Last night I couldn't sleep, so I went down to the White House residence kitchen, and there was Joey B. It's not clear why he was down there rummaging through the fridge, but we ended up sitting down with warm milk and cookies, and he told me about the last time, as majority leader of the U.S. Senate, that he faced down a vicious crew of pirates.
He and his family had gone on a cruise and the pirates attacked the boat with small arms fire, antiquated rocket launchers, and knives. They boarded, chased the women into the cabins, and locked most of the men in a storage room below deck. Joe described how he hid in dinghy up on deck and worked tirelessly to defeat them, taking them out one by one, and negogtiating with the leaders from a position of strength.
It was only after he talked about how he had to coax the key from a dog to open the cabin where the other men were locked away, that I realized he was talking about the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyworld. This also explains why he kept telling Big Guy that rum was the key to our negotiations with the Somalis.