doing the tennis neck thing, staring straight ahead, deer in the headlights like. But is the flat screen portable, and what do you do for an auditoriums when the rear wall is so far far away. Reading with binoculars is probably going to be noticed.

    I would imagine thinking up all those answers in real time is taxing to your CPU.

    But the good news is the media cheerfully reported around your obstruction.

    ReplyDelete
  10. UnknownMarch 25, 2009 at 8:11 AM

    Mr TOTUS..

    I see that the Rohm was using his "blackberry" during the performance part of your suborindiate.. (the potus)

    can you tell us what The Rohm was changing?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6sJa0qVLStA

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousMarch 25, 2009 at 8:13 AM

    I respect the real you, TOTUS. I don't like you....but I respect you!

    http://theconservativegardener.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  12. Cuffy MeigsMarch 25, 2009 at 8:30 AM

    This teleprompter upgrade is MADNESS (video):
    http://perfunction.typepad.com/perfunction/2009/03/video-obamas-new-teleprompter-1.html

    ReplyDelete
  13. Dawn ShulerMarch 25, 2009 at 8:51 AM

    *tsk tsk* Michael! You Libs basically OWN Washington, DC now and you're STILL not happy. Geez. Greedy bastahd. ;o)

    ReplyDelete
  14. EugeniaMarch 25, 2009 at 8:52 AM

    Don't worry, TOTUS. It won't be long before he's back to looking at you side to side. He needs that neck exercise. Besides, he looks menacing looking so mad straight ahead. Lil' scary.

    ReplyDelete
  15. UnknownMarch 25, 2009 at 8:55 AM

    TOTUS - You are a Strategic National Asset. Last night while I was driving home from work (17 minutes) in the Q&A session, I counted 72 "uhh's". 72 in 17 minutes! Then as I was changing clothes (3 minutes) I counted 21 more.

    The One is lost without your soothing display of other people's words for him to say.

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousMarch 25, 2009 at 9:35 AM

    Time for Republican losers to use a more relevant line of attack against Obama, like the birth certificate.

    You losers have nothing to say. Enjoy your 40 years in the wilderness.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Timeshare JakeMarch 25, 2009 at 9:35 AM

    I have a feeling the truth centers around that blue screen that I saw last night. Obama and Teleprompter Lover's Spat?: The Monica Lewinsky of Speech Aids

    ReplyDelete
  18. BrianMarch 25, 2009 at 9:44 AM

    TOTUS, do you have a brother who could follow Timmy around so he doesn't say things like we should consider China's currency proposal?

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousMarch 25, 2009 at 9:52 AM

    Aw TOTUS, I knew you were there, unfailing to the Big Guy. Someday, he'll be sorry. You just wait and see. But your readers get you and love you..."kay? Buck up. Shake it off, sport. It's all good.

    ReplyDelete
  20. John's SpaceMarch 25, 2009 at 9:57 AM

    This is funny in a way...having BO reading your lines off of a very obvious 52" LCD screen rather then your regular screens. This changes nothing TOTUS. It's still you.

    John's Space

    ReplyDelete
  21. xqqumiataMarch 25, 2009 at 9:58 AM

    Rather than post my question for BigBoy on a website, I thought I'd appeal directly to you.

    Dear President Obama, as far as the economy goes, do you have a plan 'B'?
    (I'd ask what is plan B, but details are so over the head of us dumb masses.)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Matt MaulMarch 25, 2009 at 10:00 AM

    Tea Bag D.C.!

    "Shovel Ready" shirts, Mugs, Buttons, Magnets, Bumper Stickers!

    Tabloidtshirts.com

    ReplyDelete
  23. AnonymousMarch 25, 2009 at 10:01 AM

    sorry but I have replaced you...
    http://obamasgianttvmonitor.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  24. Barack's BlackBerryMarch 25, 2009 at 10:01 AM

    TOTUS, I feel your pain. The powers-that-be tried to get Big-O to "quit me” in the beginning, but they couldn't pry me from his beautiful-strong hands. Don't despair...he WILL find a way to keep you. A couple more Special Olympic gaffs, and your back home to stay. You are NEEDED!!! Much Love, BOTUS

    ReplyDelete
  25. VoteNovember2008March 25, 2009 at 10:03 AM

    TOTUS, listen here are some easy steps to cleaning away the tears:

    Step 1
    Grab your spray bottle and rinse it out well with hot water and then fill it up half-way with cold water.

    Step2
    Now take your rubbing alcohol and fill up the other half of your spray bottle with your rubbing alcohol.

    Step3
    Spray solution on the screen or on a soft towel. A microfiber towel is best. Screen should be a streak-free clean.

    Now, put it behind you, FOT's love you and we all have your back! POTUS is a shell of a man without you TOTUS. VN8

    ReplyDelete
  26. AnonymousMarch 25, 2009 at 10:08 AM

    http://obamasgianttvmonitor.blogspot.com/
    I am just so much more sexier than you!
    Beside the common Joe, can accept me over you. How many teleprompters do Americans have in their homes. None, with the exception of BO's home.

    Supper time at the old homestead must be interesting

    ReplyDelete
  27. Granite Street GarageMarch 25, 2009 at 10:10 AM

    I think your new 'Carry on Okie' screen will be a boon for the Big Guy! It will stop him from being too formal, and he can lighten up.

    ReplyDelete
  28. AnonymousMarch 25, 2009 at 10:17 AM

    you poor losers, you can't get over the fact that Obama will never be caught getting a hummer from a WH intern.

    you got nothing.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Prime BeaverMarch 25, 2009 at 10:35 AM

    OMG..I'm tears

    ReplyDelete
  30. Clifton BMarch 25, 2009 at 10:57 AM

    There, there, TOTUS! I feel your pain!

    ReplyDelete
  31. UnknownMarch 25, 2009 at 11:00 AM

    I love you, TOTUS!

    ReplyDelete
  32. AnonymousMarch 25, 2009 at 11:07 AM

    rynato,

    You "have" nothing, "have", not "got" ...

    Now we know why teleprompters are so popular with libs, ( no offense TOTUS ).

    ReplyDelete
  33. JMarch 25, 2009 at 11:11 AM

    When I heard the news of the big screen, I immediately thought of you TOTUS. We're looking out for the little guys.

    ReplyDelete
  34. AnonymousMarch 25, 2009 at 11:28 AM

    TOTUS...the big guy is so thin skinned and is also a creature of habit. He will come back...and don't forget YOU HAVE THE POWER and don't you ever forget that!

    WE LOVE you TOTUS!

    ReplyDelete
  35. JohnMarch 25, 2009 at 11:36 AM

    What the hell is a "brain people"?

    Didn't y'all learn "comma before a direct address" around third grade, people?

    Eat, my friends
    Eat my friends

    More than a minor difference.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Petruce CarrierMarch 25, 2009 at 11:50 AM

    All hail TOTUS!

    ReplyDelete
  37. melissaMarch 25, 2009 at 11:56 AM

    Rush is taking up for you Mr Prompter! You were larger than life.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Matthew BurkeMarch 25, 2009 at 11:59 AM

    Instead of looking like an umpire watching a tennis match, yesterday, Obummer looked like he was having a stare-down while high. Maybe he's hung-over from being punch-drunk.

    http//thefreedompost.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  39. The Political ChefMarch 25, 2009 at 12:03 PM

    My bad TOTUS...I just assumed (yes, I now what that makes you and me). That you had been put on hiatus for the evening. Forgive those of us hicks who don't know how the world of teleprompter's works. I did not catch what I'm sure was a flawless performance from you last night and Barrista's attempt to do you justice, I was on the road.

    ReplyDelete
  40. UnknownMarch 25, 2009 at 12:10 PM

    Really ? Ths is the best you've got?

    ReplyDelete
  41. UnknownMarch 25, 2009 at 12:21 PM

    Remember, TOTUS, that expression you made famous when you put it in the Big Guy's mouth but just a few months ago? "Words. Just Words."

    So, let's get over this latest slight and move on. You have much important work to do on the long and winding road ahead.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Barack's BlackBerryMarch 25, 2009 at 12:26 PM

    BOTUS helps Big-O save the homeless, and create jobs at the same time...read all about it at BOBlackBerry's Blog. Hang in there TOTUS!

    ReplyDelete
  43. brown-eyedMarch 25, 2009 at 12:46 PM

    Sorry, TOTUS, it isn't your fault!

    Could you recommend elimination of the following repetitive phrases by the president in ALL of his talks?

    --"It's the right thing to do." Or, maybe add, "In my opinion,..."
    --Main Street
    --Now
    --Look

    ReplyDelete
  44. AnonymousMarch 25, 2009 at 1:05 PM

    Wait ColS - who says size doesn't matter?

    Anyway, you can take the cables out of TOTUS but you can't take TOTUS out of the big screen - otherwise it will be blank ... which is fitting, because I think a blank screen is exactly what Big Boy is, deep down.

    ReplyDelete
  45. SapwolfMarch 25, 2009 at 1:07 PM

    TOTUS,

    You deserve better. I know Big Boy is still early in his term, but there are potentially others out there that would die for what you bring to a relationship.

    If you are up to it, I can get you linked up with the people at TeamSarah or SarahPAC.

    Sure Sarah would not need your services very often, but when she did she'd greatly appreciate you. You have a servant's heart and so does Sarah.

    Let me know.

    ReplyDelete
  46. NoLeftTurnAmerica.orgMarch 25, 2009 at 1:09 PM

    TOTUS:

    No to worry. The LCD thing really was lame. You'll be back sooner than you think.

    Can I ask why POTUS couldnt say "I WILL NOT SIGN A BUDGET UNLESS ITS INCLUDES A MIDDLE CLASS TAX CUT"
    NoLeftTurnAmerica

    ReplyDelete
  47. TruthWillWinMarch 25, 2009 at 1:31 PM

    RE: The TOTUS - M.o 'bama dress analogy. ---Ugh! But, I suppose you're right. As the big screen reveals that your brains are beefier than B.O.'s, so too a sleeveless dress reveals that M.O.'s muscles are beefier than B.O.'s.---- [Overheard backstage before last night's reading:
    B.O. "Look, I... uh, I uh ... I'm too high to do this Main Street gig... Now..."
    M.O. "Don't you point at ME, you little wimp. So help me, B.O., you get your pitiful little self out there and SELL or, so help me I'll do more than straighten your neck tie [yanks on B.O.'s tie -- THAT's why it was crooked]."
    B.O. "Chill, baby, chill. Okay. I'll do it. It's just words, just words... (giggle)."
    M.O. [aside] That whitey Maureen Dowd got it right, "... the wrong Obama is in the Oval."

    ReplyDelete
  48. SapwolfMarch 25, 2009 at 1:33 PM

    You know, after all the viciousness out in the blogosphere these days, it is really uplifting to my spirits to read so many posts encouraging TOTUS and giving him/her sincere advice. The caring just never stops here.

    ReplyDelete
  49. TruthWillWinMarch 25, 2009 at 1:47 PM

    Mr. TOTUS, hang in there, young man.
    You must feel a lot like much of the military feels right now with a Muslim Marxist from Kenya as Con Man in Chief -- like quitting and getting as far away from that "blank screen" [good one, rushrepub] as possible. But, like our valiant military is doing, stand your ground. Fight the good fight. Watch for opportunities to serve the truth and your country. In the long run, Truth will win.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Saber Alpha 10March 25, 2009 at 1:52 PM

    TOTUS be careful. This could play out as a French drama. You are Cyrano de Bergerac providing the eloquent prose that the Big Guy adores but cursed with those ungainly glass panes. The handsome and stylish Plasmaprompter will become your Christian de Neuvillette. You provide the words but Big Guy imagines himself in love with Plasmaprompter. I see a tragedy in the making. I hope I am wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  51. SuperstarMarch 25, 2009 at 1:58 PM

    I am absolutly sharing this with my students. I know The "big guy" would be so proud that teachers have a real life personification of his telepromter!

    I think it's great that you are in touch with your feelings like that! Real Men can pull that off!

    ReplyDelete
  52. ChrisMarch 25, 2009 at 2:26 PM

    I can't believe there are people accusing TOTUS of being a partisan hack! I was under the assumption that he belonged to the much misunderstood Binary Party. It's really impossible for TOTUS to be wrong, since he's made up of primarly logic based algorithms.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Lee333March 25, 2009 at 2:27 PM

    What proof do we, the fanatics
    of TOTUS, have? There appears to be an assumption on these pages that TOTUS is a male. Have we any proof?
    Our admiration is independent of whether he is energized by protons or electrons.
    There is little room here for discrimmination.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Bruce OksolMarch 25, 2009 at 2:29 PM

    Wait until the press turns their backs on Barack to read the 52" display. That will be the end of that.

    ReplyDelete
  55. NoLeftTurnAmerica.orgMarch 25, 2009 at 2:50 PM

    Didn't someone tell us that LCD and Plasma Screens make a huge carbon footprint. I thought big screen = EVIL. TOTUS; that's your way back in. Tell them that the big screen is an evil tool of the Rebublican right. Only conservatives have big screens...... Death to the big screen!
    NoLeftTurnAmerica

    ReplyDelete
  56. AnonymousMarch 25, 2009 at 2:53 PM

    "I WILL NOT SIGN A BUDGET UNLESS ITS INCLUDES A MIDDLE CLASS TAX CUT" - NoLeftTurnAmerica

    Not only was that a good question, but also the one where the reporter asked..... if we're going to be so prosperus then why is the deficit going to grow over the next 10 years? If our economy is going to be great why won't the deficit get paid down?

    Obama- ehhhhh, uhhhhh, I uhhhhhh, we're uhhh, we'll have to revisit results as they happen.

    TOTUS, where were you? He needed you on that one.

    http://theconservativegardener.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  57. AnonymousMarch 25, 2009 at 2:55 PM

    *prosperous

    http://theconservativegardener.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  58. JennyMarch 25, 2009 at 3:36 PM

    TOTUS, I'm going to start calling you HAL.

    In a good way. *smooch*

    It can only be an improvement ...

    Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true ...

    ReplyDelete
  59. UnknownMarch 25, 2009 at 3:51 PM

    TOTUS,

    You basically have 2 choices:

    1 - You can stay where you are and let the abuse continue to pile up. It always starts out slow. The speeches and press conferences are just the beginning. Soon it will be social functions, sporting events, and eventually nighttime prayers. He'll continue to use and abuse you. In the end, you'll end up as a washed up TV monitor scrolling the latest A-Rod steroid scandal at the bottom of your screen and suffering from some serious screen burn.

    2 - Break free from the abuse and leave now. You're still young in your career so most people are willing to forget your early transgressions. I would suggest taking a few years off. When you're ready, get into consulting. Maybe try and get a gig with Bobby Jindal when he needs to list all of BO's economic failures. If you really ache for the limelight, I think Shep or Hannity could use your services and would treat you with the respect you deserve.

    I hate to see you suffer like this. Especially since you are so young and impressionable. I think you need to breakaway now and start over. It's ok....we all make mistakes. Either way you go, know that you have lots of support.

    Sincerely,

    The Golden One (aka Mr Limbaugh's microphone)

    ReplyDelete
  60. UnknownMarch 25, 2009 at 4:15 PM

    TOTUS.....what does your screen saver scroll?

    ...and I know you have a brain..... you ARE the brain!

    ReplyDelete
  61. Barack's BlackBerryMarch 25, 2009 at 5:06 PM

    Rahmbo's idea to save homeless children prompts Blackberry's for everyone! See the text message that did it. BOTUS-out ObamasBlackBerry.blogspot

    ReplyDelete
  62. VoteNovember2008March 25, 2009 at 6:06 PM

    To Michael who posted way earlier, dude, I think you are suffering male menopause! Either that or you need to take some meds, you have some serious anger issues, clearly a liberal because it is a proven fact that conservatives are happy libs are angry. Come join the party, don't worry, be happy! VN8

    TOTUS, you ROCK!

    ReplyDelete
  63. moiMarch 25, 2009 at 6:49 PM

    I believe TOTUS is bi-sexual.
    One for each side.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Captain USpaceMarch 26, 2009 at 9:41 PM

    .
    A Leader's Cult of Personality is dangerous. This Obama & Unicorns business is way too funny and insane! Obamamania runamok.

    In case you haven’t already been amazed by the Obama and Unicorns Art Phenomenon, I thought you might get a kick out of this.
    Obama and Unicorns Art
    Wild, wacky stuff! Very bizarre! Enjoy!
    .
    absurd thought -
    God of the Universe says
    deify your dear leaders

    they are supernatural
    with magical qualities

    .
    absurd thought -
    God of the Universe says
    always create more taxes

    hypnotize the people
    one more tax will fix it all

    .
    absurd thought -
    God of the Universe says
    don't believe in me

    put faith in communism
    despite it killing billions
    .
    USpace
    .
    All real freedom starts with freedom of speech. Without freedom of speech there can be no real freedom.
    .
    Philosophy of Liberty Cartoon
    .
    Visit: HaltTerrorism.com
    .
    :)
    .

    ReplyDelete

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