I really find it outrageous that Big Guy does what no other President in the last half-century has been able to accomplish, and not a single person on this morning's talk show circuit would give him a lick of credit.
Here, he goes down to Mexico and a week later, he's managed to essentially get that country to close its borders. Granted, he may have done it by serving as "Patient Zero" in a global pandemic. But that's just so much Monday morning quarterbacking. Now where are those Purell screen wipes?
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No one would believe "Typhoid Barry".
ReplyDeleteWhen will reveal your true identity, TOTUS?
ReplyDeleteCould you gives us occasional little hints?
You're one of the most brilliant commentators of our generation. I expect books, talk shows and your own column.
Have we ever heard of you or has Big Guy just been an inspiration for your genius?
Oh Orbit... Your comments are scary, but make a lot of sense! TOTUS, any insight into this? Keep the purell wipes close, we need you.
ReplyDeleteTOTUS,
ReplyDeleteI have an idea for an addition to your line of promotional gear. How about a white face mask with your logo on the front? These would be very chic!
BTW, I am having fun wearing my TOTUS hoodie!
Next thing we know, someone will start a rumor that the Mexican who shook O's hand was a right-wing operative.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, TOTUS: BO offered his perfect body as a sacrificial lamb, to save the rest of us from death, taking upon himself the suffering we might have experienced.
ReplyDeleteUm.... where have I heard that story before?
TOTUS, we know you are immune to the swine flu (well actually every infectious disease if you want to be picky) and so we are grateful you will be around to supervise the pandemic. Not of course that you exactly have much of a personal stake in all this compared to, say, EMP.
ReplyDeleteTo help I've provided the official U.S. gov't guidance below (I'm not kidding). It is actually for bird flu, but after you blow a couple of mil on contractors to change the font it should work for swine flu too.
a. social distancing - stay away from people
b. local mitigation - don't expect anything from the federal gov't
c. cover your mouth when you sneeze
Sometimes it is the simple things in life that work best. That and awarding Novartis $200 million to build a humongous vaccine plant in the sticks of N. Carolina. There is also a real big national guard center newly built some miles north on the main road leading to the vaccine plant. Probably just a coincidence.
And do a search on all instances of "kleenex", "Vicks Vap-O-Rub", "Nyquil", and the like in your text and make sure Big Guy isn't shown with a tissue in his hand. Folks are going to be obsessed with every single cough, sniffle, and sneeze Big Guy makes.
TOTUS, TOTUS,
ReplyDeleteI have a confession to make. I've got a terrible crush on you. I know, I know. It's hopeless. I'm just a simple human while you are a magnificent hard drive with two of the most attractive faces I've ever seen. But a girl can hope can't she? So when you brought up the subject of swine flu my human heart skipped a beat. Please, please take care of your self. What would I do without you?
P.S. Make sure Toes or Gibbsy to Costco for the super jumbo pack of Purell wipes. Nothing is too good for you.
Hey, Totus, never let it be said that I don't give credit where due. When I saw on the news that they were closing the border--I'll admit it, I cheered.
ReplyDeleteIf we had only known that's all it took.
TOTUS ... you are amazing!!
ReplyDeleteAny chance BO is a carrier and he infected Chavez and Noreiga with those hugs and handshakes?
Take care of yourself ....
TOTUS.. you know a virus can mutate .. wear a mask ...
ReplyDelete;)
TennisMom2,
ReplyDeleteI hope that no one would say that, as I read that BG visited a museum and shook hands with the Mexican gentleman, and the man died the next day. And I understand that there have already been a large number of deaths in Mexico from this new swine flu. This could turn out to be a very serious threat.
LibertyBelle - I LOVE your mask idea. Maybe TOTUS could add one with a photo of BRUNO with a cirle/line through it over her face and a caption like "Just Say No to SWINE flu"...
ReplyDeleteDid they close the border too late to keep BG out of Mexico, or too late to keep the illegal Mexicans here who were trying to go back to Mexico because they decided that they didn't want to have to vote for BG, if they stayed?
ReplyDeleteOMG!! PREVARICATOR OF THE UNITED STATES (POTUS) is the vector for the swine flu!!??!! When was it first detected in Mexico?? Before or after he was there?
ReplyDelete"Typhoid Barry." [fche] LOL1[that was for you, Shaun, heh, heh, NOT! I do that all the time and not on purpose!!!!!!]!
ReplyDeleteExactly how someone with a nose stuffed up from the flu would pronounce it.
Ms. [Logical] Apprehension, circumstantially speaking.... AFTER!
ReplyDeleteOf course, that unfortunate Mexican at the museum must have contracted it before the Dope arrived in Mexico, but, that fact doesn't destroy our case against D'oh!.
The timing of that (particular) man's death is certainly WEIRD. Reminds me of a certain GRANDMOTHER who died -- right on cue... .
A man who would argue vigorously for tossing newborn infants who survive an attempt to murder them by "abortion," into a trash bin to DIE, would do ANYTHING.
ReplyDeleteAnything.
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