Thursday, April 9, 2009

In Which I Save a Life ...

It's not that dramatic a story, really. But a young staffer, whom I will call Bill to protect his privacy, made a fairly serious screw-up earlier today. You can read about here.

Gibbsy, as is often the case, flew into a rage and was threatening to plant the poor kid in one of the holes that remain unfilled in the Rose Garden. Never mind that Bill was the second cousin twice removed of Rep. Barney Frank, how was he to know how "e-mail" and "attachments" work? He's only a 30-year-old kid, for goodness sake.

Just as Gibbsy was grabbing William by the scruff of his neck and giving him a good shake as he dragged him toward the West Wing exit, I grabbed Gibbsy and hit him with my left screen to calm him down. That seemed to snap him out of it. I told Gibbsy that I would take Bill under my screen, as it were, so now I have new Teleprompter operator. From now on, you can blame him for Big Guy's speechifying errors and leave me alone.


  1. I don't know anything of these mythical "speechifying errors" of which you speak.

    And, frankly, the mere suggestion seems more than a tad blasphemous.

  2. Hey, TOTUS! Got a great picture of you during your time in Prague. Come take a look.

  3. If that incompetent, know-nothing kid pays close attention he might grow clean and articulate under your tutelege. He might even be the next POTUS. Treat him well.

  4. TOTUS - You hit Gibbsy?!? I didn't think you condoned violence. I think you need to start scrolling both an apology and a draft resolution to the UN stating that such violent measures cannot be taken, especially in the vaunted West Wing - the center of US morality.

  5. adding that the staffer will not suffer repercussions for the mistake.

    No repercussions... just a concussion!
    This is great reality tv...Oh, crap, they are trying to run the country!

  6. TOTUS, you and Big Guy can relax this week - pressure's off. No one will be paying attention to political speeches, Somalian pirates or Cuban lovin' black caucaus congresspeople - Tiger is playing in the Masters!

  7. A scapegoat named "Billy." Heh, heh. You've done it again, TOTUS!

    I suppose "Bill" was also the "White House staffer" handed the piece of paper a couple days ago that said (paraphrased): "He did not bow to the King or kiss his ring. He only shook King Saud's hand with both hands [NOT! Watch the video; left hand was down by B.O.'s own, bending, knee] and the king is short."
    And was then told to --
    --- "just call this number and tell them you know what you're talking about, but don't tell them who you are."

  8. "clean and articulate" -- Bah, ha, haaa. Good one, Dewey. Wonder what B.O. did when Joe walked into the Oval Office and handed him his shoes to shine?

    Yeah, T, [nice analogy] the occupation of Washington, D. C. by the Socialist-Environazi's turns an amusing melodrama into a now-I-won't-sleep-for-days horror show, huh? Kind of like going from "The Beverly Hillbillies" to "Invasion of the Body Snatchers." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

  9. CLARIFICATION: I was not comparing the Bush Administration to the Clampetts. B.O. and Big Mo are the Clampetts. They appeared to be just harmless dopes until........................."I won."... and letting terrorists go free from Gitmo...... and the holes in the backyard .... and King O collaring the President of GM.... and on and on and on -- IT NEVER ENDS!!!

  10. Close call! It's a good thing you were there, TOTUS. :)

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