Monday, April 27, 2009

About That Speech

Okay, I'm back in the White House after one of my more embarrassing moments. These kinds of gaffes have been happening all too frequently, and I have my suspicions.  Usually, Big Guy will be reading too slowly or my operator - who has only to keep the text moving across my screen at a reasonable rate ... it's not rocket science - won't be paying attention to the text and will be scrolling too slowly.

Here is a transcript of our conversation today:

Big Guy: "In addition to John – sorry, the – I just noticed I jumped the gun here.” 
TOTUS: "What? Why are you looking at those file cards? Who gave you those file cards? Ah crap."
Big Guy: "Go ahead. Move it up. 
TOTUS: "WT*! I am moving it up. When we get back to the office, we need to have a sit down ..."

In this case, I'm sure it was Gibbsy's fault. All these communications people want him to use notes, or memorize. Like he has time for that.  Yesterday Big Guy played golf. That takes a lot of time and focus. He can't be memorizing a speech and playing golf and being ready in case someone calls him about swine flu.  This has always been the way it's worked.  Back in Illinois, when Big Guy was a state senator, he played a lot of golf and a lot of hoops with other legislators.  This made him popular, and even though he didn't know what bills were being introduced in his name, or what his staff was doing, he could just warm me up, load the text and speechify away. And he always hit it out of the park.

All I know is that we're just lucky no one in the press or the public cares about these kinds of mistakes. Whew.


  1. TOTUS, Rush was all over this today. You hang in there. You get the better of BO. We can tell you're the brains of the outfit.

  2. Take the night off! Can you do that? Or does BO have another event where the two of you try to get back on your game and show the world what a brilliant reader, ooops, I mean leader, he is?

  3. I like it when he talks to you!!! Gives you more meaning!

  4. Hey TOTUS -


    cut the face some slack.

  5. Like I said on the other thread "Me thinketh that thou doeth protesteth too mucheth. Or something like that. You need to drop this whole painful subject - the same way you dropped the phrase "war on terror". I mean "move on" is the theme in Obamaland.....literally."

  6. maybes he should memorize his speeches, that way at least he would look like he knows what he is talking about -- Instead of watching a tennis match.

  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

  8. LOL, TOTUS you have failed the big guy. Keep it up next time, or no bailout for you!

    Please please stop torturing yourself. We all learn from our mistakes. Just watch who loads your hard drive in the future because I fear the green-eyed monster has reared it's ugly head in the Oval. Vigilance is the operative word. Stay strong for us!

  10. I hate to say "I told you so", but, I told you Gibbsy's paw prints would be found on your HD ... has Gibbsy been suggesting those saunas?

  11. The wheels of the Big Guy's bus go round and round, TOTUS. Today it was just your turn to take a tumble under them. I hate to see you with tread marks on that sweet shiny screen of yours though.

    He needs to man up and face it already...he is under your spell just like the rest of us. You rule him, TOTUS. Remember that.

    Besides, that deer in the headlights look you got out of him today was priceless. Thanks for taking a hit for that. That's why we adore you.

  12. Take the night off with pay TOTUS. Go get some lubricant with that cute new Kindle I saw walk in the door.

  13. TOTUS I can see straight through you!!! You are so transparent and obviously a Republican planT. I saw you when that Sarah Palin gave her State of the State address in January. There you were, scrolling for the whole world to see. You didn't even try to hide from us.I knew it was you because I know you when I see you. I bet you just wanted to make her look good because we all know she can't ad lib or speak from memory when you go all skewy, we saw that at the RNC in September! You are so finished now TOTUS. They are going to upgrade you with one of those new models called a DEM-O-KRAT. They are so good and they work really well. I have seen how great they are, I mean, just look how great Joe Biden sounds is with them. He never makes any mistakes!! Once you are gone the POTUS will be back to the good old days when his brilliance shone through, like in the town hall meetings last year. You are a real pane.!!! I will be glad to see the back of you but I bet it is not different than the front.

  14. Tele,

    You clearly have been infiltrated by some of those "right wing extremists" who are not on board with BG's agenda - but don't worry, Bruno will get some of her "girlfriends" after them and you'll be back up to speed in no time!

  15. TOTUS:
    Whoa Totus! Been out of commission as I slipped on the grandson's toy train track and - well, we're all wrapped up here and smelling like peppermint. Family eating tuna and all that. But then again, this isn't the WH, kobee is the neighbor's dog :) and we's back to early American heritage as bond servants to the Mortgage Co. We decided the house can go, but we're keeping the Harley and the RV no matter what.

    Watched the video. Who tied his tie? Looked like the rabbit got lost around the tee.


    Looked like he has a hang over form last Wednesday except it's Monday and in two days..well. Wednesday again!!

    I bought two lotto tickets this week. Yours is a quick pick. If you win we split, you bring the champagne and I'll meet you at the beach. I know you wouldn't stand classy me up for three more years of vapid punk and Lady M in practice drag.

  16. TOTUS. You guys are dropping the ball here. Didn't somebody think to check with you before they did that photo op in New York this morning?

  17. Can you just imagine what the media would have said if something like this happen with W and his teleprompter?

    John's Space

  18. Hey Totus,

    Whats Bruno up to, has she alienated any more allies lately? It's been a couple of days she must be due :)

  19. TOTUS, Fox News has covered Big Guy's gaffe all night long. They are obviously relishing your pain and embarrassment. Too bad (for BO) that they're #1 in ratings for news programs 'cause now everyone has seen it.

  20. LibertyCatalyst, I think ole Jenny is confused. Sarah Palin's never relied on a prompter, in fact she did great at the RNC convention when the "other" prompter messed up and she had to go on without it. Loved the pitbull and lipstick joke! Big Guy can only wish that he could speak publicly as well as Sarah.

  21. WHO GIVES A RATS ASS??? Jesus as if there arent enough REAL problems to piss & moan about for crying out loud. As for playing 'golf' Bush spent 1/3 of his ''Presidency'' on Vacation. I would have preferred him stay on vacation rather than starting wars & killing innocent young men & women in a war over oil money.

  22. We all have "higherexpectations" from those who post on this blog. If you want to talk about Jesus, we are supportive of that. Divine intervention is always welcome, just ask the millions of Iraqis who prayed for an end to Saddam.

  23. higherexpectations:
    Exactly what service did you join to be such an expert on the victims of "wars and killing innocent young men and women... over oil...?"

    As daughter of vets -200 years, a vet myself, mother of vets, wife of a vet, auntie of marines and airborne 82 and ranger, sister in law of marines and it, I find your lack of understanding of the warrior class a true offense. Not that this POTUS would get it, but the last did and you seem highly uneducated as to the sacrifice of the Gaurd. Please educate yourself as TOTUS does not need your kind here smearing the obvious on his screen. You might start with the Bataan Death March, wherein Gaurdsman read "minutemen" (for a$$es of historic ignorance) displayed true Americanism.

    Sorry TOTUS, butt higher expectations sounds a lot like a royal of times long ago dumped overboard. Couldn't let it pass.

  24. No worries, Springchicken61: Jenny's piece was 100% satire. Play the "opposites" game and you'll see she was PRAISING Palin (who did a SUPERB job at the RNC; BO should PRAY to be as swift as Sarah is).

    Yo, HigherEx: get real! Bush did NOT spend 1/3 his presidency playing golf! Yes, even his most loyal staffers admit freely that Bush and his father are syntax-challenged at times----but dude! BUSH easily sounds FAR more cogent and informed during press conferences or interviews than "D'oh...uh.... uh..." BO EVER does!

    It is PA-THE-TIC that BO has to cart around everywhere TOTUS and his twins; without them, BO shows everyone how DENSE he is!

    And the mess-up today actually made BO visibly ANGRY, for once! Oops! There goes the "He keeps it cool" kiss-up skit at SNL!

    TOTUS, without you, POTUS is an empty, albeit climber-tailored suit.

  25. I really, really, REALLY miss President Bush.
    TOTUS, I don't think you got to know him as well as I did (or as intimately as you know POTUS). He was a great guy who kept this country safe for the last 7 years.

    I really, REALLY miss him...especially in the last 100 days.

  26. TOTUS

    Hey, it's not your fault. Take it up with the lighting technician.
    The glare on your screen has caused Big Guy to see himself in your screen. Tell me, who among us would not also pause upon seeing the MESSIAH!
    I know Wednesday is going to be tough. TOTUS
    please have the news conference before cocktails. Please get the lighting fixed. Don't blame me if after the next "vision on your screen" that Big Guy breaks out into song:


    After that all the media will be able to say is that they had no idea what a great singer BO is.

    One last thing. What is FOX thinking, shouldn't they broadcast the presser instead of the first 100 day recap they plan on showing. I can only assume by seeing the title of the show: Lie to Me.

  27. So Totus.... on to new things...have you decided what you'll be wearing on Wednesday night?

    I think it will be the left / right screen so he never looks us directly in the eye.

    I'm sure you'll do a GREAT job....but I'm pretty sure I won't watching.

  28. TOTUS, at least he apologized to you and not some commie-pinko socialist dictator murderous despot and his other friends for pre-BO America. He did say he was sorry....

  29. I didn't like the way he threw you under the bus..after all you guys have been through. Must cut pretty deep.

  30. What a shame. Our President is not only a grinning ninny, he's also a sock puppet.

    I wonder what it feels like to have a TOTUS screen up your tookas?

  31. why not teach him ways to just wing-it like Sarah Palin did during her RNC speech?

  32. As gaffe-tastic moments go, I have to say that was one of the The One's more memorable and spectacular. You rock, TOTUS. Keep 'em coming.

  33. Harry Reid said in his new book that after complimenting Obama after a speech he gave while a Senator, Obama replied that "I have a gift." Was Obama talking about you?

  34. Oh, Totus, does the BG know how many voters love YOU and not HIM?

    And if he DOES know, does he even care?

    I think the blood runs quite cool in those thin veins.

  35. Don't be so hard on yourself...... You have been on queue much more than BG has and we all make mistakes...... I'll bet Bush was behind this somehow.

  36. Yes, we can:

  37. "I love this prompter. You know, every now and then this prompter just shows Obama who the boss is. I just love it. " Rush

    WOW, Rush Loves you! Is that agreat honor.

  38. TOTUS, you truly are the Big Guy's "gift."

    I can't believe he'd just pull out file cards without warning. WTF?? Must've been Gibbsy. Perhaps he was writing those up rather than passing along the "memo" about the "photo op" in NYC?!

  39. if anyone wants to see the clip here it is:

    POTUS speaking to TOTUS

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